Matter of Years
by Itdoesringabell
Summary: AU from 5x17. Five years in the lives of Dan and Blair.
1. Prologue

**_I'm back with a mutiple chapters fiction this time. This is actually the first fanfiction I have imagined, but I didn't want to publish it because I wasn't sure I would have time to continue it. But today, it was either doing that or crying over the season finale._**

**_So here it is. This is a five chapters fanfiction with a prologue and probably an epilogue._**

**_For those of you who read _So Damn Dan_ perhaps you'll be happy to know that Nana will be in at least three chapters of this story. _**

**_I hope you'll enjoy it and that by the end it would have contribued to heal a little our wounded Dair loving hearts._**

**_Have a good reading._**

* * *

**PROLOGUE**

* * *

They had been together for a whole year when Dan started having doubts. He couldn't help noticing that something was missing. Things were different as they were in the beginning and not a good different. Not bad either. Just strangely different.

Their fights were different. Although teasing each other about their origins was a part of their relationship, after the first year, they really started to get annoyed by it. Dan liked spending nights with Blair at the penthouse, but he never really wanted to hang out in the Upper East Side. Central Park was the only place he could really spend a whole afternoon with her. And Blair always left Brooklyn right after breakfast. Sometimes even before.

The way they spent time in public was different. At the beginning they would often try to steal a moment to be with each other, just the two of them. After a year, they could spend an entire Humphrey-Van der Woodsen brunch without talking to each other. And it didn't bother any of them.

The way they made love was different. At the beginning Dan always managed to find the perfect balance between the roughness, empowered by an intense desire to pleasure her and the tenderness, because nothing had never felt sweeter to him than making love to her. Blair always managed to surprise him by taking control at the most unexpected moment, and she often showed how good he felt to her. After a year, they had sex mostly after little fights, and Dan could only manage the roughness. At the beginning Blair could have had made love to him all night long, or at any time of the day. After a year, she often told him that they shouldn't be too long, because she had things to do in the morning.

Once, they talked about moving in together. They agreed that they were going to do it, soon. But Blair insisted that they find an apartment in the Upper East Side while Dan wanted nothing else but sharing his loft with her. He didn't feel ready to leave it. It was the place he had grew up in, it was the place he had written his first novel, it was the place when they had had the best movie night. It was the place she had told him her heart belonged to him. It was the place he had told her he loved her.

Blair always said she understood the emotional bond, but that it was no reason to keep living in memories.

"Don't you want to create new ones with me?" she asked him.

"I do"

Of course he did. But if what she was saying was true, why couldn't she leave the Upper East Side and come live with him?

He asked her once, but all she did was rolling her eyes.

"It's impossible to argue with you" she said.

So they stopped talking about it. They just gave up. And Dan started having doubts. He could see she did too.

Blair started to get difficult. She never liked the way he talked to her. Every little bicker, every tiny remark from him seemed to hurt her. She would burst into tears when he told her that she was being childish or when he faked admitting he was wrong just to avoid a fight. She didn't have the energy to fight with him, but she sometimes didn't have the energy to even be with him. So she would cry. She could never understand why.

And the worst part was she could see he was having doubts about their relationship. She knew it was mostly her fault. She had never told him she loved him, even though they had been together for so long. She often made great efforts to show him, but she could never say it.

So one night of spring, as they were snuggling on the couch they had installed on the roof, she looked at him and told him. He smiled slightly and put his lips on hers.

The fact that she was finally able to say it did not make things better. Neither did the fact that they discovered she was two months pregnant.

By the fourth month of the pregnancy, Blair had moved to Brooklyn, but it didn't drive them closer. On the contrary, Dan seemed to be miles away. He took great care of her, but it stopped there. At first, it hurt her. Then she started to realize that the less he was at the loft, the more at peace she felt. One day, he came back home with a friend.

Her name was Sonja. She was Finnish and she worked as a kindergarten teacher to support her career as a photograph. They had run into each other several times at exhibits and lectures. So Dan invited her to dinner. She was actually really nice, but it didn't matter to Blair. It was like she _needed_ to hate her.

At the beginning of the sixth month, Dan and Blair broke up. They had been fighting much more and Dan was well aware that upsetting Blair was bad for the baby. So he took the step neither of them had dared to take for months and ended things. He would still be there for the baby, of course. And she could always count on him whenever she needed anything. But it didn't work for him anymore. He couldn't recognize the Blair Waldorf he had fallen in love with. She didn't even cry. Even though her hormones were working fulltime, she didn't even shed a tear over the longest relationship she had been in. It only convinced them both.

Blair moved back to the penthouse, and Serena moved back with her, to support her. Dan and Blair continued to meet for coffee, for doctor appointments, to decorate the nursery. But that was it. No more movie nights. No more art exhibits. No more concerts. Just the Dan and Blair they had been during their first year of college. Courteous to each other, with the difference that they were going to become parents together.

One night during the eighth month of her pregnancy, Blair panicked. She was scared about the baby. She couldn't help thinking about what had happened the last time she had been pregnant. Serena was out, so the only option was to call Dan. He came right away. He reassured her. He didn't flinch when he accepted her request to stay the night with her. He lied on the bed next to her and they fell asleep together, his arms around her.

The morning after, when he was sure that she was alright, he left. She wanted to run after him, to tell him to come back into her life the way he used to be. But she didn't. And later, she congratulated herself. It would've been a mistake.

Dan was on his first date with Sonja when Serena called him to tell him that Blair's water had broken. It was two weeks before the due date and Dan cursed himself for never considering that she might be early.

He ran to the hospital and found Serena with Blair in the waiting room. About four hours later, it was time to go to the delivery room. About an hour later, Dan was hearing the first cry of his daughter.

Ombeline was born on November 5th, just a week before her mother's birthday.

The day after, everyone came to meet her; Lily and Rufus, Nate and Lola, Jenny, and even Chuck. They brought gifts, flowers, chocolate, and balloons. Serena brought Dan a clean shirt. He hadn't left Blair's and Ombeline's sides.

He accompanied them to the penthouse when the doctor gave them clearance. He stayed for a while, helping Blair to settle their daughter in the nursery. He had been holding Ombeline for a few minutes when she started crying. Blair took her and settled with her on a big velvet chair next to the crib. She dropped one of the straps of a dress and pulled out her left breast, guiding it to her daughter's mouth. Dan had never seen Blair feed her before. He couldn't take his eyes away the entire time.

Ombeline was soon asleep and Blair felt tired too. Dan took this as his cue to leave. When he stepped outside the building and into the streets, he felt lonely and empty. And he realized that it was a feeling he would have to get used to.


	2. I don't know

**_So here is the first real chapter. Took me forever to write it because it is very long (I think) since I am tring to relate almost a year of their lives._**

**_For those of you who get lost in the timeline, you can always ask me, but I think that the easiest way to not lose yourself is to use Ombeline's birthday as a focus point._**

**_I hope you have a good reading! _**

* * *

It had been eleven months since they had broken up.

Summer was the perfect time to celebrate his engagement, Dan was sure of it and the Hamptons were the perfect setting. Lily had been nice enough to let them host the party at Cece's house.

He looked at himself in the mirror and played with his cuff-link. His fiancée was right. He did look good in a suit. He looked out the window to the garden, brightly covered by the hot sun of July. He could see caterers getting ready for the party. He couldn't believe what was about to happen to him. He was getting married.

Dan had never imagined himself married since he and Blair had split up. They had been apart for ten months when Sonja proposed to him. Of course, it took him by surprise. He couldn't see why she would want to spend the rest of her life with him. He was a struggling writer and a single dad. When he wasn't busy trying to fix his lack of inspiration, he was busy taking care of Ombeline. Sonja had the whole world before her, so Dan didn't see what would be appealing in being his wife.

Also, they hadn't been together that long. When Ombeline was born, Dan didn't want to get involved with anyone. He wanted to show Blair that nothing was more important to him than their daughter. But Sonja had been insistent. So he gave in at the beginning of December and Sonja turned out to be a wonderful partner.

He never told Blair about his new relationship, she was the one to figure it out. She told him that she could scent out someone other than him on Ombeline when he would bring her back after spending days with her. If she was mad about it, or even uncomfortable, she never showed any signs of it. On the contrary, she wished him to be happy.

"Knock knock"

Dan turned around to see Nate coming into the bedroom holding a bottle of Vodka and two shot glasses.

"Ready for the first toast of the day?" he asked Dan.

Dan smiled.

"What do you think?" he said "Where is Ivy?"

Nate simply shrugged while he put down the glasses on the dresser to fill them with the vodka.

"She's talking with your grandmother. Apparently, they come from close towns in Florida"

He handed Dan a shot.

"Really? I never knew that."

"Yeah. So…"

Nate held up his drink with a grin.

"Welcome to my world. The world of men married to hot, smart, sensitive women. Because we're lucky like that."

"And welcome to mine. In five short months, you'll enter the world of sleepless nights, bottles, diapers and pooped-on shirts" Dan said.

"Can't wait for that last part" Nate laughed.

They clinked glasses and drank.

"What is going on here?" Serena's voice distracted them from the burning trail the alcohol was creating in their throats. "Why are you drinking…"

"We know Serena, respectable men don't drink in the afternoon" Nate waved the end of her sentence away. "But he is about to become better than a respectable men. He is about to become like me."

"You mean the guy who dated my cousin for two years only to realize that he was in fact in love with my fake cousin? Why wouldn't anyone want to be like you?"

Serena yanked the bottle out of his hand and opened it.

"What I meant was: why are you drinking without me?"

She brought the bottle to her mouth and drank directly from it. Dan and Nate shared an amused look.

"Are you okay?" Dan asked her.

"My mother is driving me crazy" Serena said shaking her head. "She's all like 'what are you doing with your life? Are you just going to stand there at your ex's engagement party?'"

"About that" Dan said "I never told Sonja that my stepsister is actually my ex so if you could just avoid to mention it, like, forever?"

"Got your back, bro" Serena said drinking again.

Nate took the bottle away from her.

"I think that's enough for now" he told her "Besides, you already seem drunk."

"Just a little" she whispered. "Alright, Sonja's little brother is cute, I'm gonna go talk to him."

"Oh yes please make our situation weirder" Dan told her sarcastically as she was leaving the room.

Nate clapped his hands together.

"Let's go welcome your guests, shall we?"

"Lead the way"

They went to the garden to see that everything was in place. Several tables were set with white lace fabric and lavenders at the center of each of them. There was a little podium with a microphone for toasts and an elegant buffet with all sorts of meals settled on it.

"Dan!"

Sonja was walking toward him, pulling a tall blond man by the hand. Dan assumed it was her father. He felt nervous about meeting her family. Sonja had been living in the United States for almost five years, but Dan feared for a culture shock to occur between him and the rest of her family.

"Dan, my family has arrived. Meet my father, Ivar. Dad, this is Dan."

The man shook firmly Dan's hand, looking him in the eyes.

"Nice to meet you, Dan" he said with a perfect accent.

"Nice to meet you too, sir" Dan answered.

Sonja was beaming, looking back and forth at the two of them.

"I am so happy" she said "And, guess what? Your step sister and my brother are already bonding! They went for a walk around the block"

"I'll handle it" Nate whispered before excusing himself to the others.

"So Dan" Sonja's father said "My daughter tells me you're a writer."

"Hum, I'm trying to be."

"He's being too modest" Sonja said, her arms snaking around his. "He writes for several men magazines and his first book was a best-seller!"

"Have you written any other novel since?" her father asked.

"I've started some things, but the inspiration was never there in the end." Dan answered nervously.

He hated talking about his work. Especially since it had been so hard for him to write lately. He searched in his head an excuse to leave.

"Dan!" a voice came from behind him.

He instantly recognized it and turned around. His breath hitched.

Blair was standing at the door, her long brown curls flying under the wind's blow. She was dressed in an orange summer dress and she was wearing a pearl necklace. The one he offered her for her birthday, back when they were dating. Even though they had been through so much, even though Dan was almost certain than any romantic relationship between them would always be doomed, he was sure that he would never stop finding her beautiful.

And the only thing that could make her look perfect was her holding their seven-month-old in her arms.

"Excuse me" Dan mumbled to Sonja and her father as he was moving toward Blair.

Ombeline saw him coming their way and clapped happily her hands together.

"Dada" she said and Dan's heart jumped.

He looked at Blair. She was smiling at him.

"I heard her saying it last week, and she was pointing at a picture of you in her room." Blair said.

"Really?" Dan asked, his throat tight.

It was incredible what kind of feelings his daughter stirred into him. There was absolutely no way that he could ever love someone else more. She was perfect. Ombeline had her mother's eyes, but she had his messy curls. She had this incredibly lively smile. And he thought she was so smart. He took her in his arms and kissed her right next to the bow in her hair.

"Hi, darling. I've missed you"

"Dada" she repeated and Dan smiled looking back at Blair.

"Shit, I think I'm going to cry" he said.

"Hey, that's a no-no word!" Blair scoffed.

"Sorry" Dan said, kissing his daughter again. "Daddy is a naughty boy. So how have you been?"

"Good" Blair simply said. "I'm going to start taking over my mother's company soon, so we should really get started on the Nanny search"

"Sure" Dan nodded slowly.

He actually wasn't a big fan of letting a stranger raise their daughter.

"Or you know, I mostly work at home and Rufus…"

"No Dan" Blair shook her head and put a gentle hand on his arm "You know you can't work when you're with her. You get too distracted. Come on, do you really think I'm going to let the father of my daughter be a failure?"

Dan chuckled.

"Yeah, you're right."

They smiled at each other while Ombeline was gurgling between them. Blair lived for those moments; the moments they could all be a family, no matter where their lives had actually led them. Seeing Dan holding Ombeline was one of her favorite sights. They looked so much alike. The way Dan smiled at their daughter was heart-melting.

"Hi Blair"

None of them had seen Sonja approach, too lost in their moment. Blair instantly removed her hand from Dan's arm and smiled at her.

"Hi, Sonja. The party looks lovely."

"Thank you!" Sonja replied with a smile "And what is this little girl doing here?" she said tickling Ombeline with a finger.

"She says 'Dada' now" Dan told her proudly.

"Really? Oh you must miss him so much sweetie. Too bad you don't get to see him too much."

Blair's eyes could have murdered Sonja. She knew about their fight. The fight when Dan reproached her to not let him see his daughter enough.

"So Blair" Sonja turned to her "We saw that you checked the 'plus-one' case on your invitation for the party. Where is your date?"

"Chuck had a meeting" Blair replied without even flinching. "He should be there soon enough."

Sonja's smile faltered.

"Oh so you are back with Chuck?" she asked.

"I am." Blair said.

"And you're bringing him here?"

"I did check the case, didn't I? Is there a problem?"

Sonja turned to Dan.

"Well, if Dan doesn't mind…"

"Of course I don't" Dan said, ill-at-ease. "Blair had already told me about them getting back together."

"Oh really?" Sonja asked. She wasn't smiling anymore.

"Yes" Blair said. She took back Ombeline in her arms "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to look for Serena. Ombeline hasn't seen her godmother for too long, I don't want to keep her away from more people."

She had said the last sentence with her eyes fixed on Dan with a murderous glare and he just knew she was going to give him hell for telling Sonja about this particular fight. He turned to his fiancée.

"Why did you feel like you had to say that?" he asked her.

"I didn't say anything bad. Your daughter obviously misses you. Now, do you want me to introduce you to my mother or are you too busy with your ex?"

Dan sighed. There was no time to argue about that. Their fights about Blair were always the nastiest.

"Let's go" she said pulling him by the hand.

Dan avoided Blair for the rest of the party. And his task wasn't too hard because there was always someone to congratulate him or give him some advices.

Blair did not look for him either. She was busy catching up with Serena and Nate and trying to cope with the fact that Ivy was going to have to be a part of the gang, since Nate had married her and got her pregnant. She hated how their lives had changed in the matter of one year. And she had this feeling it was not about to stop.

The night soon descended upon the Hamptons and Serena was nowhere to be seen. Blair wanted to tell her goodbye before heading to the city so she left Ombeline with Dan's grandmother and went to look for her. She never found Serena, but as she was walking around the barn in the back of the garden, she spotted Dan. He was sitting on the grass, a lit cigarette between his fingers.

"Since when do you smoke?" Blair asked loudly enough so he could hear her.

Dan's head turned in her direction and he smiled. He stood up as she was walking toward him.

"Honestly" he said "I don't remember. But it helps me think."

"What are you thinking about?" Blair asked taking the cigarette from his hand and throwing it away.

Dan sighed deeply and looked her in the eyes.

"I was thinking about you. About you and Ombeline. I was trying to imagine how your life is when you're just the two of you."

Blair didn't say anything. She just stood there and looked at him.

"I could see it" Dan went on "I could see you taking care of her, taking her to the park, taking her shopping. But then I realized that it was all just my imagination, because I have never actually seen you be a full-time mother. It feels wrong, Blair."

"I know. It feels wrong to me too."

"We need to fix this. We need to find time for just the three of us. At the park, maybe?"

Dan knew the suggestion was risky but he really wanted to feel like a family with them.

"I was going to take her to see a puppet show next week" Blair said.

"I'm in."

Blair smiled and nodded. She felt as if they were planning an outing to some exhibits or play like they used to do all that time ago. The fact that they were actually doing it for their daughter made her feel incredibly complete.

"I ran into your mother earlier" Dan told her with a smile. "I'm guessing she was your plus-one"

"You got me" Blair said.

"So you told Sonja it was Chuck because…?"

"Because I knew she would freak out" Blair answered honestly. "I knew she would be scared of the possibility of you getting jealous at the sight of me and Chuck."

"Devious. Very Blair Waldorf." Dan chuckled.

"Thank you."

"And I hope it works better this time with Chuck"

He didn't, though. Not really.

"Thanks" Blair said. "I have to go, or Nana will probably run away with Ombeline. Come with me so you can kiss her goodnight."

She was starting to leave when Dan took her by the wrist and pulled her against him. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. Blair responded to his embrace and it was just the two of them in the night, with the background noises of the party behind them. Dan put a kiss on her forehead before pulling away. It wasn't the first time this happened. It was probably the fifth time since their daughter's birth that one of them initiated this kind of moment.

And neither of them ever complained, because they knew they needed it. Whether they were together or not didn't matter. Sometimes, they just needed to feel each other close.

/

A week later, they spent a whole day with just Ombeline. Dan came to the penthouse and cooked them breakfast. While Blair prepared a picnic basket for lunch, Dan went to nursery to get their daughter ready for the busy day ahead of them. Then they went shopping for Ombeline and Dan fell in love with a pale yellow little dress. He couldn't explain why, but he couldn't wait to see Ombeline wear it. It made Blair laugh. She even took a picture of Dan showing the dress to their daughter.

They went to Central Park for lunch. The three of them settled on a blanket Blair had packed. Dan put Ombeline between his legs while Blair fed her little pieces of macaroons. Ombeline loved it and kept trying to reach out for the bigger pieces in Blair's hands. Then it was time for her daily nap. Blair fed her a bottle while Dan cleaned up everything. Ombeline fell asleep on the blanket and Blair lied down next to her with her eyes closed. Dan took out a notebook and started writing, peaking at the two of them from time to time.

Of course a picture of them ended up on Gossip Girl. Dan didn't bother read the caption it was posted with. Neither Chuck nor Sonja contacted them after the blast, but Nate texted Dan a smiley face.

Ombeline loved the puppet show. Her little eyes were gleaming at the animation and she threw her arms in the air, laughing. Dan and Blair laughed along with her. They were both experiencing the great feeling of being a parent. There was no feeling in the world comparable to this one.

The three of them headed back to Brooklyn after the show. They had agreed that Dan would take Ombeline for the weekend so Blair could have more time alone with her mother while she was still in New York. Blair accepted the cup of tea Dan offered her but decided to not stay too long. The loft brought back too many memories and she wasn't sure she could handle it all.

When she got back to the penthouse, her mother was waiting for her, already dressed to go to dinner with her. And all night long, until she went to bed, all Blair could think of was how good it felt to have a family.

/

Fall took over the summer without any incidents. They had spent more family days together, going to the park and more puppet shows. They had found a nanny together, a Constance sixteen-year-old student named Elise. It had been a year and three months since they had broken up.

On November 5th, Blair was woken up by the smell of waffles. Her eyes fluttered open in confusion, but she got her answer when she saw Dan sitting at the end of her bed with a fully awake Ombeline on his laps. A breakfast tray was settled next to her on the bed and she smiled.

"Breakfast in bed on birthdays" Dan told her with a smile. "That's how my parents used to roll."

"I like it" Blair said before reaching out to her daughter.

"Good morning sweetie. Happy birthday."

"Mommy" Ombeline said taking a strand of her mother's hair in her little fist.

"Can you believe it's been a year?" Dan asked.

He took off his shoes and went to lie next to Blair over the covers, putting the tray between them. It felt awkward to be on the same bed as her, but he wanted to be closer to them.

"It's unbelievable" Blair answered, giving Ombeline a piece of a waffle. "She doesn't even realize what's going on. What time is it? We need to get started on the decoration for the party."

They had decided to hold Ombeline's first birthday party at the loft. It was the place she spent the less time at, so Blair thought that celebrating her first birthday there would make the place special. Dan had been extremely touched by the thought.

"Actually, I've already done it" Dan said, giving her an embarassed look. "I couldn't sleep last night, so I decorated the loft."

"Humphrey! It's her first birthday, we should have done it together. It's not fair!"

"I know, I know, I'm so sorry. It's just that I kept thinking…I am the father of a one-year-old girl whose mother is Blair Waldorf and I am getting married in a few months to a Finnish woman. When did _that_ become my life?"

Blair sighed stroking Ombeline's hair.

"I know. I can't believe I've been a mother for a year. And I can't believe how great she is. I'm afraid I will mess her up one day."

"Hey, Blair"

Dan reached out to take her hand in his.

"You are a great mother. And we're going to be fine."

Blair smiled at his compliment and at his promise. She squeezed his hand before passing Ombeline to him.

"I'm going to take a shower, and then we can go pick up Nana in Hudson."

She got out of the bed and went to her bathroom. Dan stayed on the bed with Ombeline and continued to offer her small pieces of solid food. She kept spitting some of it on her pajamas and Dan laughed imagining Blair's reaction when she would see the result.

"Blair?"

Chuck's voice was the last thing Dan expected to hear at that moment and he looked at the bathroom door wondering if Blair had heard.

"Blair, it's me"

Dan didn't dare say anything although he could hear that Chuck's voice had gotten closer. Soon enough he was standing at the bedroom's door, not hiding his surprise at the sight of Dan on Blair's bed.

"Chuck!" Ombeline said pointing at him.

It was then Dan's turn to be surprised. Since when did his daughter know Chuck's name? Did they spend that much time together? Ombeline could barely recognize Sonja.

Dan got off the bed and they stood there looking at each other.

"Daddy! Chuck!" Ombeline said with the biggest smile on her face.

"Hello, Humphrey." Chuck said.

"Hey. What's up?"

"I came to see if Blair wanted to have breakfast at The Empire with Ombeline since it's her…"

"Her birthday" Dan finished his sentence, annoyed. "I know."

"I'm sorry" Chuck said "But since the party is at your place this afternoon I figured…"

"You figured wrong" Dan said.

He didn't even know what Chuck was about to say. All he knew was that everything about the man standing in front of him made him want to punch him. They were engaged in some sort of a stare contest when Blair's voice came out from the bathroom.

"Dan, do you mind getting Ombeline ready? I need to make a couple of calls before we can go."

Dan went to pick up Ombeline on the bed and went in front of the bathroom door so she could hear him.

"No problem. And Chuck is here."

Then he left the room without a look for Chuck. Blair opened the bathroom door with a surprised look on her face.

"Chuck. What are you doing here?"

"I came to invite you to breakfast. What was _he_ doing on your bed?"

Blair went to close the door to prevent Dan from hearing their exchange.

"Breakfast in bed on birthdays in a Humphrey tradition" she said starting to get dressed.

"I don't see why it had to be in your bed."

"Chuck" Blair turned to him with her hands on her hips. "We already had this talk. You have to accept the fact that Dan will always be a part of my life. And a part of yours if all those things you're saying about wanting to be with me are true."

"Of course they are, Blair."

"Good" she said. She leaned in to give him a light kiss. "I'll see you at the party later."

"Actually" Chuck said "I can't make it. I'm sorry, that's why I wanted to take you to breakfast. Something came up and I can't…"

"Of course you can't" Blair interrupted him angrily. "Let yourself out, Chuck. I'll see you tomorrow."

She went to open the door and waited next to it for Chuck to leave. He didn't argue and did as she asked. After he left, Blair went to the nursery and picked up some of the toys on the floor. Dan was putting a clean diaper on Ombeline who was lying on the changing table.

His eyebrows were frowned and Blair could see the muscles on his back were tense. She walked toward him and put a hand on his wrist. He yanked it away and turned to her.

"Why are you with him?" he asked.

Blair was unhinged by the question. No one had ever asked her that since she had got back with Chuck. Nate, Serena, her mother; they all probably thought that it was normal. Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck. It relieved Blair that no one asked, because she wasn't sure of the answer. And most of the time, that question was replaced in her mind by a similar one.

"Why are you with her?" she asked Dan.

Dan looked at her with a mix and confusion and anger.

"Is it about me and Sonja? Are you with him to get back at me?" he asked. "I can't believe you Blair."

"It has nothing to do with that" Blair snapped.

"Then why can't you tell me why you're with Chuck?"

"I don't know! Probably for the same reason you can't tell me why you're with Sonja."

"You don't know that." Dan told her ferociously.

"Go on then" Blair looked at him defiantly "Tell me. I'm all ears."

They were both breathing heavily, looking at each other without blinking. Ombeline starting to cry between them brought them back on earth. Dan turned to his daughter and finished to put her diaper before he picked her up and gave her to Blair.

"I shouldn't have come this morning. I'll see you at the party."

And just like that he left. Blair was stunned. It was the first time he didn't kiss Ombeline goodbye.

Dan went home to find Sonja waiting for him in the living room. He lied when she asked him how breakfast with Blair went. He muttered a simple "Good" then suggested they watch a movie before going to Hudson to pick up his grandmother.

They agreed on an Israeli movie. But for the two hours it lasted, Dan couldn't focus. He kept thinking about what Blair had asked him. Why, indeed, was he marrying Sonja? Of course she was an incredible woman. And Ombeline liked her. Dan and Sonja always seemed to be on the same page. Like him, she had a strong artistic fiber and she was fiercely creative. Dan even hung one of her photographs in his living room. She was really talented, and he felt proud to be with her. And she respected his relationship with Blair. Even though she sometimes showed her jealousy, she would always understand that they all needed to get on well for Ombeline's sake.

She loved him. And he loved her. Perhaps less than she loved him, but he did. They could build a great family together with Ombeline and perhaps other children of their own. There was no reason why he shouldn't marry her. He was even lucky to have found her.

When the movie was over they took the car and went directly to pick up Nana in Hudson. Alison welcomed them in her robe, her face red and tired. She had been suffering from a cold and told Dan she wouldn't be able to attend Ombeline's birthday party. Dan was relieved to hear it because it would spare them the drama of an encounter between his parents; but it also meant that Nana was going to have to spend the night at the loft, and Dan was never prepared enough for more than three hours with her.

She was ready, waiting for him on the living room couch. When she saw Dan, she immediately stood up.

"Where is the baby?" she asked.

"With her mother" Dan said kissing his grandmother on the cheek "But you'll see her soon enough"

"And you brought _her_ instead?" Nana said, pointing at Sonja. "At least that Blair girl knows how to dress."

Dan groaned and took his grandmother over-night bag. How inconvenient was it that his grandmother started liking Blair right when they were growing apart?

"Be nice with Sonja, Nana. She's going to be my wife soon."

"Says who?" Nana asked.

"Says me! Now can we get going?"

Nana started walking toward the exit mumbling:

"The only reason I'm getting in the same car as her is to see my baby."

Dan rolled his eyes and looked at Sonja.

"Are you okay?"

"Sure" Sonja answered with a smile. "You get used to it."

The ride back wasn't the more pleasant. Nana kept complaining about the car, about Sonja's breathing being too loud, about Dan's horrible tastes in music. Dan started to understand why his Nana liked Blair so much. He couldn't believe he hadn't seen the similarities before.

When they arrived at the loft, Nate, Ivy and Serena had already made their way in. When Serena saw them coming in, she jumped off the couch.

"Where is Ombeline?" she asked

"With Blair" Dan answered.

"Oh" Serena did, disappointed. "Well I want to see her. It's been way too long. Hi, Nana."

"Finally someone polite here" Nana said.

Hearing that, Nate stood up and went to greet her while Ivy was desperately trying to get up, embarrassed by her swollen belly.

"Oh not you, my dear" Nana told her "I was talking for pretty boy here" she said pointing at Nate.

"Could we get started on the champagne while we wait?" Serena asked.

"There's no champagne." Sonja told her.

"But…why?" Serena seemed even more disappointed.

"Because it's a one-year-old birthday party" Dan told her with a half-smile.

"So?" Serena asked again.

"So you have a drinking problem, Serena" Nate told her.

All the other groaned. It wasn't the first time Serena and Nate had fought on this particular subject. Dan and Sonja went to the kitchen and Ivy found enough strength to get off the couch and join them. As for Nana, she sat down and waited for them to start fighting.

"Leave me alone, Nate. I'm fine."

"No you're not. Go and look at your eyes in a mirror. They're glimmering and I know you, Serena, this is a brandy glimmering. It's two in the afternoon, who drinks brandy before 6 p.m.?"

"The British do it" Serena objected. "Probably"

"Not." Nate said "I'm telling you, we're gonna have to find you some help and…"

"Uuugh!" Serena closed her eyes and put her hands over her ears "Leave me alone, I don't need help."

"Serena…"

"La la la la la! I'm not listening!"

"Okay great" A vein was visible on Nate's temple "We're celebrating a one-year old today and you are still going to be the most childish person in this room."

"What's going on?" Blair's voice asked. She was standing at the entrance of the loft, Ombeline tucked in her arms, and was watching the scene, incredulous.

Serena stopped chanting and ran to her.

"Oh _ma chérie_" she said, taking Ombeline "Your godfather is being mean to me. Your parents could've done a better job choosing him."

Nate threw his arms in the air and went to stand next to Ivy. Blair immediately understood that they had been fighting about the now infamous "drinking problem". She decided not to get involved, as usual and turned to Nana.

"Hi, Nana! I'm so glad you could make it!"

"Me too" Nana said "Oh look at your coat! If only there were more women like you!"

Blair smiled and tried not to look too satisfied with herself. Yes, she had planned her outfit especially for this occasion. It was, after all, her daughter's first birthday. She walked to the kitchen and greeted Nate, Ivy and Sonja. She did not say a word to Dan, nor looked at him.

The loft door opened and Rufus and Lily appeared behind it. Nana pretended she hadn't seen them and took out of her purse a knitting pack. Lily, on her part, pretended she had seen neither Ivy nor Nana. And when Jenny and Eric followed, holding a bottle of champagne, Serena quickly dropped Ombeline into a high-chair and went to hug them.

Since everyone had arrived, the party could finally get started. They all gathered around the gigantic Tutti Frutti cake Serena had brought and placed a number-one-shaped candle in the middle of it. Of course, Ombeline wasn't completely aware of what was going on and didn't know how to blow, so Dan and Blair had to help her. They sat her in front of the cake and Blair leaned down behind the high-chair. Dan positioned next to her and was leaning down when Lily told him;

"Get behind Blair so I can get a better picture."

He felt Blair's body stiffen next to his. And he was sure the same thing was happening to him. However, he went to stand behind her. He bent over to get ready to blow and he had to put his hands on her waist not to lose his balance. He saw her fingers gripping the table slightly tighter.

"Smile at the camera first" Lily told them.

It took both of them great effort, but they did manage to produce a sincere smile. As for Ombeline, her eyes were fixed on the little flame dancing at the top of the candle.

"Perfect" Lily said. "Now, ready? Three, two, one…"

Dan and Blair blew the candle in unison and were followed by a round of applause and Happy Birthday wishes. The ambient joy got to Ombeline who started giggling and jumping up and down which only made all the others cheer more.

Rufus took possession of the champagne while Ivy passed glasses to everyone. Nate served Ombeline orange juice in one of her bottle. Dan was always amazed at how Nate and Serena took seriously their role as godparents to Ombeline. Nate always showered them with practical gifts for her and Serena never said no to an unexpected baby-sitting job. And now that Nate was about to become a father himself, his sense of responsibility toward Ombeline only seemed to grow more.

"Let's cut the cake!" he said joyfully.

Everyone agreed with him. Afterward, they gathered in the living room, Dan and Blair each on one side of their daughter, so she could receive her gifts. Nate and Ivy offered her a musical game to learn the names of common animals. Jenny and Eric offered her brand new coloring pencils. Serena offered her half of the entire fall/winter Petit Bateau collection for twelve-to-eighteen-month-olds. Nana offered a hat she had knitted with the number One on it. Blair gladly took it and made a mental note to 'accidently' drop it in the fireplace on Christmas. Rufus offered her a book of great people born on the same day as her and Lily offered her a framed picture of her with Rufus.

Blair got emotional when she took out her gift for her daughter, and it made Nate laugh. Ivy shushed him and everyone else leaned down with interest on the gift. It was a small pink bottle of perfume.

"Which one is it?" Serena asked, trying to get a better look.

"It's the 'Ombeline'" Blair answered.

"You made her a perfume?"

Blair nodded.

"What does it smell like?" Jenny asked.

"Apricot and mint" Blair said. Her eyes started to fill with water while she looked at Ombeline playing with her new pencils.

Dan smiled hearing this.

"Blair craved apricots when she was pregnant" he explained to the others.

"That's right!" Serena said "And why the mint?"

Blair swallowed and tried not to look at Dan.

"Well after Ombeline was born, the first thing I wanted to do was to rest. When I was sure everything was okay, I fell asleep. When I woke up, Dan was standing next to her crib and he was looking at her. He was drinking a Thin Mint Frappuccino."

The entire room was filled with emotion after Blair's reveal. Nana served herself another piece of cake with a smile and Dan put a hand on Blair's shoulder and squeezed it.

"So, your turn Dan!" Serena, seeing the annoyed look Sonja was giving them.

"Yes" Dan said, pulling something out of his pocket.

"A flash drive?" Eric chuckled before turning to Jenny "And we thought our gift sucked."

"It's not the flash drive" Dan replied "It's what's on it."

"And what is on it?"

"A short story" Dan said "I wrote it for her. It's the story of a friendship. It's a boy, Paulin, who lives on the moon and comes to earth to visit, and meets a nymph, Irina. I was hoping Blair and I could read it to her before she went to sleep tonight."

Blair smiled at him. At that instant, there was nothing that she wanted more than read to her daughter the story that her father had written just for her first birthday. That was the new way that Dan had to sweep off her feet. Whenever he had those inspired and loving gestures toward Ombeline she was reminded of why she once fell for him.

She got up and tightly hugged him. Dan responded to her embrace, a bit surprised, but with equal emotion.

"I'm sure she'll love it" Blair told him when they pulled apart.

No one else dared move or speak. The moment was perfect, and they could all see it. Rufus smiled at the ability of Dan and Blair to be real parents, even though they weren't together.

"I'm gonna go and check if she needs to be changed." Dan said, picking Ombeline up. She protested with moans when he took her away from her drawing.

The party went on for a few hours, and when Ivy admitted to be too tired to stay, everyone decided it was time to go. They all kissed Ombeline who seemed sleepy too and went back home, not before they congratulated Blair and Dan for reaching this turning point in their lives.

Dan walked Sonja downstairs. She was going to her apartment, since Nana was spending the night at the loft. When the cab they had called for her pulled in front of the building, she kissed Dan fiercely. Dan kissed her back, although his heart wasn't completely in the moment.

"I love you" she told him.

Sonja confessions of love had always been light and sincere. It seemed always so natural to her. But this time, it seemed desperate, as if telling it was the only solution to express what she was feeling. Dan saw a slight fear in her eyes, and he knew exactly where it came from. Usually, when Sonja felt insecure about Blair, he was always swift to reassure her. But this time, he couldn't. He wasn't even sure he wanted to. However, he gently stroked her cheek and said;

"I love you too. I'll see you tomorrow."

She simply nodded and got into the waiting cab. Dan didn't wait for it to take off and got back inside.

When he stepped into the loft, Nana, Blair and Ombeline were nowhere to be seen. He figured she had already settled herself in his room and the light coming from the nursery indicated him Blair's position. He pushed the door open and saw her putting a sleeping Ombeline into her crib.

"She fell asleep while I was bathing her" Blair told him. "Sorry, we'll have to read the story another time."

"Don't worry about it" Dan said, getting closer to watch his sleeping one-year-old-daughter. "I can't believe we made that."

Blair chuckled.

"Who knew that a combination of Blair Waldorf and Dan Humphrey could be so perfect?"

"Yeah" Dan said "She is perfect"

They both watched Ombeline for a moment.

"One day she'll graduate from high school" Blair whispered.

"Then from college"

"She'll get married."

"Have children"

"We'll be grand-parents" Blair's eyes widened at the realization.

"And she'll probably be the godmother of Nate and Ivy's grandchildren."

"Then she'll become President."

Dan barely restrained from laughing out loud.

"Are you making fun of me, Humphrey?"

"I'm sorry, Blair, but this is _so you_ to hope that for her."

"Can you think of a better future than becoming the first female president of the United States?"

"I don't know…" Dan shrugged "I mean, she's always making those weird noises. I think I can picture her as a singer. A Jazz singer."

"Oh this is _so you_ to hope that for her" Blair said, rolling her eyes.

"Well, we'll find out one day. Who knows, perhaps she'll simply end up teaching or something."

"So you'd rather for her to become like your fiancée than what her mother wanted. Thanks, Dan."

She pouted, but Dan knew she wasn't actually cross, so he let it slide. Blair turned to him.

"About Sonja" she said "Dan, I'm sorry for this morning…"

"No Blair, I'm the one who's sorry." Dan crossed his arms and looked down to his feet. "We're not together anymore. You are an adult and a great mother to Ombeline. I have no right to question your life decisions."

Blair nodded in appreciation and Dan could see water filling her eyes. Blair crying had always been one of his weaknesses and the importance of the day made him somehow moved too.

"It's the part where you tell me that I am a great father too" he said, hoping to lighten up the mood.

Blair didn't laugh. She simply smiled looking him in the eyes and swallowed the lump in her throat.

"The greatest" she told him.

Blair could see that it wasn't the answer he was expecting, and she was surprised that something so true could touch him so much. She knew he wanted to cry, and it made her laugh.

"Are you going to cry?" she asked with a malicious smile.

Dan shook his head, his face serious, and walked up to her. He put a hand on her waist and the other one on the back of her neck and pulled her up to him. He hesitated for about a nanosecond before pressing his lips against hers.

Blair was speechless. What was happening? It was as if she had missed several important steps of her life that had led her to this point. The point where Dan was kissing her with all of his heart, while their daughter was sleeping next to them, his grandmother in the adjacent room and his fiancée gone for only twenty minutes. She found the moment absurd. It made absolutely no sense to her. She put her hands on his chest and pushed him away.

When Dan looked at her, he saw hurt and confusion.

"What are you doing?" she asked him.

Dan simply couldn't answer. It seemed that he could never find the answers to her questions lately. He could never explain the reasons behind his acts, behind his thoughts.

"Why did you do this?" Blair asked him again.

He was going to answer but she held up a hand between them.

"It doesn't even matter. I have to go" Blair said, looking for her coat "You can drop Ombeline off at the penthouse tomorrow, Dorota will be here."

She left the nursery and Dan followed her.

"Blair, wait, I'm sorry."

"Don't, Dan" she told him, opening the loft door. "Just don't. See you."

And without another look for him, she left.

/

The following days were hard. About two weeks after Ombeline's birthday, Dan had to admit that Blair was avoiding him. She was never there when he picked up Ombeline, nor when he dropped her off. They never planned "family days" again, Blair was always too busy with Waldorf designs and the only time she was available weirdly coincided with his lectures or television interviews.

The first time he saw her since the kiss was on December 11th, when Ivy gave birth to a boy, Travis. Dan was just leaving the hospital after having congratulated Nate and Ivy for an hour when he spotted her. She was getting out of a town car, with a warm dressed Ombeline in her arms and Chuck following her. Of course he walked toward them, at least to kiss his daughter. Blair didn't pronounce more words than necessary for a polite encounter and took Chuck's hand, pulling him inside the building. Dan watched her go, with a mix of anger and disappointment, then went home to his fiancée.

After that day, he was determined to stay away from Blair as much as he could, and it seemed she had the same plan in mind.

However, along with a cold winter came the delicate matter of Christmas. The year before, Dan had agreed to spend Christmas at the Waldorfs to be with Blair and Ombeline. That year, they decided over the phone that Ombeline would spend Christmas Eve with Dan, and Christmas Day with Blair. She thought it was the perfect agreement. Dan always liked Christmas Eve better and it gave her time to prepare the big lunch she was planning for her four parents, Chuck and her daughter.

But ever since she had gotten with Dan two years earlier, nothing had gone as planned. She had never planned to fall for him. She had never planned to spend a summer with him in Naples and ending up loving it. She had never planned on getting pregnant with his daughter. She had never planned on getting back with Chuck.

And on Christmas Day, she hadn't planned on kissing Dan, again.

He had just dropped off Ombeline and Blair was still busy commanding caterers. Dan didn't know why he felt like it was the right moment to apologize to her, probably because it was Christmas. He took her to the kitchen so they could talk privately.

He told her what he felt. That he could never be fully over her. That they had gone through too much together for him to completely let go of her. That when she had told him that to her he was the greatest father, he couldn't think of a more beautiful compliment. That was why he had kissed her. Blair listened to him, but never spoke. She felt like she didn't have to because he was saying all of the things she felt for him.

"I miss that day when we were with Ombeline, just the three of us" he told her. "I miss seeing you being a mother to her".

At that very instant, Blair imploded with a sensational mix of feelings, positive and negative. He had no right to tell her things like that when he was about to get married to another woman, when she had finally gotten to this easy and simple place in her relationship with Chuck. But what he said made her feel happier than ever.

Just like he did over a month earlier, she walked up to him and kissed him without warning. Unlike what she did over a month earlier, he didn't pull away but closed his arms around her to bring her closer.

He was starting to realize how much he was still in love with Blair. He always knew he still loved her, but at that moment, he found himself actually falling for her all over again, mentally and physically. Pressed against her, her arms around his neck, his hands in her hair, their tongues sliding and grinding one against another, Dan felt something stir deep inside him. A suddenly awoken desire for Blair; a desire to be with her in many, many ways.

They were lost in their world, submerged by the emotions they were experiencing and they didn't hear Serena walk into the kitchen until she spoke.

"Good lord."

Blair and Dan practically jumped apart.

"Serena, what are you doing here?" Blair asked.

"I came to give my goddaughter her Christmas present" Serena said, crossing her arms. "What were you two doing?"

"We were talking" Dan said.

"Sure you were"

Serena seemed angry and Blair couldn't blame her. She had been the one on her side when Dan broke up with her, all that time ago. She had been the one on her side, promising she was in this with her when Blair had doubts about being a single mother. She had been the first one to sincerely wish her happiness with Chuck.

"I don't know what was going on there" Serena told them "But I hope that at least one of you does, because whatever this is" –she waved a finger between them "it's going to affect Ombeline's life. Try to not screw it up."

She left them there. Dan felt like a teenager who had got caught kissing the neighbor's daughter by his mother. He turned to Blair, with no idea on what to say. She was looking down to her feet.

"I think you should go" she told him "Thanks for bringing Ombeline."

Dan shook his head. She was not going to drive him away again. Not this time.

"Blair…" he started to say but she interrupted him.

"Go"

She had said it with a quiet voice, her eyes still directed on the floor. And in spite of the moment they had just shared, Dan didn't see anything else to do than respond to her request and leave.

/

In February, it had been one year and a half since they had broken up. Blair was spending a snowed-in-day with just her daughter. Bathing her, she thought about the fact that exactly two years earlier, she and Dan were conceiving the perfect little person in her arms. Ombeline's hair had grown wilder, just like her dad's. Even though they had Blair's shade, her curls were out of control and gave Blair a hard time every morning.

Ombeline could now recognize all the people she saw on a weekly basis. She even called Nate "Natie" and she had her own nickname for Serena, "Nenna". She had a fascination for the porcelain dinner service and now that she could walk about ten feet without losing her balance, her mother's bathroom was her favorite destinations. Blair had found her numerous times trying to reach for her make up. She loved drawing and talking. Sometimes, Blair could hear her in her room babbling at her dolls incomprehensible words.

While she was dressing her, she heard movement downstairs. Her body stiffened his voice rose in the stairwell:

"Hello"

She didn't answer but Ombeline yelped with joy at the sound of her father's voice.

"Daddy! Daddy!" she kept saying with her high-pitched voice.

Blair was almost angry with her for loving her father so much. Dan followed the voice and found them in Ombeline's room. His eyes met with Blair's. They hadn't exchanged one word since Christmas. He walked toward them and picked up his daughter when Blair was done buttoning her pink baby romper suit.

Ombeline instantly nestled her head in the crook of his neck and her little fists clenched on his sweatshirt.

"Don't let her fall asleep, she hasn't had lunch yet" Blair told him.

She wasn't looking at him, too busy folding baby clothes in the dresser.

"I'll take care of it" Dan said.

"What are you doing here, by the way?" Blair asked as he was leaving.

Now she was looking at him.

"I had an early meeting with Alessandra, and then there was the snow. I won't get a cab until an hour or so, so I thought that I could come to see Omby."

"Ombeline"

"She's my daughter too, Blair. I can call her whatever I want."

Blair pursed her lips and none of them looked away for a minute.

"Weren't you going to feed her?" Blair asked.

He didn't say anything but went to the kitchen. Once Ombeline was done eating her lunch, Dan took her to her room. He could hear music coming from Blair's room through the shared bathroom. She had probably locked herself up, waiting for him to leave.

He settled Ombeline in her crib and stroked her belly gently.

"Take a nap, now, darling. You'll see Daddy soon again."

Ombeline had already stopped paying attention to him and turned to her side, her eyes closed and her security blanket pressed against her.

Dan walked to Blair's room and knocked on the door firmly enough so she could hear. The music stopped and the door swung open. She looked at him, her arms crossed, waiting for whatever he had to tell her.

"Ombeline is taking her nap" he said.

Blair nodded.

"Thank you for stopping by" she said before pushing the door closed again.

Dan stopped her, putting his hand flat on the door.

"Blair, wait…"

"Go away, Dan…"

"Blair you have to tell me…"

"I don't have anything to tell you…"

"YOU KISSED ME!"

They were both startled by his tone. Dan hadn't meant to yell at her, it just came right out of him. Blair was watching him, almost petrified. Dan took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry" he said "I didn't mean to yell. But you kissed me, Blair. We have to talk about it."

"I don't want to talk about it, Dan"

Blair's hand left the door and she went to sit on her bed. Dan followed her inside and closed the door behind him.

"Why, Blair? After I kissed you, I came to give you explanations. Why can't you do the same for me? Can't you see how lost, how confuse I am?"

"And how exactly do you think I feel? I can't talk about it, Dan, because I'm scared. I'm scared that if we start talking about it, I'll beg for you not to marry her! I'll beg for you to come back to me."

Dan looked at her, his brows frowned.

"Is it what you want, Blair? You want me to leave her? You want us to be together?"

"I think so…" Blair wiped an angry tear on her cheek.

"Then why didn't you leave Chuck?"

"What?"

Dan took a step forward.

"If you've wanted to be with me, why didn't you leave him?"

"I don't…I…"

"Let me guess: you don't know, right?"

Dan shook his head and had an angry smirk.

"You wanna know what I think, Blair? I think that you are still a spoiled little girl. You don't know what you want, and you have to blame your inability to take decisions on other people. And I am done playing this game with you"

Blair stood up from her bed.

"Are you seriously telling me this, you?" she scoffed "Do I have to remind you that you kissed me first, even though you were engaged?"

"And it was a mistake" Dan snapped back. "I shouldn't have. And I won't ever again. I am going to marry Sonja next month, and I'll get rid of whatever leftover feelings I have from our relationship. It's time for me to move on."

He left the room and quickly went down the stairs. He had to get out of there. He didn't know Blair had followed him until she spoke when he reached the elevator.

"You know what's going to happen next, right?"

He turned to her. She was at the bottom of the stairs, standing straight and looking at him with rage.

"Once you get married, Chuck will have nothing to prevent him from proposing to me. And he will. I'll probably say yes. Then Ombeline will have rights on Bass Industries and she'll be evolving in a whole different world than yours. Is that what you want?"

"Are those threats, Blair?" Dan couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Those aren't threats, they are yet un-occurred facts. You know that's the way things will go."

Dan walked toward her again. His face was more serious than ever.

"I am going to marry Sonja, Blair. I don't give a damn what you do with your life after that. But let me tell you one thing: I may have given up on us for good, but I am never giving up on Ombeline. And if you make it your fight to raise her according to your terms, and only yours, I will fight back. I don't care how much it costs me. This is far from being over."

And with one, last look at her, he left.

She would not see him again until his wedding day.

* * *

**_I enjoyed imagining the second chapter a lot, and I can't wait to show it to you guys. Until then, I wish you a good recovery from the Season 5 finale. I haven't fully completed mine yet._**

**_Bisous!_**


	3. Unexpected

**_Here's the second chapter! I want to thank the beta reader for going over this so quickly!_**

**_I'll let you guys read and I hope you enjoy it!_**

* * *

Blair staggered on her way inside the penthouse. She looked at the clock on one of the living room walls. Two in the morning.

"Shit" she muttered.

She had a hard time walking up the stairs, the alcohol in her system combining with the five-inch heels she was wearing. She went to the guest room to find Elise asleep on the bed, with the baby monitor next to her head. Blair smiled. Elise was a complete angel.

On her way back to her room, she stopped by Ombeline's to see how she was sleeping. Much to her surprise, she wasn't. Ombeline was lying on her back in her crib, her eyes wide opened and focused on her mobile. When she saw Blair, she took out her pacifier and smiled.

"Mommy"

"Yes, it's me" Blair whispered. "Did you miss me?"

As an answer, Ombeline sat down in her crib and stretched her arms up so Blair could pick her up in.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there tonight. I was with your aunt Nenna. Your uncle Natie might be right about her, you know. She might indeed have a drinking problem."

"Nenna?"

"Yes, but don't worry, we'll take care of her. She is family."

Blair took Ombeline with her to her room and settled her on the bed while she was changing in her pajamas. Then, she nestled her daughter next to her under the covers.

"Now sleep" she whispered "You have a big day tomorrow. Your daddy is getting married!"

"Daddy" Ombeline repeated with a smile.

"Yeah, daddy. He doesn't love mommy anymore. That's why he is marrying someone else tomorrow. Are you excited?"

Even though she knew Ombeline didn't understand half of the words she was pronouncing, she took her closing her eyes to fall back asleep as a negative answer.

"Me neither" she said, before closing her eyes too.

/

It had been a year and seven months since they broke up. It had been about a month and a half since they last talked. It was March 30th, and it was a date Dan was not bound to forget, because it was the day he was getting married.

Spring was starting to show. The air was lighter, the city was brighter.

The ceremony was taking place on the shore of Stamford, Connecticut, because it was a place that highly inspired Sonja. And she wanted this day to be part of her art. Since she was Orthodox and Dan of Jewish decent, they decided on a strictly civil ceremony on the beach, just in front of the 19th century mansion the reception would take place at.

Dan was sitting in a room that had been designated to him until the beginning of the ceremony. Nate was sitting next to him, with four-month-old Travis tucked in a baby-carrier on his chest.

"How are you feeling?" Nate asked him

"Good" Dan simply answered.

"Nervous?"

"Not really."

Nate sighed.

"There are only two reasons for being this blasé on your wedding day. It's either because you're incredibly sure of yourself, or because you're having doubts. So, which one is it?"

"Shut up, Nate" Dan said.

"I have my answer, now." Nate chuckled before putting a hand on Dan's shoulder "Everything is going to be great, man. I promise."

Dan didn't say anything and kept looking straight ahead. A knock on the door drew their attention. Ivy appeared in a golden dress, matching her blond hair and contrasting her bright red lipstick.

"Hey, no women allowed" Nate told her.

She rolled her eyes and walked toward him.

"I need to feed your son" she told him, and then she turned to Dan.

"You look very handsome, groom."

"You look stunning, Mrs. Archibald."

"Yeah, you said it right. Her name is Archibald, so you can stop ogling her cleavage" Nate said.

"Stop saying nonsense and hand me Travis, will you?"

Nate took Travis out of the baby carrier and bumped their foreheads lightly.

"Bon appétit" he told him before passing him to Ivy with a wink. She shook lightly her head in disbelief.

"There's someone waiting for you at the door" She then told Dan "Should I let her in?"

"What part of no women allowed do you not get?" Nate asked, incredulous. "And they say I'm the dumb one."

"You - bite me. And Dan, I think you'd want to see her."

"You two realize that in about two months, you're going to have to use other language, right?" Dan asked them.

"We're enjoying the last part of verbal freedom we still have" Nate shrugged.

"So Dan, do I let her in or what?" Ivy asked.

Dan's smile faded. Of course he had expected Blair to come and talk to him before the ceremony. He just had no idea what they were going to say to each other. Apologies? Promises to stay a family? They had done it so many times that it almost didn't make sense anymore.

He nodded slightly and Ivy let herself out after kissing Nate, telling to someone "Go on" before leaving.

Dan didn't look at the door, still thinking about what his first words to her might be and shock ran through his entire body when he heard a voice completely different from Blair's.

"Hey, handsome."

His head jolted right up and his eyes were stuck on a light, beautiful and familiar smile.

"Vanessa" he said letting out a breath.

They looked at each other for a moment before she bit her lower lip, still smiling.

"Dan, I don't care what has happened between us. We haven't seen each other for almost three years now, and this is your wedding day, so I think it's the right time for a hug."

Dan chuckled and walked toward her to embrace her. He felt her body relax against his.

"It's good to see you" she said.

"Good to see you too."

When they pulled apart, Vanessa looked over at Nate and gave him a little wave.

"I've seen your son and your wife. Charlie or Ivy told me everything about what happened since I left. Lola? The dowry? Blair getting pregnant, then Sonja. You guys have kept yourselves busy."

"Barely" Nate shrugged "You know Upper East Side style."

"Has she told you about a novel called _Inside,_ which almost destroyed my social life?" Dan asked.

Vanessa took a deep breath.

"You know I'm not sorry for that."

"Yeah, and you're right not to be. It actually helped me in many ways."

"Good."

Dan wondered when was the last time he had actually seen Vanessa smile. Here she was, standing in front of him, looking so familiar but so different at the same time.

"I'm gonna go and thank Rufus for inviting me" Vanessa said, pulling him into a tight hug one more time. "I wish you a lot of happiness, Dan."

"Thank you" he whispered before letting her go.

She left the room with a last smile addressed to both of them.

"Damn" Nate said "Vanessa Abrams. Is it me or has Barcelona made her hotter?"

"Dude, you wife walked out of here about five minutes ago."

"You didn't answer the question" Nate fixed him with an insistent look.

Dan sighed.

"Definitely hotter, yes."

"I'm going to try not to associate that statement with the fact that I just saw Vanessa Abrams talking to Rufus."

Of course Blair would come to him when he least expected it. Nate and Dan both turned toward the door to find her standing there in a long, emerald dress, her purse clutched against her stomach.

"Wow, Blair!" Nate said looking at her from head to toe "You look amazing."

"Well, it is a special day, isn't it?" Blair said, offering him a smile. Then she looked at Dan and her smile faltered "Can we talk?" she asked.

"Go ahead" Dan said, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

Blair pursed her lips, realizing he wasn't going to tell Nate to go. He didn't want to talk to her privately. Fine. She cleared her throat.

"I thought a lot about what you told me last time. About me not knowing what I want. What you said hurt me, Dan. And it drove me into about two weeks of deep introspection. I kept asking myself that particular question, 'what do I want?' And I found the answer. I want my daughter to be happy. I want her to grow up into a wonderful woman, who has never lacked solid parenting. And if for that to happen, you have to marry Sonja today, then so be it. But I don't want to fight with you Dan. I want to make her happy with you. We're a team, remember?"

Dan registered all of the things she was telling him. He had expected another fight, another apology, and other empty promises. But Blair had done none of it. She had actually come to explain to him the things he had been unable to figure out until now.

"I think that Ombeline being happy is what we both want" Blair went on "And it's a good thing that we can allow ourselves to get involved with other people than each other because it would show her that even though we didn't find love together, we never gave up on it. As for your question about why I am with Chuck, you were the one who helped me find the answer."

Dan looked at her confusingly and Blair smiled at him. She took a few steps closer to him and took one of his hands in both of hers. She looked him in the eyes. Her gaze was soft, and caring.

"You left your copy of Blaise Pascal's _Pensées _at the penthouse; it seems like an eternity ago. And Dan, I sincerely wish you a happy life with Sonja. Perhaps the world wasn't ready for a Humphrey-Waldorf romance."

Then she leaned down to softly kiss his cheek and with one last smile, she left the room. Dan smiled, touching the spot where she had kissed him with the tip of his fingers.

"Hum…what just happened?" Nate couldn't help asking

"We had this fight" Dan answered turning to him. "I said some pretty bad stuff. I told her that she didn't know what she wanted and that she had thrown herself in a relationship with Chuck not even knowing why."

"Huh" Nate did "When exactly did you turn in such a dick?"

"I know" Dan said, laughing "I was pretty pissed. But she just gave me an answer. And it's a good one."

"That stuff about Blaise Something? Isn't he some old French writer?"

"Philosopher" Dan corrected "Among other things. And in his main book, he has a thought about what we should base ourselves on to find the Truth."

"The truth about what?" Nate asked.

"About everything" Dan shrugged, amused by his friend's sudden interest. "The ultimate Truth, the one with a capital T."

"Right" Nate said "And? What's the answer?"

"It's rather complicated. Pascal says that two things allow us to know the Truth. First our Reason, because we use it to analyze data and we can tell from that what is true and what is fake; but also our Heart, our feelings, because thanks to it, we're able to, let's say, tell the difference between dreams and reality; a dream is a perfect reproduction of the world we know so our reason would have every right to tell us it is reality. Pascal says that it's impossible to use one and not the other to find the Truth since our reason keeps us from getting fooled by our feelings; but that it has its limits and sometimes we have to embrace that other factor that is our instinct because only '_the Heart has its reasons…'"_

"'_...for which Reason knows nothing of.'"_ Nate finished, nodding. "And what Blair was trying to say was that…"

"I should trust her and her Heart. Since seeing Ombeline happy is our main and shared goal, I should trust her because even if they don't make sense to me sometimes, each of her actions would be naturally determined to reach that goal." Dan laughed when he saw Nate whistle in amazement. "How's your brain?"

"Honestly, my reason is showing me why my heart led me to hang out with Serena more than with you lately."

Dan laughed out loud. They were interrupted by another knock on the door. Sonja's brother, Mikko appeared.

"Hey, Dan, it's time."

Dan nodded and took a deep breath. Nate slapped him on the back.

"Let's do this" he told him.

The three of them left the room and walked to the beach. When Dan met Jenny in her purple bridesmaid dress, he had to stop and kiss her on the cheek.

"So cute" he told her.

She blushed and pushed him away "I'm going to be late to hold your wife's train." She was going to leave, but walked back to him and hugged him fiercely. "I love you" she whispered, before leaving for good.

"Dan! There you are!" Serena was walking toward them in a long, red dress, her hair held up in an elegant ponytail. "Where were you guys? Rufus is already standing at the altar like he is supposed to."

"Relax, Serena" Mikko told her "We've just seen Jenny, and I know Sonja. She won't be ready for another ten minutes or so."

"Did I miss the part when anyone asked you anything?" Serena asked him. "Chop-chop" she then told them, snapping her fingers.

Dan, Nate and Mikko obeyed and walked quickly to the altar. Dan shook the hand of the judge, an old friend of Lily, who was going to perform the wedding. He hugged his father and best man and then he stood there, facing the guests, facing his future. He was going to become a husband.

Fuck.

His eyes met with Blair's. She was sitting at the front row; Ombeline was on her lap, Chuck next to her, reading the program. She smiled at him sincerely and mouthed "Good luck". Dan nodded in response. The he heard the string quartet starting to play. He looked at the back of the alleyway and saw the Maid of Honor, Gwen, whom he had only met twice. Sonja was following, her arm tucked under her father's and her bouquet in the other hand. Dan smiled. She was beautiful.

Everyone had turned around to watch the bride walk up the alley but Blair remained facing the altar. Chuck saw her and leaned in to whisper;

"Are you okay?"

"Psh, not only I have already had that moment, but I was in a Vera Wang and walking toward a Prince. No one can beat me at this."

Chuck had a half-smile and kissed her softly on the lips.

Sonja finally made it to the altar, and her father went to his seat after shaking Dan's hand. Dan smiled at his fiancée and they both faced the judge. As he pronounced the first words, Dan had the urge to turn around and look at Blair one last time. He didn't, though. First, because it would have been highly inappropriate, and second because he didn't need to worry. Even though he was then starting a new chapter of his life, he knew that thanks to Ombeline, Blair would always be a part of it. That was the main of the many reasons why Ombeline was the best thing he had ever created.

/

It was already dark when Dan had another moment alone with Nate. They were both sitting on the beach with a bottle of Jack Daniels, sharing thoughts about the Finnish guests. The sounds emitted by Travis, back on Nate's chest, the waves crashing on the sand, and the music coming from the reception hall served as white noise to their conversation. Dan left one of his sentences hanging when he heard Ombeline's voice call him.

"Daddy!"

He turned around and was surprised to see Chuck walking toward them with his daughter in his arms.

"She kept asking for you" he told Dan "And Blair is in the middle of…actually I'm not sure if they were talking about shoes or scarves; but she told me to bring her to you."

Chuck put Ombeline on the ground and she toddled toward her father.

"Come and sit with us" Nate told Chuck.

"Thanks for the invitation, but I'll just get back inside." He was turning around to leave but Nate insisted.

"Come on, you're going back to listen to them talking about shoes? Stay with us, and Jack" Nate said, holding up the bottle of whiskey.

Chuck seemed to hesitate for a moment.

"If Humphrey doesn't mind…"he said finally.

"I don't" Dan said, pressing Ombeline against his chest "We're adults. Adoptive-step-brothers. It's cool"

"Does it mean I have to sit on the ground with you?"

Dan and Nate laughed and it made Ombeline laugh too. Chuck pushed out a deep sigh and reluctantly bent down and sat next to them. None of them talked for a while, they just watched the ocean quietly. Eventually, Ombeline drew their attention by wanting to get closer to Travis, peacefully sleeping on Nate's chest.

"Baby" she said, poking his tiny arm with one of her fingers.

"Yes, baby" Dan said "But he's sleeping, so you can't play with him."

Ombeline seemed disappointed and it made Nate laugh.

"Could this be the beginning of an everlasting love story?" he said.

"God, I hope not." Dan said "I'm not saying that being your son he's bound to be mentally restricted but…"

"Don't listen to that man" Nate told his sleeping son "He's jealous of you because you're cuter than his baby ever was"

"It's on, Archibald" Dan said holding Ombeline in the air and feigning her to attack Nate.

They both laughed for a while until they saw Chuck looking at them with raised eyebrows.

"Never thought I'd see the day when Nathaniel would have more in common with you than me" he told Dan.

"Yeah, well don't worry, man" Nate said "Sometimes, you're lucky to have nothing in common with us."

"Oh, I didn't have any doubts on that" Chuck said.

"I'm serious!" Nate said "We're married now. It means that this week, I'll have to meet with an interior designer to help Ivy decide which shade of yellow is good for the dining-room, then I'll have to make sure that I don't get home late more than twice; I'll have to wake up at least three nights to wait for her to feed Trav and put him back to sleep, and I still have a paper to run. What are you doing this week Dan?"

"Spending it with our families" Dan sighed "So they can get to know each other better. It means that I'll have to keep my mother away from my father and my stepmother, my stepmother away from my both of my grandmothers and both of my grandmothers away from each other. I'll also have to explain what kind of relationship I have with the mother of my daughter and how Sonja and I plan to handle it as a married couple about five times. Then of course, I'll have to make sure that Sonja's brother, Mikko gets his way with neither my little sister, nor my ex-girlfriend/stepsister."

"Hmm" Nate did "And tell us, Chuck: what are you doing this week?"

Chuck had a half-smile.

"Blair and I have a cocktail party for a charity I'm supporting. Then we are invited to the Jean-Paul Gaultier's launch party for his new fragrance. I'm leaving for Chicago on Wednesday for business, and I was going to take advantage of being there to catch a Cubs/Cardinals game. Then we're supposed to have brunch with Humphrey's extended family when I get back and go to the housewarming party of one of Blair's friends from Vogue."

"Fuck, I hate you" Dan said, putting his hands over Ombeline's ears so she wouldn't hear him curse.

"Tell me about it" Nate mumbled before drinking directly from the bottle of whiskey.

"Isn't marriage and fatherhood supposed to transform a man for the greater good or some shit?" Chuck asked.

"Oh it does transform you" Dan said, adjusting his daughter against him. "But not always for the greater good. Even since Ombeline started to walk, every piece of furniture in the loft has become a death trap to me. I am under a rush of adrenaline with every step she takes."

"And do you know how many times I've said the word "poo-poo" today?" Nate asked. "Six times! Six!"

Travis stirred awake on his chest and started to cry. Nate put a hand on his head to sooth him.

"Oh and they are heart-breakers too" he said "I'm serious, every time you think that you're having a nice, bonding moment with your kid, they'll be like 'dude, fuck you, I want my momma' and start crying until she comes and takes them."

"The tables turn, after a while though" Dan said "I remember this day when Omby wouldn't stop crying. Blair called me and told me to come over, and as soon as I took her in my arms, she stopped."

He placed a kiss on the top of his daughter's head.

"And then it was Blair's turn to cry" he chuckled. "She was persuaded that Ombeline didn't love her."

The three of them laughed at the anecdote. However, Travis was crying louder and louder so Nate resigned to take him to his mother and the three of them walked back to the reception hall. There were people dancing, people eating, people drinking and people laughing. And Dan could have never been prepared for what he saw next.

Sonja was the first one he spotted, because of the white dress. She was sitting at a table with Blair next to her, and Serena, and Jenny, and Vanessa, and Ivy, and Lily, and Alison and Grandma Henrietta and Nana. Serena seemed to be telling a funny story, since every other woman at the table was looking at her with a smile on their faces.

Nate and Chuck were also watching them with a smile.

"Actually" Nate said "I think we're pretty lucky"

"Yeah" Dan and Chuck both said.

"Contemplating the women of our lives?" Eric asked joining them.

"Where have you been?" Dan asked him.

"Oh you know, bonding with the new members of my family" he said with a smile, looking over at Mikko sitting at the bar.

"Well, here's something you can scratch off your list for this week Humphrey" Chuck said.

They walked toward the table started to overhear the women's conversation.

"And then Blair said…oh hi guys!" Serena said when she saw them.

All the women turned to them with the same suspiciously innocent smile. Nate, Chuck and Dan frowned.

"What were you talking about" Dan asked, passing Ombeline to Nana.

"Oh my, I hadn't seen what time it was" Ivy said standing up to take Travis in her arms "You must be starving, my poor baby"

"She's avoiding telling us something" Nate said, looking suspiciously at his wife "Every time she avoids something, she pretends to take care of him"

"Pretend?" Ivy repeated with raised eyebrows "If you only knew what breastfeeding really felt like."

"Amen" Blair said.

"Yes Nathaniel" Lily said "It is highly insensitive of you to say that".

"I thought you hated her for stealing Cece's money" Nate told Lily.

"Well, if you must know, women tend to bond over shared life experiences" Ivy said, and she was followed by a round of giggles coming from the table.

Nate looked at Dan and Chuck who both shrugged, powerless. Dan decided to come to his rescue by changing the subject.

"So, wasn't that first course amazing?" he asked.

Then all the women burst out laughing, hard and loud. Blair and Sonja were actually clutching one another and Serena was resting her head on the table. Alison was wiping a tear of joy on her cheek and Jenny stood up, trying to catch her breath. She put a hand on Dan's shoulder and told him.

"You are amazing. Please, never change. And now I have to go or I'll pee right here from laughing."

"What did I say?" Dan asked, as confused as Nate.

But Jenny just left, taking Eric with her.

"I don't like this" Chuck said, looking at the table.

"Maybe you'd rather stay home with a nice blanket" Vanessa told him, and another round of laughter followed.

"I think it's the best wedding I've ever been to" Serena said, using her hand as a fan.

"Oh just because you said that, I'll go get you girls two other bottles of champagne" Sonja said, standing up.

"Three would be perfect actually" Serena told her.

Nate opened his mouth to protest but Ivy put a hand on his chest.

"Come on, let's _pretend_ to take care of our son together."

"This isn't over" Nate said pointing at the table.

But it was over. They never knew what the women were discussing that day, and later in life, Dan, Nate and Chuck would agree that it was best that way.

Eventually, people started to leave; most of their guests lived in the city. Dan's and Sonja's families went to the bed and breakfast they had booked for the week and soon, it was just them, with Serena, Nate, Ivy, Vanessa Blair and Chuck; and of course the two sleeping, Travis and Ombeline. The music was still playing, but they were all sitting, tired and a bit drunk. Dan couldn't remember the last time he had that much fun. The fact that it was his wedding made the moment just more perfect. When a slow song started playing, Ivy put Travis in Serena's arms and then pulled Nate by the hand, leading him to the dance floor. All the others watched the couple dance in their bubble. It seemed like nothing could reach them.

Dan looked at Sonja sitting opposite to him at the table. She was drowsy, her eyes were closed, but she had a light smile on her face. Chuck stood up and said he was going to smoke a cigar outside, and Vanessa went with him. Dan kept looking at Sonja, thinking that from now on, she would be part of any of his adventures, good or bad. It scared him a bit.

His thought was abruptly interrupted when he felt something on his hand. Blair was on his right, with Ombeline sleeping on her chest. And her left hand was grazing his right one under the table, so lightly he wasn't even sure they were touching. He looked over at her, but her eyes were fixed on Nate and Ivy. He decided to do the same. His breathing was cut short when she really touched him and intertwined her fingers with his. However, as if he had never stopped doing it, Dan's thumb naturally began to stroke the back of her hand. He gave in to the feeling; amazed by the kind of sensation Blair always seemed to provide him with. Dan closed his eyes and focused on nothing else but their hands telling each other all the things they never could.

"Dan."

His heart skipped a beat and he opened his eyes. Blair's hand was now resting on Ombeline's back and his own felt numb, missing the feeling. He looked over at Sonja and breathed better when he saw her smiling at him. Her eyes were glimmering.

"We're the newlyweds here" she told him "We can't let Nate and Ivy be the cutest couple. Come on, let's dance."

He followed her, sensing Blair's eyes on his back as he did so. He held Sonja close as they started dancing together. She was looking up at him, completely enamored.

"I'm drunk" she told him and it made him laugh.

"Good" he said "Nobody should be sober on their wedding night"

"Oh my God, look at them" Sonja said looking over at Nate and Ivy next to them.

They were barely dancing anymore, much more occupied by each other's mouths.

"They've been married for a year and it's like they're still the best of friends. They're so funny together. I think I'm a bit jealous." Sonja said

"Please, they've got nothing on us."

Sonja giggled.

"You're sweet" she whispered against his neck, sending shiver through him. "What do you say we ditch all those people in order to properly celebrate our wedding?"

"I like the idea" Dan said.

He saw Serena walking toward them, still holding baby Travis.

"I think it's time for us to go" she said.

Nate and Ivy stopped dancing and Dan looked over at Blair. Chuck was helping her put on her coat and Ombeline was already in her stroller. Serena, Vanessa, Nate and Ivy hugged Dan and Sonja, congratulating them once more. Then Dan went to kiss his daughter goodnight, his stomach tight at the idea of not seeing her for almost a week. Chuck shook his hand and congratulated him.

"I'll go and check if the car has arrived" he then told Blair.

Once he was out of sight, Dan discreetly looked around to see if Sonja was nearby, but he couldn't see her anywhere. The only ones left in the room were him, Blair, and Ombeline in her stroller. They looked at each other with an awkward smile; then Blair took a step closer and wrapped her arms around him.

"I'm gonna miss you" she whispered as he responded to her embrace.

"I'm not going anywhere, Blair."

"I know" she shrugged as she pulled away. "But it's going to be different. And I'm gonna miss the way it was before."

"Blair" Dan took her hand in both of his, just like she had done with him earlier that day "I will always be there. Always. We're a team."

It made Blair smile. She nodded and turned around to start pushing the stroller.

"Have a good night, Dan" she said looking at him over her shoulder.

"Have a good night, Blair."

/

Over spring, Ombeline became unbearable. Blair loved her daughter more than anything, but the more she grew, the more Blair dreamt of dropping her at a fire station. Ombeline barely cried anymore; she would rather scream. And the list of things likely to upset her was growing every day. She never ate her peas, she was always reluctant to leave her toys for a bath and every time, she would try to escape by crawling under her crib.

Then they had to potty train her. Dan and Blair had agreed that they would both do it whenever they had her, but Blair couldn't bring herself to just wait for her daughter to go, so often she would beg Dorota to stand in for her. Dan found out eventually, and "the potty fight" would become the favorite subject of discussion amongst their friends. At least, until Nate and Ivy had a fight about the brand of diapers they each preferred Travis to wear.

"No" seemed to have become Ombeline's favorite word, and throwing food at people her favorite activity. Except at Dan. She never threw anything at Dan. He just had to give her one of those looks, and she would quietly put down her spoon.

Blair snorted at the thought as she was cleaning her favorite Chanel face cream that Ombeline had just splattered on the bathroom floor. Leave it to her daughter to decide to be out of control just the day Blair had dismissed Dorota and since it was summer, Elise was also unavailable.

Her cellphone buzzed next to the sink and Blair jumped up to catch it, her heart racing. Just as she was hoping, it was a text from Dan. It had been one year and eleven months since they broke up.

"_I just bought the edition of _Alice's Adventures in Wonderland _illustrated by Steadman_. _Jealous?"_ the text read.

"_Extremely_" she typed back with a smile. "_When are you getting here?_"

"_I'm already in Manhattan. Be there in 20._"

Blair sighed in contentment and then went to Ombeline's bedroom to tidy it a bit. Her daughter was taking her daily nap so Blair tried to be as silent as possible, not wanting to disturb the only peaceful moment of the day. Her phone buzzed again in her pocket. Another text from Dan.

"_Just saw the poster for that Broadway show you told me about. Seems fun."_

It was their new thing. They texted each other. Ever since his wedding, they had barely seen each other alone. They always met at brunches or parties, or when one of them was picking up or dropping Ombeline off at the other's house.

It had started when Ombeline had caught a bad bronchitis while Dan was on his honeymoon in Aruba. Blair was in the waiting room at the doctor when Dan texted her to get more information. Then he told her about a painting he had seen that had made him think of her. So she told him about an article she had read that had made her think of him. That was when it started. During the two weeks his honeymoon lasted, Dan texted Blair at least once a day to share a new discovery or a funny story. Sonja was barely mentioned in his texts, and Chuck was never in hers.

Blair tried not to get used to it, assuming that as soon as he would be back to New York, everything would go back to what it usually was. But it didn't. The day he got back, Elise was the one to bring Ombeline at the loft, since Blair had a meeting. She was pretending to listen to one of her financial advisors when her phone buzzed in her hand. She discreetly looked at it and was surprised when she saw the name tag.

"_Ombeline just arrived. How are you doing?_"

Blair hadn't answered right away. She had tried to focus on her meeting and the future of her company. But then she found it impossible to think about something else, so she texted back something polite hoping it would stop there. It didn't.

She felt like a teenager every time her phone gave a text signal. She hadn't left it out of her sight for almost three months now.

But better than her phone announcing a new text, the elevator doors chimed open. Blair barely restrained from running downstairs. When she got there, Dan was nowhere to be seen. Then she heard noises in the kitchen so she walked toward it. Dan was standing in front of the open fridge, a hand on the hip and his shoulder bag rested on the kitchen island.

"Well, make yourself at home" Blair told him sarcastically.

Dan turned around with a smile.

"I was hungry but all you have in there is baby food or skinny woman food"

"I think you are the only grown man who advocates the hatred of vegetables"

He walked closer to her and kissed her on the cheek before leaning back against the kitchen island.

"How are you doing?" he asked with a smile.

"Excellent. I hired a new designer yesterday, actually. If you could see her work, it's…"

Blair stopped talking when Dan bent down his head, feigning to sleep. She pursed her lips.

"Fine. You obviously don't care about me" she said, turning around to leave.

Dan's hand swiftly went to her shoulder and he made her turn back to face him.

"Hey come on, I never said that. So that new designer?"

Blair tried not to look too disappointed when his hand left her shoulder.

"Never mind" she said "How's Sonja?"

It was always Blair who would mention one of their partners first.

"Good" Dan answered without flinching. He obviously didn't mind talking about Sonja to her. "She's taking advantage of summer vacation to focus on her artwork. She took this picture of a little kid in Harlem, it's breathtaking, really."

Blair nodded. She hated the fact that Sonja was such a good artist. Blair could never compete against that. Not that she wanted to, anyway.

"I'll fix you a snack while we wait for the others" she said.

"You really don't have to do that" Dan told her

"I don't mind" she shrugged.

"Well, I have the perfect way to thank you" Dan said.

He reached inside his bag and pulled out a book. Blair leaned closer to look at it.

"You're giving me your edition _Alice in Wonderland_ just because I'm making you a sandwich?" she laughed.

"Well, not just because of that" Dan laughed along. "On my way here, I thought that it would be a gift suiting the occasion."

"And what occasion is that?" Blair asked

"Your un-birthday, of course" Dan gave her a little wink.

"Right" Blair smiled at him "Thank you, Humphrey" she says.

She never quite got over his family name, and he never quite got over hers. Even when they had shared so much, there were still times when he was "Humphrey" and she was "Waldorf", and nothing else.

When they were done in the kitchen, they went back to the living room and waited for the others. Chuck was the first one to arrive, and he had only walked three steps inside when Ombeline's scream could be heard from upstairs. Blair sighed and went to take her daughter so she could bring her back to Dan. Ombeline didn't show any sign of happiness at the sight of her father. She just pouted and said she wanted to eat. And when Blair gave her a cookie, she ate some of it and threw some at Chuck.

"Was it in Brooklyn that she learned to throw food at people?" Blair asked Dan. "Because it is definitely not from me"

"Oh so every time she acts like a little monkey it'll be my fault since I'm from Brooklyn."

"Precisely" Blair said. She crossed her arms and frowned "I think we just called our daughter a monkey"

Ombeline threw another piece of cookie at Chuck.

"Seems accurate to me" he said. Blair gasped in indignation and hit him on the shoulder.

The elevator doors opened and Vanessa stepped inside, followed by Nate and Ivy.

"Where's Travis?" Blair asked

"We lost him" Nate said.

"He is with Anne" Ivy said, rolling her eyes at Nate's joke "So, where is she?"

"She should be here any time soon" Blair said checking her watch. "Let's just wait"

They didn't wait long though. Serena arrived a few moments later. She seemed surprised when she spotted them and their serious faces, gathered in the living room.

"Hey guys. What's going on?"

They all looked at each other, not knowing who should take the first step. Blair hesitated to tell them that they should give up. She had a bad feeling about what was about to happen. She watched Nate walk closer to Serena.

"Serena…Blair asked you to come here today so we could all talk to you"

"Talk to me about what?"

"About…how you've been handling things lately…or for the past year."

Serena's glare flew over all of them in realization.

"Is this an intervention?" she asked.

"You know what?" Blair stepped forward "It doesn't matter. Guys let's just drop it, it was a silly idea."

Chuck put a hand on Blair's shoulder and pulled her back next to him. Watching them gave Serena confirmation for her suspicions.

"Oh my God" she said "What…why are you…you tricked me?"

"Serena, we just want you to listen to us." Nate said

"Why don't _you_ ever listen to me when I say that I am totally fine?" Serena asked

"Because I can see the contrary. We can all see it."

"You only see the parts you want to see"

"Serena" Chuck said "While I enjoyed having you as a partner in crime on poker nights very much, I have to say that Nate is right. You seem a little too attached to any alcoholic beverage lately."

"So what?" Serena said, throwing her arms "You're going to take me to a rehab center by force? Then you're going to help me find the right path to follow? I am so sick of you all always acting like you're better than me."

"What?" Dan asked. "Serena we've never…"

"You guys think I couldn't hear you ask Blair or my mom '_How is Serena? Has she found a job yet? I'm starting to worry about her.'"_

"We are worried, Serena!" Nate said loudly "Look at what you've become!"

"Ha, there it is" she laughed bitterly "Well I am deeply sorry that you wasted your time planning this. Now you can all go back to your important jobs that were given to you by your parents and grandparents, you can go back to your books and articles and babies, to your marriages and live a fully happy life, I won't be there to ruin the picture."

"Serena, please…" Nate tried to reason her.

"I can't believe you let them do this to me" Serena said, ignoring him and looking at Blair.

Then she turned around and left quickly. Once the elevator doors had closed, all the others turned to Vanessa.

"You know what you have to do" Dan told her.

Vanessa nodded pulling out her phone and dialed.

"Hey, Carter. There's something that we need to talk about."

It had turned out that Vanessa was back in the city just for a job. She was directing an investigative documentary about Politics in the state and city of New York and it was all part of Carter Baizen's scheme to take down his grandfather. Their plan was to try to talk to Serena first and if it was unsuccessful, they had to send her someone she knew well enough, but not closely and that would never make her feel vulnerable. When Dan heard that Vanessa was working with Carter, he thought he would be the perfect candidate. And when Vanessa mentioned that they needed an assistant at the production, Blair suggested they proposed the job to Serena, since she had already worked in that field.

"He's going to ask her out for a drink" Vanessa said once she hung up. "I'll go with him so we can talk to her about the job."

"Thank you for doing this" Chuck said.

"No problem"

"Hey guys" Nate called their attention. He seemed worried "Are we sure that letting her work with Carter is a good thing?"

"Don't worry" Blair told him "I've heard he is engaged to some Indian girl, he won't bother Serena that way."

"But what if he makes things worse?"

"It's kind of our only option, Nate" Dan said.

Ivy put a gentle hand on her husband's shoulder and he took it and placed a kiss on it.

"Come on" she said "Let's go home and shop for house decorations online"

Dan chuckled at Ivy's attempt to cheer him up with the most feminine activity ever. But he was surprised when Nate asked:

"Can we buy that orange rug for the study?"

"Sure, we can" Ivy said

"An orange rug for a study?" Blair turned up her nose at the vision in her head "My God, are you in love with him or something?"

"Kind of" Ivy answered with a smile while Nate was pulling a face at Blair.

Vanessa left with them and Dan went upstairs with a cranky Ombeline while Blair was saying goodbye to Chuck.

"Listen, Blair" Chuck took her hand in his "Why don't you come with me to Marseilles next week?"

"You want me to come on a business trip with you?"

"It won't be only for business. You can take a break from Waldorf Designs and as soon as my meeting will be over, we can take some time for us."

"What about Ombeline?" Blair asked

"She can come with us, or she can stay with Humphrey. That's for the two of you to decide."

Blair looked at Chuck, so imposing in his finest suit looking at her with mesmerized eyes. She couldn't help but smile. He was her Chuck.

"You've changed so much" she told him, stroking his cheek.

"We've all had to" he said, his face serious "I don't want to screw things up this time, Blair. When I see Serena, I realize that we have to become aware of our luck before it's too late."

"Hey, we've made it for at least a year this time, remember?"

"I know. I just hope that we have many, many left."

They were both leaning for a kiss when Ombeline's screams rang out from upstairs. Blair looked up and pushed out a deep sigh.

"I have to go; Dan won't be able to handle this one."

She kissed Chuck lightly on the cheek and hurried upstairs. Dan was bent down in Ombeline's room, desperately trying to dress Ombeline who was putting up a terrible struggle.

"She spit cookies on her outfit" Dan said when he saw Blair coming their way "So I wanted to change her and she started…"

"She hates this dress" Blair said taking it from Dan's hand. "Just take the red skirt with the little yellow shirt"

"Blair, we screwed up somewhere" Dan said as he was opening a drawer in the dresser.

"She's got a character, it's nothing. I was probably worse when I was her age."

"I don't doubt that." Dan said handing her the clothes and sitting beside them on the floor. "I just wish she would have taken from me on that part. Really all I needed was Cedric and The Lion King VHS"

Blair managed to dress Ombeline quickly, then she gave her a doll and sat next to Dan with her.

"Would you like to have Ombeline for next week? The whole week?"

"Sure" Dan said "Why? Are you going somewhere?"

"Chuck has a meeting in Marseilles and he wants me to go with him."

Dan looked at her stroking Ombeline's hair.

"Seems fun. What are you guys going to do there?"

"Relax. Visit." Blair shrugged avoiding his eyes.

Dan crossed his arms and looked at his feet. He knew he shouldn't, but he had to ask;

"Do you think he'll propose to you there?"

Blair wasn't surprised by the question because she had thought of it too. She knew that Chuck would propose to her that year. They had managed to set a good pace in their relationship, between their businesses and Ombeline. And since Dan was now married, it was time for her to move forward with her life too. Besides, wasn't it what she had always wanted? She was a mother and the CEO of a fashion company. Getting married was the obvious next step, and there wasn't any candidate more suitable than Chuck Bass. They would reign on the Upper East Side and they would be one of the most glamorous couple of the world. She would become the woman she had always dreamed of being.

"I don't know" she answered "Maybe"

"If he does, will you say yes?" Dan looked straight at her this time.

"I will"

Dan nodded. There was nothing else to say. They were living the last moments of "them". Although, there was another question going through his mind.

"Do you think he'll want children?"

Blair looked at him, confused, and then she looked at Ombeline playing with her doll.

"I don't know. We've never talked about it."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up, it was inappropriate" Dan said nervously.

He ran his hands over his jeans, trying to relax. Blair noticed how he was behaving and she understood.

"Does Sonja want to have children with you?"

Dan looked at her.

"She's mentioned it five times since the wedding. But I don't know if I want it."

"Why?" Blair asked, her breath itching.

"Because every time I think about it, I think about Ombeline and I remember how great it is to have Jenny or how Serena and Eric joke about things no one else can understand. I'm sure I want that for Ombeline but…I see how great you are with her and it's like no one else could ever be the mother of one of my children but you."

Blair stopped breathing for about three seconds.

"Dan, you can't say things like that…"

"I know, I know. Believe me I have tried not to think it but I can't help it. It's…it's just one of those things you can never explain".

He brushed his face with his hand, pushing out a deep sigh.

"I should go" he said, standing up.

Blair stood up with him and gave him Ombeline.

"I'll bring her back tomorrow at noon" he said.

"Dan…"

Blair put a hand on his arms to stop him from leaving.

"I have a confession" she said. She swallowed the lump in her throat "I know that things didn't work between us in the end, and that maybe having Ombeline is the only thing that still connects us together. And I know that you're married now and that you are happy. But I do wonder sometimes what life would have been like if we had managed to work things out. Where we would be living, what kind of habits or traditions we would have. Because what we had was one of a kind, and even if I'm with Chuck now, I just wanted you to know that what I felt for you, I could never feel for someone else."

Dan had always been aware that there was no one like Blair Waldorf. Even back when they hated each other in high school, he had to admit that she was unique. And later she had managed to bury herself deep in his brain, under his skin and make herself a place in his life where no one could ever replace her. No one ever looked at him like she did. No one had ever loved him like she did. And he had never loved anyone like he had loved her. Like he still loved her sometimes, when he was reminiscing their time together.

Blair was standing in front of him, silent, waiting for him to react. So he did and he leaned down in an uncomfortable angle so Ombeline wouldn't get crushed between them when he kissed Blair softly on the lips. Blair's eyelids flew shut; she wanted to rediscover the feeling of kissing Dan. The kiss was short, but Blair didn't have the time to open her eyes before Dan dove in for another one, much more powerful. For a moment, it was like they were both having a glimpse of what their lives should have been. The two of them kissing, with their daughter between them.

Ombeline obviously didn't like both of her parents not paying attention to her, so she broke the moment by hitting Dan on the head with her doll.

"Ouch!" he said pulling away from the kiss.

"No! Ombeline, I already told you not to do that" Blair snatched the doll away from Ombeline who started crying.

"Yeah, we definitely screwed up somewhere" Dan said, stroking where his daughter had hit him.

"Well, we have at least one year to try to fix it. If we can't do it, we'll send her live with Dorota. A little piece of the eastern European up-bringing style should put her back on track."

Dan chuckled, remembering a day when Dorota had yelled at her son in Polish. He had been unable to decide if he was amused or scared.

"I'm gonna go before she gets worse" Dan said "Or I'll never find a cab".

"Okay"

They looked awkwardly at each other. None of them wanted to talk about what had just happened. It was just a kiss like they had shared before. No big deal. Never mind the fact that he was married.

Dan left with a red Ombeline in his arms and a wave of peace and quiet overtook the penthouse. Blair didn't even feel terrible for enjoying being away from her daughter. About fifteen minutes after Dan had left, she received a text from him:

"_I have a confession: when I found the edition of _Alice in Wonderland_, I already knew I was going to give it to you."_

/

Chuck proposed to Blair at the beginning of fall. It had been two years and two months since she and Dan had broken up.

Just like she had planned, she accepted. A week later, they were announcing it to everyone during brunch at Lily and Rufus. Dan held up his glass with everyone else for a toast. He openly wished them happiness and Chuck thanked him for that we he got a moment alone with him. Dan shook his hand thinking that Chuck Bass was going to become the stepfather of his daughter. Life couldn't have taken a strangest turn.

Serena had accepted the job offer, but still refused to talk to any of her friends besides Vanessa. And even then, it was only for professional reasons. The first time she talked to Blair again since the intervention was at that particular brunch. They made apologies and hugged and cried a bit. Witnessing the scene, Nate went to talk to Serena but she just rolled her eyes at him and walked away. He was no Blair.

Dan grew a beard. Sonja hated it, Blair loved it. It made him look so much older and wiser. She told him once when he was picking up Ombeline at her place.

"I wish you had done it when we were still together" she said.

Dan simply smiled and left so he wouldn't do something he might end up regretting. Or worse, not regretting.

Then it was November 5 again. Ombeline was two years old. Blair organized the party at the penthouse with the same guests as the year before, adding Chuck who had cleared his schedule, Vanessa, Alison and baby Travis.

Serena brought a Tutti Frutti cake again, and spent most of her time cuddling Ombeline and ignoring Nate.

"Look at this angel" Nana said her eyes on Ombeline. "She looks so lovely. She probably gets it from her mother"

"Thank you, Nana" Dan said.

"Like you didn't know" Nana told him "Just look at Blair and look at you"

"We get it, Nana. Blair is beautiful and classy and I look like I've been living in Brazilian slums, you've said it yesterday."

"Such a wise woman" Blair smiled at Nana while passing by with a tray of appetizers.

She put it down on the table and went around Dan's chair on her way back to the kitchen. He felt one of her fingers graze slightly the back of his neck, rendering him to shudder. He discreetly looked at her walking away. Right before she disappeared into the kitchen, she turned around and offered him a light smile.

"It's not your fault, though" Nana told Dan "Have you seen your father?"

Jenny put a gentle hand on her father's shoulder while Alison gave him an apologetic look.

"That's enough for today, Mom" she said.

Nana settled more comfortably in her chair, then analyzed Chuck sitting next to her.

"Who are you?" she asked not remembering the brief times they had met. "I like your suit. Daniel, why can't you take example on him? Look at how he dresses"

"With all due respect, Dan and I already have much more connections than we should" Chuck told her "I don't think we need to take it to the next level. Besides, he couldn't pull off that kind of clothing. And to answer your first question, I'm Chuck Bass."

He took the old lady's hand to place a light kiss on it.

"My name is Ella" she told him "But you can call me Nana"

"I can't believe it" Sonja mumbled to Serena "She still has me call her 'ma'am'"

"I would really appreciate for you to stop seducing the women in my life" Dan told Chuck.

"Relax, I haven't even talked to your mother" Chuck said before turning to Alison "Although it is a shame, because I have to tell you, your Tarte Tatin was the best I've ever tasted."

Alison blushed a bit and Dan shook his head in disbelief.

Ombeline understood that everybody was gathered in her honor and perhaps it was a fluke, but she put on the best behavior she had for months. Dan and Blair were pleasantly surprised, but understood that it was much more than what they thought when she said:

"Mommy, I want cake"

"You can't until you blow the candles" Blair said "Just wait for a bit"

Ombeline looked at her, disappointed, then walked toward Serena.

"Nenna, I want cake" she said.

"You forgot the magic word" Serena told her with a smile.

"Please?" Ombeline said her eyes hopeful.

"I'm sorry sweetie, but your mother said to wait."

Then they all watched walked toward Chuck and ask him the same thing. Blair rolled her eyes and went to squat down in front of Ombeline.

"If you keep asking that, you won't have any" Blair told her "You will be the only little girl in the world who didn't get to eat her birthday cake. Understood?"

Ombeline started gradually to cry and she went to rest her head against her father's leg.

"Maybe we should give her a little piece" Dan said, looking at Blair "She's been so good lately."

"You are weak, Humphrey" Blair told him.

"It's like Rufus and Jenny" Alison said, looking sweetly at her son.

The party went on and soon it was time to cut the cake. Ombeline stood excitedly on a chair in front of the cake and watched in awe the sparkles the candles created. She didn't even listen to all the others singing for her. Then Blair and Dan stood on each side of her to show her how to blow and helped vanquish the little flames.

They all laughed at Ombeline dismissing her spoon and eating the cake with her hands.

"Dan, can you help me with the flutes?" Blair asked, pointing to the kitchen "And take a chair"

Dan followed her with one of the chairs and helped her position it under the cupboard she wanted to reach. He held the chair still while she stood on it with her heels and every time she bent down to put a flute on the kitchen counter, her butt would get closer to his face. Dan tried to look away until she was done. She took his hand to steady herself while she was getting back down, but halfway through it, one of her heels slipped against the chair and Dan caught her just in time.

Their breathing was heavy and Blair's chest was pressed against him, her hands rested on his shoulders. Dan was maintaining a tight grip around her and when she tried to look him in the eyes, Blair saw them fixed on her lips.

"What are you doing?" he asked her in a whisper.

"Nothing. What are _you_ doing?" Blair asked too.

"I'm not doing anything"

"Then why are your hands on my ass?"

Dan immediately pulled away when he realized he was indeed touching her butt. He coughed into his fist.

"I didn't want you to get hurt" he said.

Blair offered him a devious smile and turned her back to him, placing the flutes on a silver tray. Dan could hear the voices of his family and friends in the dining-room, but his eyes couldn't tear away from Blair's ass. It had always been his favorite part of her body. He knew how cliché it was, be he simply couldn't help it. He had memories of it in her red skirt when they went to the Nanette film forum; he had memories of it in her yellow dress when she took him to the Met Ball; he had memories of it in a Brazilian bikini bottom when they were in Italy; he had memories of her waddling it while dancing just for him; he had memories of her rubbing it against…

"Daddy?"

Dan's entire body startled and looked down to Ombeline at the entrance of the kitchen. She was holding up a fist full of cake.

"You want cake?"

Dan tried to forget his previous thoughts and bent down toward his daughter with a smile.

"Thank you" he said before opening his mouth so Ombeline could drop the piece of cake in it.

Then she wiped her fingers on his cheek and neck laughing at the result.

"Ha ha, very funny" Dan said, tickling her. "Now go ask Nenna to clean you up while I finish helping your mother"

Dan watched his daughter go and when she was out of sight, he turned toward Blair who was watching him with a smile.

"Tutti Frutti suits you" she told him.

Dan chuckled and walked to the sink to wash his face. His hand was halfway to the tap when Blair caught it and pulled him close to her. He watched her take the icing off his face with her fingers and lick it slowly.

"Blair, what are you doing?" he asked again.

"Nothing" Blair shrugged innocently.

Then she dipped her head toward his neck and pulled out her tongue to lick the icing off it. Dan contained a groan but didn't pull her away. Blair put her hands on his hips and brought her mouth up to his ear.

"I know what you were looking at earlier" she whispered.

Dan smirked.

"So what?" he said, making just enough space between them so he could look her in the eyes "Do you think I haven't noticed what effect the beard has on you?"

Blair didn't say anything but let him kiss her gently in the neck. She could hear the voices of her friends and family, but it didn't make her want to stop Dan. On the contrary, it made her want him more. She closed her eyes and barely had time to give in to the feeling when they heard Serena's voice.

"Again?"

Dan and Blair pulled away swiftly and tried not to look too guilty. Dan was going to say something but Serena went before him.

"You know what?" she said in a tired tone "I didn't see anything. But you guys are lucky it's always me"

She left the kitchen and Dan looked over at Blair. She was already carrying the tray of flutes.

"Will you take the bottle of champagne, please?"

/

It was wrong. Even though Chuck had already left with all the others, Sonja was still downstairs with Serena. Dan and Blair were supposed to be Skyping Eleanor and Cyrus with Ombeline, but the truth was that their daughter was in her room playing with her dolls while Blair was perched on her dresser in her room, Dan between her legs, kissing her like there was no tomorrow.

"Dan, we can't" she said in a gasp when he started kissing her neck.

"I know" he whispered against her skin "But it's too good" he added pressing his fingers into the flesh of her thighs, bringing her closer.

"Yes" Blair moaned at the sensation "No" she said before pushing him away.

Dan stood breathless in the middle of her room, his hands on his hips.

"What the fuck is going on?" he asked Blair.

"I don't know" Blair said, descending from the dresser "But we can never act on it"

"I think we just did"

"Not fully, I mean" Blair rolled her eyes "And you're going to have to shave this beard"

"Then you're going to have to wear appropriate clothes"

"Are you saying I dress like a whore?" Blair frowned and crossed her arms

"Of course you would hear that" Dan looked up before getting closer to her "What I'm saying, Blair, is that if you keep wearing skirts as tight as this one when I'm around, I might lose it."

Blair blushed and Dan couldn't help but think she was adorable.

"Okay" she said "So this never happened?"

"Agreed"

They shook hands and stopped by Ombeline's room to take her on their way downstairs. When they arrived in the dining room, Serena looked at them both with one eyebrow up.

"Are you guys ready?" Sonja asked standing up.

"Yeah" Dan said "Let's go home".

Blair and Serena kissed Ombeline goodbye. While Dan was walking toward to elevator with Sonja, he saw in the corner of his eyes Serena grab Blair and frantically take her to the kitchen.

When they arrived at the loft, Sonja started to cook them dinner. Dan was playing with Ombeline in her room when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

"_Serena just left. I noticed that you forgot Ombeline's stuffed penguin._"

Dan frowned and looked at his daughter talking to her dolls. She didn't seem particularly nervous at the lack of Mr. Freezoo by her side.

"_I thought she could sleep without it now_" he texted Blair back.

"_Perhaps she can't. Perhaps you need to come and get it ASAP_"

Then Dan understood. His mind went into overdrive and before he knew it, he was grabbing his coat and telling Sonja he'd be back soon.

When he got inside a cab, his phone buzzed again.

"_So?_" the text read.

"_On my way"_

"_Let yourself in when you get there. I'll probably be in the bath_"

Dan pushed out a deep sigh as he read the text. His life had certainly taken a strange turn. Because even if falling for Blair had been possible, even if being the father of her daughter hadn't been planned; the only thing Dan Humphrey could have never imagined doing, was starting an affair with Blair Waldorf.

* * *

**_Fair warning, the next chapter is going to have a lot of smut but I think it'll be really fun to read anyway. I actually want to finish writing it really bad because I can't wait to start on the fourth chapter haha. _**

**_What did you guys think? I'd love some feedback!_**

**_Bisous!_**


	4. Wrong

**_Hello! This chapter is slightly longer than the others - at least it felt like it when I was writing it - but I hope you'll enjoy it anyway._**

**_Thank you for all your kind reviews, I was really touched. Hope I won't disappoint you with this one._**

**_This chapter wasn't beta-ed so I apologize for any mistakes that must've sneaked in!_**

* * *

When Sonja kissed him sweetly, Dan tried to respond with the most similar passion. When she pulled away, she smiled at him and stroked his cheek, her nose reddened by the cold winter air.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay on your own? I mean you could always take a break and join me."

"I would love to" he said sincerely "But I really have to make this deadline or Alessandra is going to kill me."

"I'm going to miss you so much" she said, kissing him softly.

"No you're not. You're going to spend your time baking with your mom and hunting with your dad. You won't even remember my name once you'll set foot on Finnish ground."

Sonja laughed and kissed him again. They heard the announcement for the boarding of her flight.

"It's time" Dan told her. "Call me on your New Year?"

"Definitely"

They kissed again, longer because it was their last kiss before a week. Then Sonja reluctantly pulled away and with one last squeeze on his hand, she went to take her flight to Finland. Dan stayed at the airport until he saw the plane take off. Then he took a cab to Blair's so he could pick up Ombeline for the week.

When he arrived, he was surprised to find more people than expected, and people he didn't know. They were all dressed smartly and surrounded by cocktails and elaborated appetizers. He spotted Ombeline sitting at the bottom of the stairs with her little green coat on and a red bow in her curls. She was holding with her a little bag -probably full of dolls- and Mr. Freezoo. When she saw Dan coming her way, she instantly stood up and walked toward him.

"Daddy, let's go" she said.

Dan picked her up and kissed her on the cheek.

"Wait, I have to see your mother first"

"Let's go" Ombeline insisted with a whiny voice.

"Just wait, Ombeline"

Dan started to look around for Blair and when he didn't find her downstairs, he resigned to go up to her room. He found her there, but not alone. She was standing in the middle of her room wearing a cocktail dress and high heels and Chuck was standing in front of her, with his hands on her hips. They were both smiling and talking really low. Dan knocked on the door and they turned to him.

"I just wanted to let you know that I picked up Ombeline" he told Blair.

She looked at him and nodded.

"Good. She was being really difficult and rude to the people downstairs."

"I think she hates that kind of thing" Chuck said, showing downstairs with his chin.

"You mean random people walking around her house in fancy clothes and preventing her from playing wherever she wants?" Dan asked "Yeah, she is being difficult for a two-year-old, I guess."

Blair pursed her lips at Dan's comment. So it was starting. They disagreed on what their daughter should be disciplined about. It wasn't much of a surprise though; they obviously had had very different up-bringing. Still, Blair had hoped for long that their differences would be their strength, but it was pointless. Their differences were the reason they had been broken up for two years and almost five months.

"We can all guess where she took that from" Blair said.

"I'm going now" Dan said "See you next week."

As soon as he left the penthouse, Ombeline became brighter and merrier. She started telling him about the day she had spent with Dorota and Mr. Freezoo. Dan listened to her religiously, not wanting to miss one bit of her daughter's imagination. She always invented the craziest story for her toys. Once, she even refused to touch Mr. Freezoo for three days, because she was mad at him for going to space without her.

When they got to the loft, Dan immediately changed her into her pajamas and he made them two hot chocolates before sitting next to her to watch The Little Mermaid. When she fell asleep, her little body curled up against his, Dan thought that it was a feeling he would never get tired of. She smelled like apricot and mint. He hadn't had a lot of time with Ombeline since her birthday and he wanted to enjoy this week with her to its fullest. So he took her to bed with him that night, instead of putting her in her room.

It was three in the morning when someone knocked on the door. It took Dan a while to realize what it was, and he turned to Ombeline to check on her before getting out of his bed and walk to the door.

"Who is it?" he asked.

He heard a moan in response and it convinced him to open the door. Serena was standing there with her shoes in her hand and her hair messy. Her eyeliner had produced black trails on her cheeks and her bottom lip was bleeding a bit. Her eyes were red and glimmering.

"Jesus Serena. What happened?"

"I fell" she shrugged "I think I screwed up"

Dan took her to the bathroom and made her sit on the border of the tub while he attempted to clean her up. He listened to her telling him how she had ended up at his place. She had been at an event with Lily and Rufus. When she started to get a bit too drunk, Lily told her to go before she would do something embarrassing. So she listened to her mother and went out with people she had met in the streets. She couldn't remember exactly what she had taken. The only thing she knew was that breaking her heels while getting down the stairs of a nightclub had been her wake up call. She had taken a cab and had given the address of the loft because she couldn't go back to her mother's in such a state.

Dan gave her one of Sonja's pajamas and waited for her in the living room. When she joined him, tears were filling up her eyes.

"Why am I like this, Dan?" she asked. "I don't know who I am anymore"

It was like they were seventeen all over again. Dan pulled her into a tight embrace and told her what they had all been telling her.

"We're here for you, Serena"

As soon as she calmed down, Dan took her to his room and laid her next to Ombeline. Then he went to settle on the couch with a warm blanket.

Blair arrived at seven in the morning, as soon as she received Dan's text.

"Where is she?" she asked him.

"Sleeping with Ombeline" Dan yawned while pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"I thought she was better. She looked better" Blair sighed taking the cup he was offering her.

"It's obviously going to take more than a new job to fix whatever issues she's having."

Blair nodded with a haggard face. Dan saw her and stroked her cheek with a finger.

"We'll find a solution. Don't worry"

Blair nodded again and smiled at him this time. Dan turned to put the coffee pot back on its stand and he shivered when he felt Blair's hand sneaking under his shirt.

"Don't" he said turning back to face her. Her eyes were dark and her smile devious. "Serena is about ten feet from us."

"So what?" Blair hands roamed from his back to his torso. "She's seen us before. Twice."

"Yeah, but it's not the same thing. And what about Ombeline?"

"She's just like me, she could sleep until noon even if there was a marching band in the living room."

Blair lightly scratched his chest up and down.

"Kiss me, Dan. I know you want to."

God, he wanted to. For the past month, he had craved Blair's kisses like they were oxygen. It electrified him, a kind of bittersweet feeling that kept him wanting more and more. But the guilt he felt afterward was too powerful. Especially when they kissed at the loft where he had been building a home with his wife.

Once they did more than kissing, but as soon as Dan's hand had left her underwear, Blair had cursed herself for letting it happen. Still, the following day, she didn't protest when he pressed her against the fridge in her kitchen, his tongue invading her mouth.

"Dan" she moaned, kissing him from his neck up to his lips.

Dan grabbed the hair at the back of her head and violently pressed her lips against his. He leaned back against the kitchen counter, pulling her against him. Blair wrapped her arms around his neck and buried herself deep in the moment. She couldn't believe how good and normal it still felt, even when they had been apart for so long.

When they broke the kiss for air, Blair rested her forehead against his, breathing loudly.

"I'm still mad at you for the way you talked to me yesterday" she said

"I kind of don't care" Dan answered, placing another kiss on her lips before pulling away.

He went to the bathroom and Blair sat behind the bar, cross by his behavior. He always acted so distantly after their kisses. She pulled out her cellphone to tell Chuck she was cancelling lunch. She would rather spend the day with Serena. She was planning on taking her to the spa and then spend the rest of the day at the penthouse, eating macaroons in front of Clueless.

Blair had just hit the "send" button when she felt Dan's lips against her neck. He was breathing heavily against her skin and each flick of his tongue behind her ear gave her a hard time to contain her moans. She stopped trying when she felt his hands on her breasts. Blair grabbed the back of his head and pulled him against her, wanting him closer. His hands roamed over her breasts for a while and soon one of them started going down her body to reach under her skirt. He wasted no time in placing his hand where she longed it to be. Pressing against her center in circular motion, Dan started to feel his own arousal growing in his pajamas pants. He had just slipped his hand under the fabric of her underwear, bringing his fingers to her already wet flesh when they heard the door of his room open.

Dan jumped away and Blair put her skirt back in place. Serena appeared, groggy. When she saw Blair, her face brightened a little.

"Did Dan make you come?"

Dan tried to hide his amusement at the ambiguity of the question –and how accurate it was to the situation –behind a cough. Blair completely ignored him.

"He texted me, yes" she answered Serena.

"It really wasn't necessary" Serena said.

However, she went to hug Blair.

"How about we spend the day together?" Blair asked, stroking her hair "I miss you"

"I would love to, B, but I have a couple of things to go over with Carter."

"How is it going by the way?" Dan asked, handing her a cup of coffee.

"Pretty good. I like it, at least. It challenges me a lot."

Dan smiled at her. Sure it would take time before Serena returned to her old, passionate, smiling self. But the importance was that they could see she was getting there, one step a time.

"I'm gonna go home and change before going to work" Serena said putting down her cup "Dan will you call me a car?"

She went to his room while Dan took his cellphone out. As he dialed the car service, he watched Blair walking closer to him and she slid one of her hand under his shirt once again. She stroked his stomach, pulling a little on the hair she could encounter there. She could feel him shiver against her. Blair stopped right before Serena reappeared, wearing the clothes from the night before.

"I'll leave with you" she told her without looking at Dan.

Blair knew things were starting to get dangerous, and the fact that Sonja was on her way to Finland made things more tempting. However, she wasn't ready for _it_ to happen. Right before leaving, she went to kiss her sleeping daughter and waved simply at Dan as she was passing the door.

Dan tried not to be disappointed by her departure. It was probably best this way. Who knew what could have happened if Serena had left them alone? Earlier in the kitchen, Dan had felt ready to push her to her limits, just so he could hear her breathe his name. It was sort of an addiction to him. Things would have definitely gone out of hands, and he was barely getting used to the idea of kissing another woman than his wife –although Blair being that other woman sometimes rendered the situation easier.

/

Two days later, it was New Year's Eve. Elise and Dorota were therefore unavailable to baby sit Ombeline; Blair had a meeting and Serena was helping Lily planning the party she was about to host. It only left Nate and Ivy for Dan to take his daughter to. So he dropped her off and Ivy convinced him to leave Ombeline there for the day, so she could play with Travis a little. He then went to a painfully and unnecessary long meeting with the permanent staff of Details Magazine.

When he got back to the loft, Blair was there, sitting on the couch. She was wearing a pale pink dress which made her look quite severe and her long locks were falling on her shoulders. He loved when she wore her hair down.

"Do you still have a key?" he asked her.

"Of course I do. Where is Ombeline?" Blair stood up and walked toward him while he was dropping his coat and scarf.

"Nate's."

Blair nodded then crossed her arms.

"How was your day, so far?" she asked.

"Not bad. What about you?"

They were both standing in front of the couch, two feet away from each other. Dan didn't dare get closer.

"Gossip Girl seems to think that your day was much better than 'not bad'" Blair told him.

Dan frowned and pulled out his phone to log on the infamous blog. There was a picture of him with a small blonde woman walking in the streets and laughing.

"I can't believe she stills follows me around. My life has become so boring." Dan logged off and looked at Blair. "That girl was just an assistant at Details. She was getting coffee at the same place as I was."

He watched Blair walk closer to him and taking his unbuttoned collar between her fingers. He could smell her; he could feel her breath on his neck.

"I don't know why, I always assumed you preferred women with dark hair" She placed a kiss on his neck.

"Not always" Dan said "Although there is one particular dark-haired woman I cannot stop thinking about."

His hands went around her waist and pulled her tightly against him. Then he grabbed her ass and leaned in for a passionate kiss. Blair started moving, grinding her entire body against his. When he leaned her back to kiss her neck, it brought the lower part of her body closer to his and she could feel the evolution of his arousal on her thigh. She grinded against him and it made him moan, sucking flesh harder into his mouth.

"You're going to leave marks" Blair warned him.

But he ignored her. He kept licking and sucking relentlessly on the same spot. He wanted to see her pink skin purpled by his treatment. His hand went under her dress, roamed over her stockings and garter belt and started massaging her ass. Blair brought one leg up around his waist so she could feel him pressed against her while she unbuttoned his shirt.

Her dress was unzipped and his shirt was on the floor when the ring of the house phone jarred them from their moment. They were close enough to see on the ID tag that it was an out-of-country number calling.

"Shit" Dan muttered.

"Don't answer it" Blair told him.

"I have to. I already missed her call yesterday."

Blair felt his body leave hers and she watched him pick up the phone.

"Hey. How are you?" he asked not looking at Blair.

She was fuming. Dan always made it seem as if he had to protect his relationship more than she had to protect hers. After each moment they had shared over the last month, he always gave her the guilt act. Blair was pretty sure Dan considered that Chuck deserved to be cheated on, while it was the worst thing he could do to his oh so perfect wife.

Dan felt Blair's murderous glare lingering on him and he couldn't focus on his conversation with Sonja, so he left for his study. He closed the door behind him and sat behind his desk.

"_My mother is really disappointed you didn't come with me, you know_"

"She would have made me gain about thirty pounds with all her meals and cakes" Dan said

The door opened and he saw Blair enter. She looked him in the eyes with no particular emotion on her face and started to take off her dress. Dan shook his head and held a hand in front of him to indicate her to stop. But she didn't. Instead, she kicked off her heels while Sonja was telling him about her mother's latest recipe.

"_Oh and Helsinki is so beautiful under the snow. I really wish you were there to see it yourself_"

"I wish I was with you too" Dan said, almost mechanically as he watched Blair walk closer to him in her underwear.

She turned his chair so he would face her and kneeled in front of him, stroking both of his thighs up and down. Dan reached to push one of her hands away, but she gave him a strong pinch.

"Ouch!"

"_Are you okay?_" Sonja asked with a chuckle.

"Yeah, I… bumped my toe"

Blair was starting to unzip his pants and Dan tried to take a moment to think about what was going on. It was fucked up.

"_You are so clumsy. I miss that. I miss you."_

"I miss you too" Dan said, barely restraining a gasp as Blair's hand cupped him over his boxers.

"_Hey so guess what happened yesterday?_"

Sonja started telling him a story about her little brother but Dan couldn't focus on it. The only thing he was pretty much aware of was Blair pulling out his already hard shaft from his boxers. Her eyes locked with his as she put her hand tightly around it and started to stroke slowly, up and down.

He wanted to take her hand away but he couldn't. She was genuinely starting a fire within him. His left hand was still holding the phone to his ear, while his right one was gripping at his desk, trying to hold on to the last bit of sanity he still had. However, that bit flew away when Blair pulled out her tongue and gave a long, slow lick up his entire length. When it arrived on top, she circled him with her mouth and he had to cough to dissimulate his moan.

"Hey, I'm sorry, I…I don't feel very well"

"_What's wrong?_"

"I must've eaten something. Oh God" he hissed as Blair was cupping his balls in her hand. "Listen, I'll call you tomorrow, ok?"

"_Alright, then_" Sonja seemed disappointed "_Get better. I love you"_

"I love you too" Dan said, seeing and feeling Blair smile around him.

He hung up and threw the phone on the desk. Then he pushed Blair away with both of his hands and pulled her up by the shoulders. Her mouth was red and swollen; it was the sexiest thing he had ever seen. Dan grabbed her hair just above the back of her neck and pushed her against the desk.

"I'm tired of you trying to break my marriage" he whispered.

Blair sat on the desk and spread her legs so he could settle in between.

"Are you going to do something about it?" she asked

Dan's mouth immediately landed on her neck and his hands reached to the clip of her bra, releasing her breasts from their confines. He took a moment and gazed at them. They still looked perfect, just like he remembered. He could hear her moan when his hands settled over them softly, playing with each bit of flesh his fingers could find. At that instant, neither of them had any doubt about what was about to happen. And neither of them seemed to want to put a stop to it.

When her hand went back around his shaft, he decided they had avoided the moment long enough and made quick work of unclipping her stockings and divesting her from her underwear.

Then they stopped moving, looking each other in the eyes, telling this way things they usually couldn't. Blair pulled his head to hers and kissed him softly on the lips. Dan responded to her kiss and took her by the hips as he made his way inside her.

It was like going back in time. She felt exactly the same to him. Dan wondered how it was possible, since she had had Ombeline. But Blair still felt like she did all those years ago. She was still his Blair. He stood still, buried deep inside of her in the best angle possible. Then Blair started moving her hips shyly and Dan got the message. He started thrusting inside of her, his eyes never leaving hers. Setting up a slow pace, they were rediscovering each other's bodies.

Blair was literally panting. Dan felt too good inside of her. She liked the way his hands were resting on her hips, casually. She liked the way his mouth started to nip behind her ear, maliciously. She loved that taking her on his desk still made him harder than any other place. Blair leaned back on one elbow and steadied her balance by placing the other hand on his shoulder.

"Faster" she asked

He obeyed. He didn't want to tease her; they didn't have time for that. All he wanted was to see her skin pink and hear her moan. And she did. As Dan was picking up the pace, thrusting faster, he watched Blair's head fall back, her mouth open as she let out the most delicate sound of pleasure.

Dan laid Blair all the way on the desk and then leaned down above her to grip at the opposite end. He made his motions harder, watching Blair's breast bounce with each of his thrusts. Her mouth couldn't seem to close anymore. She rested under him with a hand on her eyes as moans turned into screams when Dan pounded harder and harder. She could feel her release building inside of her. Dan could feel it too, and he made his best to keep a steady rhythm to pleasure her without coming himself.

Then Blair's hand went up his back and grabbed the back of his neck. Her eyes were closed, her brows frowned, and she leaned up to put her body flush against his as she reached the peak they had been heading to. Dan felt her clench around him and slowed up, thrusting smoothly into her climax. Then when he was sure she had come down from her height, he picked up the pace again. It didn't take long for Blair to start moaning again and this time Dan joined her. When he felt really close, he kissed her on the lips then on the forehead against which he grunted from the release he was experiencing inside of her.

She let him rest on top of her, a thousand thoughts going through her mind. She tried to remember the last time they had had sex. Almost three years before. Blair couldn't believe she had lasted three years without feeling Dan this way.

Dan hoisted himself up on his hands and looked her in the eyes.

"Tell me you're on the pill"

Blair stopped breathing. He was doing it again. He was ruining the perfect moment they were having by thinking about life. He could never really detach himself from the outside world. Perhaps she was more unscrupulous.

"I'm not" Blair said "I'll go to the drugstore and buy a morning after pill"

"Fuck, Blair" Dan pulled out of her and zipped his pants. "How can you not be on the pill? Don't you and Chuck never…?"Dan felt like throwing up just thinking about Chuck and Blair this way.

"Please" Blair said as she put her bra back on "He's Chuck Bass. We use condoms."

"It's not completely efficient Blair"

"Neither is the pill. Do I need to remind you under what circumstances we had Ombeline?" Blair put her underwear back on and fixed her garter belt. "You're not my father, Dan. I can decide how I want to protect myself."

He could see that she was upset and even though he thought not taking the pill was utterly stupid, he didn't want to fight with her. Not when they had just reunited. Dan walked toward her and helped her zip her dress up. Then he put a gentle kiss in her neck and wrapped his arms around her. He heard her push out a deep sigh.

"It was just like I remembered" he whispered in her ear.

Blair shivered, turning around to face him.

"For me too" she said.

They kissed again for a few minutes, not ready to let go of the other. However, time was passing by and they both had things to do before each of them went celebrating. So Blair put her coat back on and commanded him to kiss Ombeline for her.

Dan let her go after one last embrace. They would not talk again for a while, with the exception of one text Blair received in the early morning of January 1st.

"_I can't stop thinking about you. Happy New Year._"

/

Blair finished applying her make up while listening to Serena and Ombeline playing tea party with Mr. Freezoo. Like each spring since she was born, Ombeline had developed a new aspect of her personality. That year, since she knew more than four hundreds words, Ombeline had become curious. She was always eager to understand and know more.

"Mommy, come play with us!"

"Just a second, darling. Please tell Nenna to dress you"

She hated that Ombeline had Dan's creative fiber. He was always ready to invent a new story with her whereas Blair could never really meet the standards. When Blair arrived in Ombeline's room, Serena was just finishing putting a bow in her head. Blair sat carefully next to them on the floor, trying not to wrinkle her dress.

"You still haven't told me who your date for tonight is." Blair told Serena who smiled.

"You'll see soon enough. So, have you and Chuck agreed on a date for the wedding yet?"

"No" Blair shook her head "He wants a spring wedding, I want a fall wedding and I'm the bride, I should be deciding."

"Yes but it's your second wedding" Serena reminded her.

"Insignificant details"

"Can we play now?" Ombeline asked.

"Sorry, darling, but the guests are starting to arrive. Let's go downstairs."

The three of them made their way to the living room to find Nate and Ivy already there, kissing and laughing as caterers wandered around them to finish setting up the party.

"You have been married for two years now. Don't you ever get pass the honeymoon phase?" Serena asked them.

Nate left Ivy to grab Serena by the waist and whirl her round. He then did the same with Blair and took Ombeline in his arms to tickle her.

"What's with him?" Blair asked.

Ivy smiled looking at Nate.

"We went to the doctor today" she answered Blair. "I am three months pregnant."

Blair and Serena both gasped with their hands on their mouths. Of course, they went to hug Ivy and congratulate her.

"Do you think it'll be a boy or a girl this time?" Serena asked.

"I don't know" Ivy said with a content smile "I think Nate wants a girl real bad."

The elevator opened and Chuck appeared. He went directly to kiss Blair on the lips then turned to Nate who told him the great news. As Chuck congratulated them, more guests started to arrive. Soon enough it was Dan's turn to get out of the elevator, Sonja holding his arms.

As soon as their eyes met, Blair's breath was cut short. It had been two years and eight months since they broke up. Dan and Sonja walked toward the group and greeted everyone.

"I missed you" Dan discreetly whispered to her ear while giving her a light hug.

Blair shivered. The last four months had been a rush of adrenaline caused by their affair. They hadn't slept together again since New Year's Eve, so the tension between them grew each time they met. Most of the time, it had been stolen kisses during brunches and parties, sometimes it was dirty texts, e-mails, voicemails.

Dan would visit her at work when he had a meeting in Manhattan. They ate lunch at her desk; their hands would sometimes meet. Then right before leaving, Dan would pull her into a deep kiss, rendering the both of them completely breathless.

"So what are we celebrating again?" Sonja asked "I find it hard to keep track sometimes."

"Waldorf Designs just opened a new store in Madrid" Serena told her. "And also, Ivy is pregnant with her second child!"

"What?" Dan's eyes widened "Guys, it's amazing; congratulations" he gave Ivy a hug and hit Nate gently on the back.

Then he picked up Ombeline who was tugging on his pants to catch his attention.

"So you're going to have a new friend" Dan told her. "Travis' little brother or sister should be arriving in a few months."

"Can I have one too?" Ombeline asked with interest.

Serena and Ivy exchanged an awkward look while Nate tried not to look at Chuck or Sonja. Dan's eyes went from his wife to Blair, then back on his daughter.

"Maybe you will" he told her.

"I want a big brother" Ombeline said "Like Jenny"

It lightened the mood and Blair walked toward them with a smile.

"I'm afraid it's too late, darling" she said, kissing Ombeline on the cheek.

Some people interrupted them to congratulate Blair, but they remained most of the time together, chatting.

"Oh there he is" Serena said, looking toward the elevator.

Blair understood she was talking about her date, so she turned around, eager to meet him. Blair frowned her eyebrows when she saw Carter Baizen coming their way.

"What the fuck?" she couldn't help saying

"No-no word" Dan and Ombeline told her in unison.

"She's right, though" Nate said watching Serena taking Carter by the hand and bringing him to them.

"Hey, so Ivy, Sonja, this is Carter. And you already know the others."

"Hi everyone" Carter said with a half-smile.

"Aren't you engaged?" Blair asked him bitterly.

"I was" Carter said "But we ended it about a month ago"

Then probably to avoid an interrogation, he squat down in front of Ombeline.

"You must be Ombeline" he told her, shaking her little hand "You know, I almost didn't believe in your existence, when Vanessa told me about who your parents were. Hey, you wanna see something cool?"

"Stay away from my daughter" Blair told him.

But Carter ignored her and started random movements with his hands and finally, a daisy appeared. Ombeline's eyes widened and she took it excitedly in her hands.

"Magic! Magic!" she kept saying.

"This is so sweet" Ivy said "Why don't you guys like him?"

"He is an ass and a con-artist" Nate answered her.

"And look at his hair" Blair added.

"Are you Nenna's husband?" Ombeline asked Carter.

"We'll see" Carter told her with a wink "For now, I'm just her boyfriend."

"What's a boyfriend?" Ombeline asked him.

"It's like your mother and Chuck" Carter told her. "They like each other, and they laugh together and sometimes they kiss"

Blair was astonished that Carter Baizen was the one having this conversation with her daughter. Even though Ombeline had never asked her that before, Blair was pretty sure it wasn't a stranger's duty to explain that kind of things to a kid. However, it didn't seem to bother Carter at all. Blair opened her mouth to put him back into his place, but Ombeline interrupted her.

"Mommy and Daddy kiss"

No one talked for a few seconds. Carter looked up to Blair whose face was red then Dan whose mouth was slightly open and went back to Ombeline, stroking her cheek.

"I don't think so, sweetie."

"They do. When they say hello"

Sonja turned to Dan while Chuck turned to Blair. Serena came to their rescue.

"She must be referring to when Dan kisses Blair on the cheek to say hello. He does it with me too."

"Yes" Ombeline said "Daddy and Nenna kiss too. Is he her boyfriend too?"

"Ha" Carter chuckled "Come back and ask me that in sixteen years. You'll have a good laugh."

"Okay I think it's enough. Ombeline, go play to your room"

Blair shot Carter a disdainful glare and took her daughter by the hand to take her upstairs. She made sure that Ombeline was comfortable with her dolls before she left the room. She was walking back to the stairs when she heard someone whispering her name while she passed in front of her bedroom. Blair turned to the left and saw Dan sitting on her bed.

"Are you crazy?" Blair asked closing the door behind her "What if someone sees us?"

"I don't care" Dan stood up and went to put his hands on her shoulders "I missed you"

Blair softened. She took his hands in hers and intertwined their fingers.

"I missed you too"

"I told Sonja I was going to the bathroom" Dan said "And I know I can't kiss you because it'll mess up your lipstick. But I really needed to see you alone"

Blair nodded and settled against him for a hug. Dan held her tightly around him, breathing in her scent.

"I dream about you" he told her, not breaking their embrace "I dream about the two of us"

"Dan…"

"I dream about making love to you, again and again"

Blair's breathing got heavier and her hands started moving against Dan's chest.

"I want you, Dan" she whispered.

Their moment was broken by the door opening. Carter appeared and smiled when he spotted them.

"Serena just asked me to come and open this particular door" he said "I understand you daughter's misunderstanding earlier"

"Go away, Baizen" Blair said.

"Actually, I think it'll be less suspicious if you guys come back with me"

Dan and Blair looked at each other.

"He's right" Dan said "We should go"

"Always the wise one, Humphrey" Carter said "And don't worry guys. I didn't see anything"

Dan and Blair reluctantly followed him downstairs where they went to sit next to their respective partners.

"I can't believe Ivy is pregnant again" Sonja told Dan "I wonder how they'll handle it, with Travis getting older and her plays. She'll probably have to stop performing for a year. At least, if I ever get pregnant, I'll still be able to take pictures"

There was another one of Sonja's messages to hint him that she wanted children. Dan did his best to avoid the subject, because he didn't want to hurt her. But he didn't feel ready for another kid. Ombeline was great, and he felt like it was enough for now. Besides, they had only been married for a year and they were still young. They had time.

"Hey Dan" Serena drew his attention "Rufus told me to tell you that he needs to see you tonight. He says it's about Jenny. We can head there after the party"

"Do you know what's going on?" Dan asked, his brows frowned.

"He just said that the two of you need some time alone to discuss it" Serena shrugged.

Dan turned to Sonja.

"Is it okay if you go back home alone after the party?"

"Sure" Sonja squeezed his arm for support. "I hope it's nothing bad"

"Me too" Dan said.

And the party went on. More people congratulated Blair, two photographs took pictures of her with Chuck at the bottom of the stairs. She smiled and gave thanks and laughed with the others. But her heart ached. Dan was talking with Sonja, his arm around her and the sight disgusted her. She didn't want him to smile at anyone but her. She didn't want him to whisper into anyone's ears but hers. She didn't want him to love anyone but her.

Blair couldn't tell if it was due to their physical reconnection or if she was recovering sight after a long period of blindness, but it had become clear to her that she loved Dan. She was in love with him; she could feel it in every part of her body, in every layer of her soul.

The problem was that Dan wasn't a liar and he wasn't cruel either. So if he looked Sonja the way he did, it was certain he had strong feelings for her.

When it was time for them to go, all of Blair's friends hugged her –Dan a little shorter than the others –then left. Blair went directly to put Ombeline to bed, trying not to think about Dan and Sonja.

For his part, Dan waited for a cab to come and pick up Sonja before he started walking toward his father's with Serena. They had walked a few steps silently when Serena put a hand on his arm to stop him.

"Okay" Serena said "Rufus didn't actually say he wanted to talk to you. I'm the one who does."

"What?" Dan asked.

Serena gave him a knowing look and he understood. She wanted to talk about Blair.

"What is going on with the two of you?" Serena asked point-blank

Dan didn't answer and started walking again. He was craving for a drink, but he knew he couldn't take Serena to a bar. She followed him.

"Dan, talk to me" she insisted "Are you guys having an affair?"

Now that he was hearing someone saying it out loud, the situation became way too clear. He and Blair were having an affair. They were betraying the trust of two people that had done nothing but love them –at least for his part. Was there really any emotional or sexual connection that could justify that kind of behavior? He was doing exactly what his mother had done to his father. What he had hated her so much for.

"Dan" Serena stopped him again and moved to face him "I want you to hear something. This situation is fucked up. Imagine what effect it would have on Ombeline if you guys get busted. Public scandal, divorce, seperations; she is two years old"

Dan refused to look at her. She was putting his worst fears into words.

"But in spite of that, I believe in you and Blair" Serena said. "Ever since the day Ombeline was born, even though you guys were broken up, I could see that you and Blair make sense, as a family. So if you're able to tell me that it won't hurt Ombeline, that you guys will be careful, I'll pretend not seeing you turn around to go back to her tonight"

Dan looked at Serena. She was supporting it. She was actually supporting him and Blair seeing each other. No wonder she started dating Carter Baizen.

"So? What do you decide?" Serena asked him.

"I can't say it out loud" Dan said

"It would make it too real" Serena nodded "Well guess what? It is real, and you're going to have to start dealing with it. So Dan, what do you decide?"

"I'm going to see Blair" the words came out of his mouth more easily than he had thought.

And as soon as he pronounced them, he felt lighter. He was going back to Blair.

"Then what are you waiting for?" Serena asked him with a smile.

He smiled back and kissed her on the cheek before running in the opposite direction. When he arrived at the penthouse, he shouted her name. Blair looked at him from the top of the stairs, she was already wearing her pajamas.

"Humphrey, are you crazy? You're going to wake up Ombeline."

Dan climbed the stairs, two steps a time to join her faster.

"Is Chuck here?" he asked.

"He left right after you guys. What's going on?" Blair asked him, worried.

Dan didn't need words to answer her. Instead he leaned down and kissed her with a feverish passion. Blair instantly kissed back, wrapping her arms around him. A few seconds later, Dan broke the kiss and rested his forehead against hers.

"I don't understand" Blair said with shortened breath "I thought you were supposed to be with Rufus."

"There is no one else I want to be with right now, Blair. It's you, only you."

He kissed her again because it was too good. They had a hard time reaching her room without breaking the kiss, but they made it.

Blair helped him take off his jacket and shirt. Her pajamas followed with his pants. She wasn't wearing a bra and Dan's hands flew immediately to her breasts as he started kissing her again. The feeling overwhelmed her and she had to lie on the bed otherwise she would have collapsed in his arms. Dan lied above her and never stopped kissing her. Blair was meeting again with the Dan she had known all those years ago. Just like before, he want insistent, he was confident. He was her Dan.

When he started grinding his erection on her center, Blair started to see stars. She prayed that nothing interrupted them this time. It was just the two of them apart from the world.

It came a point when Dan couldn't bear the fabrics of their underwear between them. He clumsily took them off and positioned himself at her entrance, hard, and more than ready. Blair could feel heat radiating from his body. Right before he moved, she halted him.

"I still don't take the pill" she said "We should use a cond…oh!"

She couldn't finish her sentence because Dan had entered her, his entire length buried inside her warm den. He moaned at the feeling and looked her in the eyes as her started moving slowly. He pushed inside and pulled out with a torturously slow pace, not because he wanted to tease her, but because he wanted to feel every inch of her. They never broke the eye-contact and as Dan leaned down to kiss her on the lips again; they both became aware that it wasn't just sex. They were making love.

Dan could see that she was on the same wavelength, so he never sped up. He could feel her gradually become wetter around him and her moans grew louder. He kissed her to muffle them, because he didn't want to wake up Ombeline. Blair's nails dug into his back and as she bit softly his lower lip. She escaped from his lips only to gasp his name. It sent a wave of pleasure through Dan. He wanted to hear it again so he gave a hard thrust.

"Dan!"

And another one.

"Ha! Yes, Dan"

Then Dan couldn't anymore. He needed to find his release, but not before he gave her hers. So he hoisted himself up on his hand and started to thrust faster, stronger and if it was even possible, deeper. Her legs wrapped around him, her hands resting on his hips so she could feel his muscles stiffen under the effort. Dan watched her as she closed her eyes and opened her mouth to scream out her pleasure as she went. It drove him closer, and his motions became erratic, he was unable to maintain a steady rhythm. When she felt him getting tense, Blair spread her thighs to welcome all he had to give her. She could actually feel him shoot and leak inside of her. And even though she had just experienced a powerful orgasm, she could have sworn nothing had ever felt better.

She gave him time to catch his breath, and when he could process a coherent thought again, Dan rolled off her, releasing her from his weight. They stayed there for a moment, kissing, cuddling, even laughing a little.

Then they took a bath together; just water, no soap or bath salt so he wouldn't smell like her when he would go back home to his wife. She walked him to the elevator. They had to summon it three times, because they weren't ready to part yet.

When he finally left, Blair went back to bed. She could scent him on the sheets. His disgusting cologne, the one she hated so much. She wrote herself a note to remember to buy a morning-after-pill again, then drifted off to sleep, enveloped by his smell.

/

Then they started again with the lunches, the texts, and the kisses. Every time Blair thought of him, it was like she was on fire. She shamelessly thought of him every time she had sex with Chuck.

One of them would always go to the other unexpectedly. Once, she found him at his loft in the middle of the day. She knew Sonja would be teaching and that he would stay home to work. So she delegated her work for the day and drove to Brooklyn in a cab. Ten minutes after she arrived, Dan was sitting on the couch, his shirt on the floor and Blair was above him, riding him ceaselessly, to the point where he had to bite her shoulder to control the sensations and wait for her.

Another time, he found her at her penthouse. He knew Chuck was in Switzerland for a business trip and he left Nate a little earlier than planned at the bar to join her. Ombeline was asleep and Blair was eating, still wearing her work clothes. He didn't waste time. Dan stood her up and lifted her so she was sitting on the dining table. He thanked the warm weather that allowed her not to wear tights while he was pulling down her laced thong and kneeled in front of her.

She started to moan at the first lap of his tongue against her. Dan licked and sucked and licked again, driving her insane. She seemed to be in a complete different world, a world where pleasure and lust were the state religion. Dan spotted her purse on the table, next to her plate and stretched his arm to reach inside it without leaving her moist flesh. He grabbed her cellphone and looked at her. She had seen him moving and confusion could be seen all over her face.

"What are you doing?" she asked between gasps.

Dan didn't answer but gave her the phone. She took it and on the screen she could see he had dialed Chuck. Her eyes widened but before she could press the little red button, Chuck's voice could be heard. She looked at Dan and he was looking back. His mouth left her center only to whisper to her to talk to Chuck. She could see his mouth wet with her fluids as he said the words. While his tongue went back to work, she held the phone to her ear.

"_Blair?_"

"Yes" she tried to sound normal "Just wanted to know how you were doing"

"_It's four in the morning here, Blair."_

Blair internally cursed Dan for not thinking of the time difference; then she thanked God for the rhythm he had adopted.

"I'm sorry" she said, trying not to gasp "I…missed you"

When the words left her mouth, Dan's tongue entered her. She lied back on the table, certain her it would be the death of her.

"I wished you were here with me" she said looking straight at Dan.

His tongue slipped out, only to be replaced by one of his fingers.

"_Yeah, me too. My meetings are going well though"_

_I don't give a fuck about your meetings_, Blair wanted to answer.

"I can't wait for you to get back" she said instead

Two fingers and Blair bit her palm.

"_We're still going to the opera with your friend from Vogue, right?"_

"Yeah" Blair answered in a gasp as Dan pulled away from her.

"Hang up" he whispered as he stood up and started unbuckling his belt.

"I have to go…Ombeline is crying" she said.

"_Alright. Good night, honey"_

"Good night"

Dan's pant pooled around his ankles as Blair got down from the table. She was going to take off her heels when Dan stopped her.

"Keep them" he said, his eyes dark. "And turn around"

Blair's eyes widened, her brain registering his demand. He guided her by putting a hand on her shoulder and turning her back to him. Then he pushed on the bottom of her back so she lied facing the table. Blair rested her cheek against the cool, polished wood and held her breath when she felt him tug her dress up to her hips. Dan watched her bite her lip as he took her right knee and lifted it on the table.

Blair had had sex multiple times with Chuck Bass, yet, she had never felt so exposed. She felt Dan's hands roamed over her ass, then he pushed inside of her with rapid stroke. The position turned him on too much. There was Blair, the mother of his daughter, her legs spread for him, her most intimate part wet for him.

Dan put his hands on her shoulders so her body would meet his every time he thrust. And he thrust hard. This time wasn't about showing her how much he cared about her. It was about showing her how good he was at pleasuring her. Blair's hand fisted on the table as she threw her head back and completely gave in to him.

"God, Blair. I'm going to…"

As soon as she heard him, Blair's sensations were magnified. It turned her on to see _him_ turned on by her submissive and exposed posture. She started meeting his motions with some if her own and finally met her release. Dan followed her almost instantly, unable to hold back longer.

Blair hadn't touched herself for years. However, that same night, when Dan was gone and she was in her bath, her hand reached down as she could still feel every bit of their previous moment.

/

Dan shivered from the cool air as he left Alessandra's office. It was definitely too chilly for the month of September. He held the manuscript tight against his chest and made his way to The Inspector's headquarters. Nate had asked him to meet him for lunch.

When he arrived, Nate was on the phone and gave him a sign to sit. He seemed tense. Dan assumed it was because Ivy was due three weeks later. When he hung up, he crossed his hands on his desk and sighed.

"What's going on?" Dan asked.

Nate looked at him for a while then leaned back on his chair, smoothing his tie on his chest. He always did this when he felt uncomfortable.

"I had a fight with Ivy yesterday…" he started

"Oh, I'm sorry" Dan said

"That's not the story, Dan" Nate said sharply.

Dan was taken aback by his tone. Nate had never talked to him this way.

"As I said, I had a fight with Ivy yesterday, so I wanted to go out and cool my head a bit. You were at an exhibit with Sonja and Chuck had an early meeting today so he couldn't go out. I went by myself, at first. Then when I was really starting to get drunk, I did something I knew I shouldn't have. I called Serena."

"You went to a bar with Serena?" Dan asked, astonished "Nate you know she can't…"

"Don't lecture me, Dan" Nate said, shaking his head "I perfectly know what I did. The thing is Serena started to get drunk with me. And we were talking about stuff, I don't even remember what. What I remember though, is that she let something slip. Something she shouldn't have, perhaps."

Nate stopped talking but kept looking at him, insistent. Dan's heart started to beat faster.

"Is it true?" Nate asked "About you and Blair. Is it true?"

Dan looked at his friend. Was he supposed to deny everything or be upfront with him? It had been years since Dan last felt so powerless. His silent, however, was enough for an answer.

"What the fuck Dan? Are you out of your mind?"

"Nate…"

"Why are you doing this to Sonja?" Nate asked "Has she ever done anything to hurt you?"

"You don't understand…"

"Then explain. I wanna hear it."

Dan took a deep breath. He could see that his friendship with Nate was at that instant hanging on a thread.

"I don't know why it happens" he said "I don't know how it happens. All I know is that something is constantly pulling me back to her, no matter what I do. I can't help it."

Nate laughed bitterly.

"You realize you're recycling the same phrases Blair gave us in high school whenever she was trying to explain why she was with Chuck, right? Is it what you want? To become her new Chuck Bass?"

"This has nothing to do with Chuck" Dan said firmly as anger started to build inside of him.

"It does, Dan. This 'we can't explain it' bullshit only makes sense because you know what you are doing is wrong. It's shield that you use to avoid seeing what a dick you really are. Have you even thought, at least one second, about how it would affect Ombeline?"

"Are you telling me I'm a bad father?"

"You sure act like one. But don't worry, I don't think Blair could even compete for mother of the year either."

Dan stood up. He felt ready to punch Nate in the face. But it wouldn't have changed anything.

"I'm outta here" he said turning back to leave.

"Don't bother getting in touch with me" Nate said right before Dan closed the door behind him.

On his way back to Brooklyn, he dialed Blair's number. He needed to feel that whatever had been happening between them was anything but wrong. Blair never picked up.

When she saw Dan's name on her phone, Blair ignored it and smiled at Chuck who was making his way to their table. He kissed her and sat in front of her.

"So?" Blair asked "What is the big surprise?"

"Well, as you know, I've been travelling to Switzerland a lot lately" Chuck said, summoning the waiter with his hand.

"Yes" Blair simply said, waiting for the rest.

Chuck leaned toward her and took her hand in his.

"I am opening a second version of The Empire. In Geneva"

"Oh my God! Chuck, this is so exciting!" Blair squeezed his hands.

Chuck smiled and nodded in appreciation.

"The only thing" he said "is that since it's only the second one, I will have to be on the field for about two years to start running it"

Blair's hand loosened around his.

"Are you leaving?" she asked.

"_We_ are leaving, yes" Chuck nodded.

Blair hands immediately left his.

"What are you saying, Chuck? You know I can't leave"

"Why not?" Chuck asked "You can run Waldorf Designs from anywhere in the world. We'll get you the best employees in Geneva."

Blair shook her head. Leaving New York was definitely out of the equation.

"What about Ombeline?"

"She would come with us, of course. Once she turns three, she can start school there. She'll get used to it fast enough; you always speak French to her."

"We can't take her away from Dan" Blair said.

"We're not taking her away from him. You're just moving abroad and she is coming with you because every kid should be with their mother."

"Chuck, do you even realize what you're asking me here?"

"We are _engaged_, Blair. You are supposed to be with me." Chuck told her, annoyed.

"Chuck. You know I can't." Blair's voice was firm and confident.

They engaged in a stare contest for a while before Chuck broke it with a smirk on his face.

"I know about you and Humphrey, Blair"

Blair stopped breathing. That was the last thing she had expected to hear from him. Chuck didn't look at her as he was ordering for the two of them, but Blair's eyes couldn't leave his face.

"How do you know?" she asked softly.

"I figured it out. The way you were distant after each family brunch; the two of you always disappearing during gatherings. Come on, Blair. Did you really think I was that stupid?"

Blair then realized how obvious the two of them might have been, sometimes.

"So what?" Blair asked "Are you trying to punish me?"

"No Blair, I'm trying to save you" Chuck said, hitting his hand flat on the table. "Can't you see that the two of you are never going to go anywhere? He is never leaving his wife for you, Blair."

"I would have never asked him to" Blair said, feeling pathetic.

"Because you know he wouldn't have done it. I love you, Blair. Geneva is an opportunity to start a new life, together, just like Humphrey did with Sonja. It's time to move forward with your life."

Blair tried to contain her tears, but her face probably gave away her emotions. She didn't want to believe what Chuck was telling her, but she couldn't deny that every word had been true. She took her purse and stood up from her seat.

"I've lost my appetite" she said before leaving.

Chuck did not go after her. She waved her hand in the air to hail a cab and went straight home, trying not to let the tears escape her eyes. She felt stupid. She felt idiotic. She felt naïve for thinking that Dan and her had had any special bond beyond their daughter.

When she got home, she found him on her couch, reading a book to Ombeline. He saw her and instantly stood up, walking toward her.

"Are you okay?" Dan asked as he saw her face.

Blair simply nodded.

"What are you doing here? Where is Elise?"

"I dismissed her." Dan said "I thought I could wait here with Ombeline for you to come back."

Blair nodded, her eyes on Ombeline flipping pages of the little book. She refused to look at Dan, even when he took her arms in his hand.

"Listen Blair, I have something to tell you. Nate knows. About us."

Blair looked at him this time. Dan didn't seem the tiniest bit worried.

"I'm moving to Geneva" she said.

She saw Dan frown.

"What?" he asked.

Blair cleared her throat and removed her arm from his hand.

"Chuck is going to go there for business. And I'm going with him."

She walked passed him toward the kitchen and Dan followed her.

"Are you serious? When the fuck did you decide that? And without consulting me?"

"I don't have to consult you, Dan. We are not together, we're only sleeping with each other"

Dan's heart clenched at her words.

"You have to consult me with something deals with Ombeline. Because I'm assuming you'll take her with you." he said.

"I'll try to bring her back to New York at least once a month, for a week. And you can always visit. It'll only be two years"

"No." Dan shook his head "No way. You have no right to do this to me."

"No right?" Blair said turning to him "Dan you gave me every right when you broke up with me three years ago, while I was six months pregnant. You're the one you made the situation how it is today"

Dan couldn't say anything. Blair walked toward him and put her hands on his shoulders.

"Listen, Dan. There was a reason why we didn't work. No matter how much we want to believe that there is something there, it's not powerful enough to overcome all the obstacles in our way. And it led us to do something terrible. We should have never started this relation again, especially since we were already bounded to other people. Serena knows, Nate knows and Chuck just told me that he knows too. It would have been only a matter of time before Sonja became aware of it."

"Chuck knows?" Dan asked. "Blair, that's why he wants you to go with him, he wants to keep us apart."

"Maybe he does. And he would be right to" Blair said. "Dan, as long as we continue to see each other on a weekly basis, we will never be able to move on. But we need to."

"Do we, really?"

"Yes, Dan!" Blair's hand flew in the air and tears started rolling down. "Go home to your wife, have children with her! Live your life and let me go. Don't let Ombeline give you the idea that you have to hold on to something that wasn't meant to be."

Again, the words attacked his heart first.

"You think we weren't meant to be?" Dan asked.

"Tell me one thing, one thing Dan, which proves the contrary"

But Dan couldn't. He couldn't find that thing to say, he wasn't even sure he was looking for it.

"So this is it?" he asked. "This is how we end?"

Blair could see how bitter he was.

"We ended a long time ago, Dan. We just never had the courage to admit it."

They looked at each other for a while, then Dan broke the contact and went to grab his things in the living room. Blair followed him and watched him kiss Ombeline goodbye.

"I'll see you soon, darling" he told her.

Then he went toward the elevator and pushed the call button. He turned to Blair who was still looking at him, standing up in the living room.

"I love you, Blair" he said without flinching "And I know you love me too."

Blair looked up and tried to contain her tears one more time.

"I do" she answered "But there are cases where love is not enough"

Dan shook his head.

"That's a Chuck idea, Blair. I'll prove you wrong someday, somehow."

The elevator doors opened and Dan stepped into it. As Blair watched the doors close on him, she wondered if she could allow herself to hold on to his last promise.

* * *

**_Relax, people! There are two chapters and an epilogue left. I hope you guys will bear with me because I'm loving the next chapter soooo much! It has the return of two significant characters in both Blair's and Dan's lives and more Carter. _**

**_Anyway, just let me know how I did with the smut, I wasn't very inspired. See you at the next chapter!_**

**_Bisous!_**


	5. The doors to the past

_**I can't believe I've managed to rewrite the entire chapter. I am exhausted. Thank you guys for your support on Tumblr, it's what got me going !**_

_**Thanks to You-define-beauty for lifting the linguistic obstacles! Danke !**_

_**Enough with my rambling, I'll let you enjoy my favourite chapter!**_

* * *

When Blair opened her eyes that morning, the first thing she felt was a terrible nausea. She immediately got off the bed and ran to the toilet. She kneeled in front of it and waited. Nothing came. The nausea was well present, but that was it. She sighed and stood up to wash her face.

Blair took a moment to look at her reflection in the mirror. She thought she looked sick. There were circle under her eyes, her skin was paler than usual and since she had cut her hair, she looked more severe.

Once she got back to her room, she looked out the window to the streets of Geneva waking up. It had been three years and five months since she and Dan had broken up. She had been living in Switzerland for three months now.

Chuck and Blair had bought an apartment in the south of the city. Ombeline had been granted with a gigantic bedroom where she loved inventing stories with Mr. Freezoo. Chuck and Blair both had their own study, on each side of their bedroom. There was also a little room giving view on The Rhone, where Blair liked to drink her tea and read books to Ombeline.

Ombeline fit well in Geneva. She was picking up French really easily, although she always refused to speak it outside the classrooms. Blair had also quickly accustomed to her new life. She had phone conferences with the runner of Waldorf Designs in New York. Every morning she would bring Ombeline to the best private school in the center of the city. She was always wearing ensembles and drank three black coffees a day. She worked harder than she used to in New York, because she constantly needed to keep herself busy.

Otherwise, she would think of him. She would think about how good it felt when they were together. She would think about how wrong it was too. She missed him so much. She missed touching him. She missed him touching her. She missed watching him being a father to Ombeline.

They still called each other every Sunday. She would bring Ombeline with her in front of the computer so he could see his daughter. They didn't talk about anything else than Ombeline, their jobs or the weather because Sonja or Chuck were always around. But just looking him in the eyes, Blair knew that he was suffering from the situation as much as she was.

Once, he sent her a text describing a dream he had had. It was one of the most erotic things Blair had ever read in her entire life. She didn't want to risk Chuck finding it, so she copied it on her computer and hid it in one of her work files. Sometimes, late at night, she would go and read his words dedicated to her, again and again.

She thought of him when she made love with Chuck. She always kept her eyes closed and never touched Chuck's hair, because the disappointment of not feeling curls between her fingers was one she couldn't bear.

Another time, he sent her a text full of love and confessions. He told her he loved her, he told her he needed her, he told her he sometimes felt like he couldn't breathe, aching from her absence. She felt it all too. But she couldn't bring herself to admit it and destroy everything.

Blair felt Chuck grab her gently by the waist and pull her toward him as he kissed her neck.

"Good morning" he whispered.

Blair turned around to face him and welcomed his kiss.

"Sorry I got home late, last night. Something…"

"Came up" Blair said "I know"

Chuck kissed her shoulder.

"What are you doing up so early, and on a Sunday?"

"I couldn't sleep" Blair shrugged.

"Are you nervous about the test results?"

"I don't know" Blair turned back to the window "I would have no reasons to be. It's not like I've never been pregnant before"

"Ivy used to say that having your second child is much scarier than the first one"

"I haven't talked to Nate in forever" Blair suddenly realized out loud.

"What time are Serena and Ombeline landing tonight?" Chuck asked, going over his e-mails on his phone.

"7:15" Blair answered.

He nodded and went to his study without any other words. Blair listened to his door closing. That were the type of conversation they were having. Dull. Without any content. She wondered when she had become so impassionate.

/

Dan stroke Ombeline's back softly, trying his best to comfort her. Her little body was shaking against his as she let out little sobs. Dan didn't know how long he would last before he would start crying himself.

"I'm coming to see you in a month" he told her "It's not that long."

Ombeline just kept crying, holding tight onto his coat. Serena got closer to them and hugged them both.

"We have to go, baby" she told Ombeline with a soft voice.

Ombeline reluctantly went into Serena's arms. Carter approached them and gave Serena a long kiss. Then he stepped back with Dan and they both watched them get into Chuck's private jet. Dan felt his eyes starting to water. Carter felt his pain and pat him on the shoulder for support.

"Hey, only a month, right?" he told him.

Dan didn't answer but turned around to hop into the cab waiting for them. Carter came to sit next to him.

"Let's go out" he said "Serena is not here, so we don't have to feel guilty about it. What do you say?"

Dan simply nodded, looking out the window.

"I'll give Vanessa a call" Carter said, taking out his phone.

Ever since Blair had moved to Geneva with Chuck and Ombeline, Dan's life had taken a new turn. He hadn't talked to Nate since their fight in his office. Dan went to see Ivy the day she gave birth to their daughter, Emily, but Nate refused to talk to him. He made an appearance at Ombeline third birthday party, but after a few kisses to his goddaughter, he left. Dan had then started to accept the fact that perhaps their friendship was over.

Serena blamed herself for drinking and telling Nate about the affair. But Dan wasn't mad at her. She wasn't the one doing the deed. She just knew about it. Eventually, they grew closer again, and then Dan started hanging out with Carter, much to Blair's dismay when she heard about it. Vanessa was often with them too. Her Spanish boyfriend, José, came to join her in New York and they settled there permanently. Everyone was present when he proposed to her in December.

Dan missed Blair, sometimes. He told her each time he felt it, because he wanted her to know. She never answered to his texts, or e-mails, or voicemails. She only talked to him with Ombeline on Sundays. Dan understood. She was protecting herself. But it hurt him that she felt she needed protection from him. They had only seen each other once, when Dan went to visit them in Geneva. He stayed at a hotel on Blair's expenses, not far from her apartment. He was the one who took Ombeline to school and he would bring her back home afterward. The day he saw Blair, she had stayed home with a cold. She simply thanked him for bringing Ombeline back and let her housekeeper show him to the door. That day, Dan only wanted one thing: being as far as possible from her. So he shortened his trip and flew back to New York the next day.

Sonja was starting to make it. Several galleries had offered to display her photographs and she had sold a few of them. If it went on this way, she would finally be able to quit teaching and become a full-time artist. Dan hoped it would happen, so it could help to heal her pain.

Just a week after Blair had left for Geneva in October, Dan had given in to Sonja and they started trying for a baby. Ombeline constantly requested a brother or sister and Dan knew that Chuck and Blair weren't going to get married before they left Geneva. So he decided to move forward. When she still wasn't pregnant in December, Sonja decided to get tested, just to check. It turned out she couldn't have children. Dan didn't bother register all the clinical and scientific terms for it, because it wouldn't have changed anything. His wife couldn't have that thing she so badly desired and she never could. When she got the news, she decided to go take a vacation to Finland, with her family. Dan went with her, because being there was the only thing he could do for her.

When they got back, Ombeline was staying at his dad and Blair had gotten back to Geneva. When Dan asked her why, she said that she had no reason to stay in New York. Being with Ombeline hurt Sonja and she didn't approach her for the whole week. Dan didn't know how to handle it, so he spent most of his time with Ombeline, while Sonja lied in their bed almost all day long. Every night, when he went to sleep, Dan would hold Sonja tight against him, in an weak attempt to make up for being such a terrible husband.

The taxi pulled in front of an English Pub in Queens. Dan followed Carter inside to his usual table. Vanessa and José were already there. When Dan sat next to her, she pulled him into a tight hug.

"How are you holding up?" she asked softly.

"I'll be fine, I guess." Dan shrugged. "What are we drinking?"

"I ordered four shots of tequila" Vanessa said "To celebrate"

"Celebrate what?"

"Our movie has been nominated for Best Investigative Documentary at the 78 Movie Awards" Carter said "We got the news this morning"

"Wow, congratulations" Dan said without any visible interest.

"Try to hide your emotion" Vanessa told him, then she grabbed him by the arm "Come on, let's go out for a smoke."

He followed her outside and accepted the cigarette she was giving him.

"Okay Dan, I wanna tell you something" Vanessa said.

Dan instantly rolled his eyes and lit his cigarette.

"I'm fine, Vanessa"

"No you're not! I can't remember the last time I saw you smile. So either you call Nate, or you turn in the manuscript that has been sitting on your desk for like an eternity."

"Or what? You're going to steal it and publish it behind my back?" he asked bitterly.

"I might!" Vanessa said, not at all cross by his comment.

Dan laughed in spite of him.

"How long have we been friends, Vanessa?" he asked.

Vanessa exhaled loudly under the thought.

"Since we were that tall" she finally said placing her hand up to her knee. "At least."

"We should've ended up together, you know"

"Why are you saying that?" Vanessa chuckled.

"I don't know" Dan shrugged. "The writer in me seems to think that it would have been the perfect continuation to a lifelong friendship. The perfect fairytale of the third millennium"

"Is it an invitation to run away with you?" Vanessa asked. "Because, really, you just have to say the word. José is more of a distraction"

Dan laughed out loud "I'm sorry but the way you keep showing your engagement ring to random people in the streets differs with your saying."

"Fine, you caught me: I'm happy" she said, throwing away her cigarette "But I would've been happier with you"

"That goes without saying"

They went back into the bar and José put an arm around Vanessa.

"Finally" he said "I was thinking I would never see you again"

"Oh you almost didn't" Vanessa answered, and she and Dan started giggling.

José shot a confused glare to Carter who shook his head.

"I don't even want to try and understand" he said "I just wanna get hammered enough to sleep through Serena's absence"

So they all followed his lead, and Dan couldn't remember anything after three beers and his fourth Vodka-Redbull.

/

A month later, Dan woke up to the smell of pepperoni and cheese. When he got out of his room, he caught the sight of Sonja getting a pizza out of the oven.

"Pizza for breakfast? Nice."

He went to take her in his arms and kiss her.

"I think you were destined to be married to an American."

Sonja smiled and started cutting the burning dish.

"Since you're leaving today, I thought we could make breakfast special" she put a slice on a plate and handed it to him "Eat fast, or you're going to miss your flight."

Dan sat behind the bar with his plate, and watched his wife getting busy in the kitchen. He took in how thinner she had gotten, how pale she looked with her long blond hair.

"What were you like, as a kid?" he asked her.

He had never asked this question before, but Sonja didn't seem taken aback. On the contrary, she simply smiled.

"Discreet" she answered. "What about you?"

"Discreet too, I guess" Dan said.

Sonja smiled wider and leaned over the bar to give him a kiss.

"It's like we were meant to be" she said.

Dan didn't answer. The concept of two people actually meant to be was something he had long given up on. There was a time he had felt it with Blair. How wrong had he been.

"Come with me to Geneva" he said without really thinking.

Although, he didn't regret it.

"What?" Sonja was surprised this time.

"Come with me. I can take the next flight."

Sonja shook her head with a crooked smile.

"And have double dates with Blair and Chuck?

Dan smiled to show her he thought the idea was absurd too.

"We won't have to see them; just Ombeline before and after school. We can easily make time for the two of us, we have a whole week."

"I don't know, Dan" Sonja said, avoiding his eyes.

"Come on. A writer and a photographer in one of the most beautiful European cities? Isn't it tempting?"

It took him one more hour to convince her, but at the end of the same day, the two of them were falling asleep in their hotel room in Geneva.

The first three days of the week went by as normally as they could. Dan would pick up Ombeline in the morning and take her to school. Afterward he would join Sonja and they would start their day together. The morning they would visit the city. Sometimes Sonja took pictures while Dan sat and scribbled on his little notebook. They ate lots of chocolate. And in the afternoon they would go back to their hotel room and make love before watching _Friends_ in French. Then they both would go pick up Ombeline and bring her back home to Laura, the housekeeper. She always insisted they stayed but Dan didn't want to take the chance to run into Blair, or Chuck, or both.

On the morning of the fourth day, Dan's phone buzzed on the nightstand. He groggily looked at it and his eyes opened wider when he saw Blair's name written on the screen above a little envelope.

"_Can you meet me at the Jet d'Eau?"_

He hadn't seen Blair in months. And she had been the one avoiding him, first. What would she have to tell him now?

Dan was careful not to wake Sonja when he slipped out of bed and got dressed. When he got outside, there was snow everywhere, the cold winter air was biting his cheeks and the sun had not risen yet. It didn't take him long to get to his destination, and when he arrived, Blair was already there.

She was looking to the lake, warmly wrapped in a heavy dark blue coat and thick tights. He could see from where he was standing that her nose was red. She turned toward him when she heard him get closer and smiled.

"You cut your hair" Dan said. It was the first thing that he thought of saying because it was the one thing that surprised him.

Blair nodded. She couldn't tell him that she had done it in an attempt to forget how much she loved the way he always used to weave his fingers through it.

"You shaved your beard" she said instead.

Dan stroked his cheek and smiled. He couldn't tell her he had done it because he wanted to forget how much he loved the way she bristled when it touched her skin.

"So, to what do I owe the pleasure?" he asked.

"I thought that we needed to talk" Blair said.

"Alright. About what?"

Blair gave him an apologetic smile.

"I think I forgot"

Dan laughed. Leave it to Blair Waldorf to get him out of bed this early for nothing.

"Okay" he said "Since we're here, how have you been? Made a lot of Swiss friends?"

"No one that matters really. What about you? How is Sonja?"

Dan looked at the lake, repressing a sigh.

"She's good. She's better."

"Better?" Blair frowned "What happened? Did she find out about…"

She left the end of her sentence hanging because she couldn't bring herself to finish it. Besides, she knew Dan would understand.

"No, no" Dan answered, shaking his head with a look of pain on his face. "It's just…she found out she can't get pregnant."

Blair swallowed the lump in her throat. So Dan had been trying to have another baby; with another woman.

"I'm really sorry" she said sincerely. "You know, last month, I was sure that I was pregnant myself."

Dan turned his head to look at her, but her eyes had gone back on the lake.

"I had all the signs. But the doctor said it was fatigue. It's good, though. Chuck and I aren't ready for a baby."

"Then perhaps you two should be more careful" Dan didn't mean for his tone to be as sharp as it was.

"You mean like we were?" Blair asked, looking at him this time.

Dan grimaced. He did not want to think about it.

"Can you believe that we _never_ used any kind of protection? We're lucky I didn't get pregnant."

Dan bit the inside of his cheek. Not only Blair was talking about their affair, but she was also giving it this very clinical aspect, one devoid of any sensibility.

"Sometimes" she said "when I think about it, I wonder if it wasn't a bit on purpose."

"What do you mean?" Dan asked.

"Perhaps we wanted it to happen, somehow. It would have given us a damn good reason to go back to each other."

Dan had never considered that part of their lack of judgment.

"It would have been a mistake, though" Blair went on.

Dan could only nod, to stop himself from considering the alternative.

"Well, it seems neither of us is going to be able to give Ombeline what she wants anytime soon" Dan said.

Blair laughed, knowing what he was referring to.

"Or ever" she said "Do you know that she's asked for a big brother twice since we've moved here? Chuck even told me she asked him if he was sure he hadn't had any children"

"And the look on her face when I tell her it's not possible. It's like we just announced her someone died" Dan shook his head.

"Is it how she reacts with you?" Blair asked "With me she just gets into a huge fit of anger saying it's not fair. I don't even know where she learned the concept of fairness."

"Mmh, it was jenny's favorite line when she was little. I guess I'm the one to blame, there."

"She might be too spoiled" Blair said with a deep sigh. "Between her parents, her step-parents and her…what, seven grandparents?"

"Yeah" Dan chuckled. "Plus she's going to go to Constance, right? She's going to become even more unbearable once she starts school there. God, my daughter is going to be an It-Girl, isn't she?"

"That is very likely, yes" Blair laughed when she saw his terrified expression.

"Fuck. How did I let that happen?"

"Well Serena and Nate _are_ her godparents, for one part. Her mother, her grandmother and her aunt work in fashion. And her father is a trending writer. It's kind of unavoidable."

"Fuck me" Dan said shaking his head with a smile. "I guess she naturally took more of your world than mine"

"Come on" Blair nudged him friendlily "You know she prefers the loft to the penthouse, back in New York."

"That's normal. At the loft, she's allowed to eat tasty food. Not that healthy, weird stuff you insist on feeding her with."

Blair shook her head in disbelief, a light smile on her lips.

"Still fighting the war against spinach, I see."

"Until my very last breath" Dan nodded.

They laughed together, as the day was starting to show and the sky got lighter. Then they both stood silent, next to each other, enjoying a moment they hadn't had for years.

"This is good" Blair said finally.

She turned to Dan, smiling.

"I feel like everything is starting to get back to normal."

"Normal?" Dan asked, slightly confused.

"You know" Blair shrugged "We laugh, we tease. I feel like we're back to how we were before."

Then she saw Dan turning to face her with the most serious face.

"Blair…we can never go back to normal."

Blair's smile faltered and she looked down to her feet so he couldn't see how much his words stung. But Dan reached to lift her chin up so she could face him again.

"We're better than before, though" he told her "We're a family."

Then Blair smiled again, shyly at first, then brightly. Dan's thumb brushed on of her dimples, and he felt it again. It was Blair. She would always raise that kind of admiration and contentment from deep inside him.

And because it was Blair, he wrapped his arms tightly around her and channeled through the hug all the things he couldn't bring himself to say. Blair responded with shared emotion, wanting to anchor this very embrace deep into her memory.

When they pulled apart, they both wondered which one would take the inevitable next step. Blair wasn't surprised that Dan was the one doing it.

"Sonja is going to wake up, soon" he said "I have to go"

Blair nodded.

"Thank you for meeting me. It means a lot."

"I'm glad I did. Really."

Blair smiled one last time, before starting to walk away.

"Goodbye, Humphrey"

"See you."

Dan watched her go and get into a town car waiting for her. He waved as the car drove away, without any certitude that she would see him. Then he left too.

On his way back to the hotel, he stopped at a bakery to pick up coffee and fresh croissant. When he got into his hotel room, Sonja was sitting in bed, reading.

"I went to pick up breakfast" he said, putting the food on a table not far from the bed.

"Why didn't you order room service?" Sonja asked.

"I wanted to walk" Dan shrugged.

He relieved himself from his coat and scarf before going to sit right next to her on the bed. Sonja closed the book on her laps and ran a hand rather nervously on the cover.

"I thought that maybe you were with Blair?"

Dan thought of not acting surprised, then realized it would be more suspicious if he didn't.

"Blair? Why?"

"I don't know" Sonja sighed. "You two haven't seen each other in a while and you used to be close"

"Because of Ombeline" Dan said "That's all."

He watched Sonja set the book on the nightstand and sit straighter in the bed. She put her little hands on his shoulder and looked him deep in the eyes.

"Dan, I want you to answer something."

"Okay" Dan said even though all five of his senses were telling him to run far, far away.

"Are you seeing her behind my back?"

"What?"

"Are you seeing Blair?" Sonja asked, more insistently.

"No. No, Sonja, no." _But I used to_, he thought of saying. However, his cowardice took once again the control.

Sonja frowned and wrapped her arms around his shoulder, pressing her body against his.

"I'm sorry" she whispered in his neck. "I didn't want to doubt you. It's just –she's the mother of your child and I can't even…"

"No" Dan pulled her closer, refusing to let her finish. "Don't think of that. Sonja, you're the one I chose to marry. You're the one I chose to be with."

Dan pushed her away only to take her face between his hands.

"I don't care if you can't have children. We can adopt. Or we won't have any. Whatever you're up for, I'm all in. If you want, it can be just the two of us, eating pizza for breakfast until the end of times. Don't think that because you can't give me this one thing, you can't give me other great things. Do you understand?"

Sonja sniffed loudly and wiped the tears coming down on her cheek.

"I love you" she said through her broken voice.

"I love you too, Sonja." And Dan was sure he had never meant it more than that instant.

He quickly undressed himself and got under the covers with her, pulling her close against his side. As he lied there, and she was starting to calm down, Dan thought of Blair who was probably eating breakfast with Chuck. She was fine; she was always going to be fine. Sonja, on the other hand, needed him, and he had made the vow to be there for her. Dan was then experiencing something he never thought he would. He was starting to think that, after years of unexplained pain and frustration, he was finally moving on.

/

"Mommy, can we go to the zoo?"

Blair let the driver settle Ombeline in her booster seat while she checked her emails.

"I'm not fond of that kind of places, ma chérie. I'll tell your dad to take you when you'll be in New York with him next month"

"I want to see a giraffe" Ombeline said, perhaps more to herself than to Blair.

"Is there anywhere you would like to go before going home, Miss Waldorf?" the driver asked as he took his place behind the wheel

"No, Henri, let's go"

The car took off and Blair watched the city run before her eyes, listening with half an ear her daughter's rambling. The winter might have been tough, but Geneva in spring was a complete wonder. Even though the air was still incredibly chill, the sun was always there and the brightness seemed to put everyone in a good mood.

Blair couldn't wait to go home and show her mother the new designs for the next collection. She was pretty sure it was going to be their masterpiece.

When the car slowed down, Blair looked attentively outside and saw several policemen standing there and stopping cars.

"What is going on, Henri?"

"The traffic isn't so great in the center, Miss. There's some prince coming to town with his Swiss wife, and I think they are supposed to inaugurate a church nearby."

Blair frowned and she felt her heart pace quicken.

"A prince, you say? From which country?"

"I don't know, Miss."

Soon, the car came to a full stop and a policeman came to knock on Blair's window.

"Nobody is supposed to use this road to get to the other side of the city, Miss" he told Blair in French. "You're going to have to turn around."

"I live on the other side of the city" Blair said in her haughty tone.

"I'm sorry Miss, but either you wait, either you use another way."

"How are we supposed to turn around? There are cars everywhere. Were you supposed to clear the traffic? Because it seems you only made it worst"

The policeman looked at her surprised to be talked to this way by a civilian. Blair could see he was about to answer something when his walkie-talkie started making sounds.

"_La princesse est arrivée_" Blair could hear.

The policeman took it and answered. Then he went to Henri's window.

"Pull over, you're going to have to wait until the princess and her husband get to the church safely."

Henri executed the orders and soon Blair could see a Rolls Royce park about fifty feet from her car. Photographers appeared massively when the driver opened one of the doors and Blair saw a tall, blond woman get out. She was wearing a green dress, Oscar de La Renta, Blair recognized it. She assumed it was the princess everyone was making such a fuss about. She wasn't really pretty. Then Blair saw someone starting to get out of the other side of the car. She took a deep breath.

_Please, let this be Harry. Please let this be Harry._

When she saw Louis Grimaldi walk around the car and stand next to his wife, Blair's breathing was cut short.

He hadn't changed at all. Blair couldn't see him very well, but she was almost certain that nothing had changed about him. Same smile. Same hair. Same posture. Same Louis.

"We have to go" she told Henri.

"We can't, Miss. The police will arrest us."

Blair quickly looked around for the policeman that had pulled them over and summoned him.

"My daughter is sick" she told him "You have to let us go"

"Not until they get inside the church, miss. I'm sorry."

"Look" Blair said, her tone threatening "I can't be seen here. You have to let us go"

"Miss, I'm starting to find your behavior suspicious. I'm going to ask you to calm down, or I will result to other ways."

Blair was about to insist more, but right at the moment she was looking over at Louis and his wife, she could see him turning in her direction. She saw him looking at her, his smile faltering slightly and his eyebrows frowning. He screw up his eyes, as if he was trying to see if it was really her.

Blair winded up her window.

"Go!" she almost shouted to Henri.

"But Miss…"

"I said: GO!" she shouted, this time.

The urge in her voice had been convincing enough and the car violently started. As they were driving away, Blair could see policemen attempting to stop then, and probably noting the plate number. When she turned around to watch through the back windshield, she could still see from afar Louis turned toward the car, watching them drive away.

When she got home, Blair let Laura take care of giving Ombeline her afternoon snack and immediately dialed Chuck's number.

"_I'm about to go to a meeting, Blair. Can it wait?"_

"Oh, yes, okay" Blair said "Wait! No, don't hang up."

"_What's going on, Blair?"_

Blair cleared her throat.

"Have you –have you been downtown today?" she asked

"_No, I haven't_" Chuck said "_But I've heard of who is there."_

"Oh. And…"

"_I don't care about him, Blair. And neither should you. He isn't part of our lives anymore, remember?"_

Blair nodded and let him hang up. Chuck was right. Louis was what she called B.O. Before Ombeline. And nothing really mattered before Ombeline.

It was 8:30 pm when Blair gave up on waiting for Chuck for dinner. Ombeline refused to go to bed, and Blair didn't have the strength to fight her. So she let her hang around in the living room with her notebook and her color pencils.

Blair was running through numbers when the bell rang. Laura had already left, so Blair had to get up from her desk and go to it. When she opened the door, she wasn't even surprised to find Louis there. It was as if she had been expecting him.

Louis on the other seemed to have lost his speech capacity. He looked at her, his mouth haggard, his eyes running over her face.

"Blair" he finally said.

"It's me" Blair nodded with a smile. "How did you find me?"

"I…I looked in the phonebook" Louis said, returning her smile. "I just…I was so sure it was you. But I didn't find your name. So we went out to dinner with my wife and we drove in front of a hotel. The name was familiar, so when we got back, I looked for the name Bass. And there you are."

They looked at each other for a while, before Blair moved aside.

"Do you want to come in?" she offered "Chuck isn't here"

Louis seemed to hesitate.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

Blair nodded and let him make his way inside. She led him to the living room, where Ombeline was sitting on the rug, drawing in her notebook. When she looked up to her mother and saw that she was with someone, Ombeline stood up.

"Bonjour" she said with a timorous voice.

Louis seemed surprised and answered before turning to Blair.

"Is that your daughter?"

"Yes" Blair nodded "Ombeline, this is Louis. He is a friend of mine."

Ombeline stayed there and looked at the both of them, waiting for her dismissal.

"You can go back to drawing" Blair told her.

She did not want to send Ombeline away. Her daughter was probably the only thing keeping her sane at that moment. Blair offered Louis a cup of tea, which he hesitantly accepted. She went to the kitchen to prepare everything and she could hear Ombeline telling Louis some stories about her dolls and stuffed animals.

When Blair got back with two cup of tea, Ombeline was introducing Louis to Mr. Freezoo.

"He is an astronaut" she told him.

"That's impressive" Louis said "Are you an astronaut too?"

"No, I go to school." Ombeline answered as if it was the stupidest question she had ever heard.

Louis and Blair laughed lightly.

"My mommy makes people pretty" Ombeline went on. "What do you do?" she then asked Louis.

Louis opened his mouth, then closed it, then said;

"I am a Prince. I serve my country and my people."

Blair was surprised not to see Ombeline impressed and her surprise only grew when her daughter said;

"My mommy was a princess once. But she didn't like it so she stopped."

Blair avoided Louis' glance and looked closer at Ombeline.

"How do you know that?"

"Daddy told me. He said that you were a Queen now. And that someday I'll be a Queen too."

Blair couldn't help but let out a small laugh. Louis joined her.

"Chuck has become quite the romantic type" Louis said.

Blair frantically shook her head.

"Chuck isn't the father. Ombeline is Dan Humphrey's daughter"

Louis' eyebrows flew up "Wow. Your life has certainly changed since the last time we saw each other."

"It was in Austria" Blair remembered out loud "At the end of our honeymoon"

Louis nodded and watched Ombeline drawing.

"I'm sorry, Blair. For…"

"Don't" Blair halted him "We both had our wrongs. I hurt you; you only tried to hurt me back."

"I shouldn't have, though" then his voice dropped so Ombeline wouldn't hear "I loved you so much. And now it's like we never happened."

"I bet Chuck would have a different opinion, since he's the one who paid the dowry."

Louis looked at her with worried eyes then relaxed when he saw her smiling.

"I better not let him find me here" he said. "Besides, I told Elena I was visiting a friend and that I would be back soon."

Louis put his cup of tea on the coffee table and stood up. Blair followed and showed him to the door. Right before leaving, Louis turned around to face her.

"Blair…do you ever think of the baby?"

Blair cleared her throat, feeling uncomfortable.

"Sometimes, when Ombeline asks for a big brother. I feel sorry to know that there was a time where it might have been possible."

"Elena is pregnant" Louis said "It's recent; we haven't officially announced it yet. But ever since she told me, I think of it. I wonder what he or she would have looked like"

Blair rested her head against the door "I'm sorry." she said

"You don't have to be. It's just life and its many turnarounds."

"_Les aléas de la vie" _Blair told him.

Louis gave her a light smile "I wish you to be happy, in the end, Blair."

"Thank you. I wish it for you too."

Louis leaned up and kissed her on both cheeks.

"Goodbye"

Blair watched him go, wishing for herself to be happy too, one day. Then she closed the door behind him, and closed a door to her past.

/

Dan got distracted by the sound of a knock on the bathroom door and cut himself with the razor blade.

"Shit" he muttered as the door opened and he saw Sonja get in. "What is it?" he asked half annoyed, half concerned when he saw the look on her face as she handed him a clean sweatshirt.

"The FBI is here for you"

"What?" Dan asked, wondering if he should smile or not.

"The FBI. I thought it was something that existed only in American shows, but two of them are in the living room."

"What the fuck is going on?" Dan asked

"I don't know, they said they wanted to talk to you about some woman…Gina or something."

Dan's body instantly froze. Oh, no. _Not her._ He put the sweatshirt on and headed to the living room. A men and a woman, looking severe in their dark suits were standing there.

"Daniel Humphrey?" the man asked when he saw Dan approaching.

Dan nodded and shook the hand the man gave him.

"My name is Steven Atwood from the FBI and this is Mary-Ann Cox from child services."

"What can I do for you?" Dan asked "My wife said you're here to talk to me about…"

Dan didn't say the name, because he was still hoping it was a big misunderstanding.

"Georgina Sparks-Becker, yes"

Dan put his hands on his hips and tried to steady his breathing. He could feel Sonja's glare on his back.

"Please sit down", he told the officers, before taking a seat himself.

"Mr. Humphrey, Georgina Sparks-Becker has been recently arrested and is currently waiting to appear in front of a judge" Atwood said

"What happened?" Dan asked, unsure if he even cared.

"Well it's quite unbelievable…"

"Try me"

"She found out her husband was planning on leaving her for his mistress, who was also his secretary"

"Not very surprising" Dan murmured.

"We're not there yet. Mrs. Sparks-Becker did not want to divorce so she paid two mercenaries to kidnap her husband's mistress and she arranged a plan for them to take her to Belarus and leave her there without any money or papers."

"Oh my God" Sonja gasped.

Dan tried to act surprised as well, but he couldn't manage it good enough, for he very well knew where Georgina had gotten such an idea.

"I don't really understand what it has to do with me" Dan said, trying to change the subject.

"Since Mrs. Sparks-Becker is currently in jail, waiting for a trial, you would have to take the responsibility you denied for seven years now" Officer Cox said, looking at him like he was the most disgusting thing she had ever seen.

"Responsibility? I don't have anything to do with Georgina anymore."

"Oh, you don't, do you?" officer Cox said, as she was pulling a paper from her brief. "Is that why your name is on her son's birth certificate?"

Dan's heart missed a beat. It took him great effort to lift his hand and take the paper she was handing him. He looked at his signature, wondering if he had really been the one doing it.

"You are Milo Humphrey's father, right?" Officer Cox asked, more rhetorically than anything.

"Mitä?" Sonja hissed.

Dan turned around to look at her. Her skin was pale and she was looking at him like she couldn't recognize him.

"I'll explain everything" he told her.

"Mr. Humphrey, if you don't accept to take care of this child until the trial, he will be placed into a family that would be more than happy to welcome him" the woman's voice was insistent, pressuring.

"Why can't he stay with Philip?" Dan asked.

"He has no legal rights over this child"

"Daddy?"

Dan felt like he was going to explode. All the heads turned toward Ombeline who had just woken up and was walking toward her father, with Mr. Freezoo tucked under her arm.

"Daddy, I'm hungry" she said ignoring the strangers he was talking to.

"Yes, wait, Sonja do you mind?" Dan asked.

Sonja seemed to hesitate for a moment, but then she took Ombeline by the hand and led her to the kitchen.

"Listen" Dan said turning toward the officers "I haven't been denying anything when it comes to Milo. The fact is Georgina tricked me into thinking he was mine. If we do the test, you'll see that it's not true."

The two officers seemed unhinged by his revelation.

"So you're saying you're not his father?" officer Atwood asked.

Dan shook his head.

"Fine." officer Cox said sharply "Well I guess he'll be going to foster care, then. Sorry for wasting your time."

As the two officers stood up, Dan's brain went into overdrive.

"Wait!" he said "I thought you had a family that would take care of him."

"We will find one. Via the foster care system"

"How long will that take?" Dan asked.

"We can't foresee that kind of things, Mr. Humphrey" officer Cox said, slightly annoyed.

Dan looked at Sonja who was looking back at him while she put a bowl of cereals in front of Ombeline.

"I'll take him" he said turning back to the officers.

"You just said you weren't his father" Officer Atwood said

"I lied"

"But…"

"My name is on the birth certificate, isn't it?"

The two officers exchanged a glance.

"We would have to make sure your home is suitable in order to welcome him" Officer Cox said.

"Alright" Dan nodded

"And that he would be evolving in a sane environment"

"My wife is a kindergarten teacher" Dan said, going to stand next to Sonja. "And this is Ombeline, my daughter. She is three and she is really smart, she can speak French and she is really nice toward people who wear designer clothes. But that's her mother who taught her that. And since Milo is still Georgina's son, I'm sure there shouldn't be any problem on that part"

Officer Cox seemed to be thinking about the suggestion.

"Fine" she said "I will send someone to check everything tomorrow morning, and if all goes well, somebody else will be bringing little Milo in the afternoon."

"Right" Dan nodded.

"Goodbye Mr. Humphrey. We'll keep in touch regarding the evolution of the trial."

Once they were gone, Dan stared at the door for a little while. The past had just come and slapped him in the face. He realized that he had always considered everything that had happened before he started dating Blair as irrelevant.

He turned to Sonja. She was still looking at him. She seemed disappointed.

"Sonja…"

"No, Dan." Sonja shook her head. "I don't want to hear it. We have been married for two years. You had two years to tell me about it. I don't believe it just slipped your mind."

"It's not that simple"

"Then I don't want to know. I'm tired of all these stories between your family and your friends. All the disputes, the scandals. I didn't sign up for this."

Dan took a deep breath, tried to calm down.

"Actually, you did. The day you married me, remember?"

Dan thought it was unfair for her to be mad at him. Did she really believe he was going to let Milo live with strangers when he had always had a home here, long before she did? However, she had the right to feel hurt that Dan didn't tell him about that part of his life. Especially now that it was dropping on them with no signs of warning.

Dan thought that letting her cool off was the best option and that day, he took Ombeline to the zoo, and then to visit his mother in Hudson. When he got back home at night, Sonja had already gone to bed.

The following day, an agent from the child services came at 8:00 am sharp. Dan was ready, and Sonja reluctantly sat next to him to go through the interrogatory. Then the agent took a tour of the loft, turning up his nose at some items in his vinyl collection or on his desk. But he approved openly Ombeline's room.

He gave them all the authorization they needed within an hour. Dan's heart couldn't seem to slow down. Everything was happening so fast. When he had woken up the previous day, Milo had been about the last thing on his mind. And now, he couldn't stop thinking about him. About how much he had probably changed. About how hard it would be on him, with his mother in jail.

After the agent left, Dan went to his father, to tell him the news. Then he went grocery shopping, to be able to prepare a Bolognese for dinner. Ombeline loved it and Dan was hoping Milo would too. When he got back to the loft, Sonja was just getting off the phone. They hadn't talked much that day.

She put the phone away and joined him in the kitchen.

"Listen, Dan" she said "I just wanted to tell you that I think you're doing the right thing."

Dan looked at her while he put the groceries away. Her eyes were watery, but her glance was determined.

"I understand that thinking of Milo was perhaps too painful for you. And you were right, yesterday, by marrying you, I did sign up for things like that. And, Dan, there is nothing else that I want to do more than being there with you"

"Thank you" Dan said. He went to take her hands in his "It means a lot to hear you say that."

Sonja nodded and looked him in the eyes.

"Now, I know about Milo" she said "Is there anything else that you wish to tell me?"

Dan felt as if she was trying to scan through his mind. He took a deep breath and shook his head.

"You know everything" Dan said.

Sonja looked at him for another moment, and then nodded again. She remained silent, preparing her next classes until someone knocked on the door.

Dan's hands were moist as he opened. He did not pay much attention to the adult and his eyes instantly flew down to the boy standing in front of him. He was wearing a summer shirt with impeccably ironed pants and shiny shoes. Milo was looking up to him with an unexpressive face. He had his mother's eyes.

"Hello" Dan said. He squat down in front of Milo and offered him his hand. "I know you can't remember me, but I remember you"

"_Du bist nicht mein Vater_" Milo answered.

Dan looked at Milo, then to the adult accompanying him.

"He had a German nanny" the woman said "She taught him how to speak German and it's the only language he's been using since we got him."

"I don't speak German" Dan said, cursing Georgina for not choosing an Italian nanny.

"He said that you're not his father" Sonja said behind him.

Dan turned toward her. She was standing there, with Ombeline in her arms.

"You speak German?" he asked

"A little" Sonja shrugged.

Then she went to kneel in front Milo and talked to him.

"They said that because his name was on a paper, he was my father" Milo answered her in English. "But he's not. Philip is my real father."

"Milo, listen" Dan cleared his throat "I don't want to replace Philip. I would have no right to. But I'm the one who will take care of you until this thing with your mother clears out. I've taken care of you before, and I will do it as many times and as long as I have to in the future. Is that okay with you?"

Milo looked at him warily, and then took his hand in his.

"My name is Milo Humphrey. Nice to meet you" he said as he shook Dan's hand.

Dan laughed and looked at Sonja, who was smiling.

"I'm Dan Humphrey" Dan said. "And this is my wife, Sonja. And the girl she's holding is Ombeline. She's my daughter."

Ombeline had been looking at Milo with the most curious face. Milo offered her his hand for her to shake, but Ombeline buried her face shyly into Sonja's chest.

"Is he going to be my big brother?" she asked Sonja in a whisper.

Sonja looked at Dan and Dan looked at Milo. Milo's eyes remained on Ombeline.

"I don't have a sister" he said "I can be your brother if you want"

Ombeline smiled shyly and went to take his hand in hers.

"Come meet Mr. Freezoo" she said, pulling him inside the loft with her.

"Wait" Milo said. He turned toward the woman who had taken him "You can go, now. I'm not thanking you for the way you took care of me. The food was terrible."

Then he followed Ombeline inside. The woman's smile disappeared and she gave Dan a warning look.

"Good luck with that one"

Dan closed the door behind her, after getting Milo's bag inside. Then he turned to Sonja.

"I'm gonna start preparing dinner" he said.

"I'll be in the bedroom" she simply answered.

Dan motioned to take her hand in his, but she walked away too fast. With a sigh, he started getting everything ready for the Bolognese, while listening to Ombeline introducing all of her toys to Milo.

His heart was filled with an overpowering love for them. He knew Milo would not stay forever, and he was planning on signing the parental rights over to Philip if he agreed, but Dan felt happy that he had been able to give Ombeline that one thing she wanted and that he had thought impossible. Then he realized it was going to be a nightmare when she would have to live them both to go back the Geneva the following week.

When the dinner was ready, Dan called everyone from the living room where he had settled the plates and Ombeline came almost running. Milo followed her with a careful pace and Sonja got out of the bedroom. She had changed clothes, Dan noticed.

Ombeline immediately attacked her meal, while Sonja took her time, eating the spaghettis by little groups and Milo just looked at his plate.

"Is there something wrong?" Dan asked him.

"Ich möchte nichts essen" Milo said.

Dan instantly turned to Sonja who swallowed before translating.

"He says he doesn't want to eat."

"Why not?" Dan asked "Look, Ombeline is enjoying it"

Milo shook his head and said something else in German. Sonja took a deep breath and reached to pat him on the hand.

"Me too" she told him.

"What did he say?" Dan asked

"He misses his home"

Dan was then torn between comforting Milo, and ask Sonja why she had answered 'me too'. He chose to take care of Milo first. He would have plenty of time to fight with Sonja later. Eventually, he got Milo to try a bite. Then probably because he was hungry, Milo kept eating, and eating, until he finished his plate.

After dinner, Dan took care of the two children. He showered them, made them brush their teeth and took them both to Ombeline' bed which was big enough for the two. Still, Dan made a mental note to go buy another bed in the morning.

When he left the children's room, Sonja was standing in the living room. She had her shoes and her jacket on and a traveling bag was next to her feet on the floor.

"What are you doing?" Dan asked.

"I'm leaving" she answered, as if it was completely normal.

"Where? Why?" Dan asked, annoyed and confused.

"First to Gwen's house. Then I'll be spending the summer in Finland." Sonja said. "As to why, think, Dan. You know the answer."

Dan didn't say anything. She couldn't be talking about what he was thinking.

"I had a call from Chuck today" Sonja said, and Dan closed his eyes. "Ah, I see that you get it now"

"Sonja, please listen to me."

"I asked you, Dan. I told you I was willing to stay with you if you were honest with me. And I asked you _twice_ if you were seeing Blair…"

"We ended it last summer, Sonja. It's been almost a year. I didn't want to jeopardize what we had for a stupid mistake."

"A mistake that you kept repeating for months, if Chuck told me the truth" Sonja said.

She wasn't crying, and she didn't even seem angry. Just utterly disappointed.

"I'm going, Dan"

"No, Sonja…"

"Yes Dan. I'm going. Don't try to hold me back. Don't be more of a hypocrite than you already are."

Those were her last words to him. After the door closed, Dan stood there. For half an hour, it seemed. Perhaps more. He wanted to scream. He wanted to grab anything and throw it on the floor, against the walls. He wanted to break things, to rip things, to tear things.

He wanted to go back in time and ignore Blair's text on Ombeline second birthday. He wanted to go back in time and ignore her call on her wedding day. He wanted to go back in time and give up his seat to Nénette at Film Forum. He wanted to go back in time and ignore finding Serena's phone at the beginning of Junior Year.

But the ironic thing was that, most of all he wanted the pain to stop. And the only one who could make that happen was the one he had been trying to forget for three years and ten months now. But Dan ignored the warning his brain sent him and he moved. He went to take his phone and dialed.

/

When Blair hung up, she had a hard time repressing her tears. She had never heard Dan cry before. She hated herself for being the cause of his misfortune.

But hearing him cry had made her realize one thing. She was not happy. She had not been happy in a while. She had only tried to be. It hadn't worked, and now, it was time to take control again.

She didn't knock before she got into Chuck's study. When he turned to her, she was sure he could see on her face that she knew. They looked at each other and Blair wondered how was it that this face had been part of her life for so long; yet still looked so unfamiliar.

"It hurt you" she said.

"What are you talking about?" Chuck's voice was hoarse.

"What happened between me and Dan. It hurt you more than you want to pretend."

Chuck didn't answer.

"You want to know how I know?" Blair asked "When you told me, you didn't try to play games, or to make me feel guilty by implying things. You just stated it, point-blank"

Again, Chuck remained silent.

"You had no right of telling Sonja" Blair's voice had turned bitter "It was over. You had no right to hurt him this way."

"It was over, you say?" Chuck asked. "Then why did I find on your computer things that he wrote to you, telling you how much he missed making love to you?"

"You went through my things?" Blair asked, appalled.

"I didn't mean to. You were out and your mother called. She needed you to send her some files. So I looked for them, and then I found it. How long do you think you're going to treat me this way, Blair?"

"And how long do you think you're going to treat me like you've been doing _for the past ten years?_" Blair shouted. "A decade, Chuck. That's how long we've been playing this game and we keep going back to square one."

She took a step closer to him.

"Do you know what Dan did, today? Before you ruined his marriage, he accepted to take care of Georgina Sparks' son, because she is currently in jail and the kid has nowhere to go. Why do you keep trying to ruin good people?"

"Dan Humphrey is far from being the flawless human being you think he is, Blair."

"I know that. Dan has hurt me. But no one has ever hurt me like you did, Chuck. Especially today, when you decided to go after the father of my child."

Blair took off her engagement ring.

"Over the past ten years, I have loved you in many different ways" she said "But right now, all I feel toward you is a burning hatred. And even though I am sorry I hurt you by seeing Dan behind your back, I hope that you feel as bad as I felt when I was alone for two weeks in Italy; when I was standing in front of Jack; when I was trying to escape to Paris; when I was standing in your elevator with my cheek cut by broken glass."

She could see Chuck's chest lifting and dropping erratically.

"And I know someday, I will get passed that" she went on "I know someday I will stop hating you. But I'll never be able to go back to loving you. All I will feel will be a mere affection."

She walked closer, only to put the ring into his palm.

"Goodbye, Chuck. I'm going back home."

As she turned around and started to walk away, she could hear the ring fall on the wooden floor.

"He'll never take you back" she heard Chuck say.

She stopped and turned around, only to tell him;

"I don't care. As long as I make sure he knows how much I love him, it's good. Love is always enough, Chuck. I hope you realize it, someday."

/

Dan was woken up by someone shaking lightly his shoulder. When he opened his eyes, he could see Ombeline and Milo standing next to the bed. Dan turned to the other side of the bed. Nothing. No one. It wasn't a nightmare. Sonja had really left.

A loud banging on the front door rang through the entire loft.

"It's been going on for a while" Milo said when he saw Dan jump out of the bed.

Dan ran to the door and opened it. Nate was standing there. He looked pale and his eyes were slightly redder than they should be.

"Nate?"

"Hey, man. I know we haven't talked in a good while…but there's something that I have to tell you"

Dan moved to let him in.

"What is going on?" he asked.

Nate tried to say something, and then restrained himself.

"Let's sit down" he then said.

Dan crossed his arms and remained standing.

"Nate, you're scaring me. Tell me what's going on"

Nate ran a hand through his hair and sighed deeply.

"Dan…there's been an accident…"

Nate didn't continue his sentence right away, but he didn't need to for Dan to understand that an important part of his life was about to be ripped away from him.

* * *

**Still one chapter to go, things might not be what they seem. I'm curious to know what you guys think will happen in the next chapter so please, leave feeback! See ya at the next chapter that I will be posting with the epilogue. **

**Bisous!**


	6. Forward

**_Hey guys, here is the last chapter. This one is about reconnection and taking steps forward, so it's much happier than the last one, but with lots of dialogues. I hope you won't find it too boring._**

**_When I wrote the OS The Kraken, a lot of people asked me to continue it so they could see what happens at lunch. And since I have no idea of a sequel for this particular one shot, I decided to make it a part of this chapter. I still have things to say, but I'll let you read and see you at the end._**

* * *

What surprised Dan the most was how much Jenny cried. It was true that they hadn't known anyone close to them to die yet, except their grandfathers, when they were both very little. But Jenny couldn't seem to be able to control the ceaseless flow of tears when Dan told her. Perhaps because it had happened so unexpectedly.

The accident got Dan thinking again about how many unexpected things had happened to him over the last few years. Absolutely nothing had gone according to the plan. There had always been a game changer, at the worst time possible. And those numerous unplanned events had led him to be sitting there, wearing a black suit, surrounded by people he barely knew, but who came to pay their respect to the gone woman. The woman no one there really knew, though. Not like he did, at least.

Nate was sitting next to him, his jaw clenched and his eyes a bit red, just like Dan's. Dan understood his pain; there was a time when he had shared with her an unshakable bond. No matter how much they had grown apart, her death had probably got him thinking too.

Nate stood up, sniffing.

"I'm going to check on Ivy and the kids" he said "I'll be right back."

Dan just nodded, thinking about Ombeline and Milo that Lily was taking care of. The kids understood that something bad had happened, something sad, but they couldn't really get what it implied. Especially not Ombeline. She was so young. She would not be able to understand that kind of things for at least five years.

Dan wondered if the delicate subject of death had come up between her and Blair, and that he didn't know about it. He realized that there was a good chance he could never explain it to his daughter. He was a writer, and yet, he had no idea how to put into words the feeling of having someone one moment, and losing them forever in a matter of seconds. How you couldn't blame anyone for it. It was just the story of a woman, who had to work two jobs to pay college for her sons and who fell asleep behind the wheel. She hadn't meant to hurt them specifically, or anyone else for that matter. It was just like that.

He didn't move when he felt someone sitting next to him, but his tense muscles melted when that person put a hand on his shoulder. He turned to the right and was pulled into the softer of gazes, a haven that had taken the material form of brown eyes. God, he had missed those eyes.

"You're here" he said.

Blair smiled lightly and nodded. He took her hand in his.

"I'm sure Vanessa would have never expected you to fly back from Geneva so you could attend her funeral" Dan said with a laugh.

"Actually, I got the news when I landed in New York" Blair said "But I would have come anyway."

"Really?"

"She's the one who got _Inside_ published" Blair shrugged "Without her, no one would have ever known how great of an inspiration I can be"

Dan laughed, because even in a moment like this one, Blair was still Blair.

"Besides, she was a big part of your life, and I like to think that so am I."

"Of course you are, Blair" Dan said.

"Therefore, I thought I should be there to support you. I know how overly emotional you can get."

Dan squeezed her hand in appreciation.

"Then why are you back?" he asked "I was supposed to fly over to Geneva with Ombeline at the end of the week"

When Blair opened her mouth it was to say something she instantly restrained herself from saying. She wasn't ready to let the reality of her actions settle yet.

"Dan" she finally said "You can't imagine how sorry I am. About Sonja."

Dan's throat tightened. Vanessa's death had almost made him forget about his wife leaving him.

"You're not Chuck" he said "And before you say anything else, I am as responsible as you are for what happened. I have no one to blame but myself."

Blair was not going to tell him that he was wrong. It was indeed, what had happened. He had betrayed his wife, and for what? Some mere glimpse of a life with the two of them back together. Blair's throat tightened. In the end, she knew she wasn't even worth it, and his wife still left him.

"I called her to tell her about Vanessa" Dan said "She sounded really sad, but she said she wasn't going to come today. I think she knew you would be there."

"I left Chuck"

Dan turned to face her.

"You left Chuck?"

Blair nodded "That's why I'm back" she swallowed "After you told me what he did, I realized that I didn't have a future with him. At least, one that wasn't good enough for me and Ombeline. So I gave him his engagement ring back. It's over. Finally."

Dan couldn't help but give a light snort.

"I'm sorry, Blair…but it's never really over with you and Chuck. You of all people should know that."

Blair frowned.

"It is, Dan" she said, cross. "I am done with him. I do not want to go back with him. As long as I have Ombeline, everything is fine."

Dan looked at her for a moment, his eyes analyzing her facial expression. Then he nodded, rubbing the back of his neck.

"How come we are both so bad at relationships?" he asked

Before Blair could think of an answer, someone in the room called the attention. It was José, Vanessa's fiancé.

"Hi everyone" he said with a clear voice. "For those of you who don't know me, my name is José, and Vanessa and I were supposed to get married next month. I wanted to thank you for being here today, for supporting her family"

José went to stand next to Vanessa's mother and put an arm around her.

"Vanessa was a…the most wonderful woman I have ever met. She was creative, always so happy and she tried to be the most positive she could, in any situation. When we met in Barcelona, three years ago, it was in a Cuban bar. She was wearing a yellow dress, with flowers on it. I taught her how to dance salsa. She was a very quick learner. And she loved dancing salsa. So I know that it's the use to wear black and talk low during funerals, but this is not how I want to remember Vanessa. It's not how I want you to remember her. So I'm going to ask you, if it's not too much, to go back home, and change into yellow, orange, red, turquoise or any other color you can find in your wardrobe that isn't black. And then you can come back here, and we'll show some of her movies and we'll dance salsa. How does it sound?"

No one talked for a few seconds, each was considering the suggestion. Then Carter Baizen stood up, took Serena by the hand and walked toward José.

"We'll be back in twenty" he told him.

"Ten for me" Vanessa's sister, Ruby, said.

"I'll bring some of the videos I have of Dan and her when they were little" Rufus said.

And soon everyone was moving, promising to come back with brighter colors on. Dan looked at Blair who was looking at José.

"Are you going to come back?" he asked her.

Blair shrugged.

"What the hell? It's not like I have something better to do."

"Careful" Dan laughed "Vanessa's family and José don't know what kind of relationship you had with her, some of the things you say might be taken the wrong way."

"Well if I get any complains, I'll just tell them about the day you had a threesome with her. And we'll see what will be taken the wrong way"

With a last smirk, Blair turned around and left.

Dan went to pick up Ombeline and Milo, brought them back to the loft with him, and changed into a Lincoln Hawk red shirt and jeans. When he got back to the memorial hall, it was like it was a different place. The picture of Vanessa displayed was the only thing that hadn't changed. The food was different. Instead of amuse-bouche there were full plates of tofu dogs, and tortillas and sushi, all those things Vanessa loved to eat. There was music too, Buena Vista Social Club. A television had been installed and Dan could see Jenny and himself chasing a squirrel in Central Park on the screen.

Ombeline seemed to like the atmosphere around, but when she screamed it wasn't because of the ambiance. She left Dan's hand and ran toward her mother who had just come back. Blair squat down in her yellow summer dress to pick up her daughter in her arms and gave her little pecks on the face.

"Who is this woman?" Milo asked

"It's Ombeline's mother" Dan said.

He hadn't seen Blair and Ombeline together for so long, he was just now realizing how much he had missed it.

Someone tapped on his shoulder and when he turned around, Ruby was smiling at him. It was incredible how much she looked like Vanessa, only with pink highlights and –Dan couldn't help notice –bigger breasts. Nate had already made a comment about that.

"Wanna dance with me? She would have loved it."

Dan laughed. Ruby was right; Vanessa would have gotten all giggly at the sight of her sister and her oldest friend dancing salsa together. So he gladly accepted, after sending Milo to Rufus.

Dan was happy with José's initiative.

The only way he could truly say goodbye to Vanessa was by dancing with her sister while overhearing his father telling the story about the time she brought them burnt risotto.

/

When Dan got into the bar, Nate was already there. They hadn't talked much since the funeral, and Dan was a bit nervous about this sudden reconnection. But he knew he didn't have to worry much; Nate had been the one calling him to suggest they meet.

"Hey man" he said sitting next to him.

Nate gave him a light smile and pushed toward him a pint of beer.

"Thanks for coming" he said

"Yeah, well…thanks for calling"

There was an awkward silence and Dan tried to drown it with a gulp of beer.

"How is your family doing?" he asked

"Good" Nate nodded "The kids are with my mom and Ivy said she was having a girls-night-out. She was pretty excited, she's been stuck home with them for a while. How are Milo and Ombeline?"

"Ombeline is doing very well. I think she's really happy to be back in New York. And Milo is…doing as fine as a kid who has been dragged away from his home to a complete stranger's with his mom currently in jail. But he's been bonding with a kid in our neighborhood, Tyler. They read comics together. He is actually having a sleepover with him, tonight."

"Is he still speaking in German?"

"Sometimes, when he is really upset with me. I've been thinking of taking classes. Being a father to a boy is much more complicated than a girl."

"Tell me about it" Nate chuckled.

And another silence during which they both stared down at their beers.

"And how are you doing, with Sonja leaving?" Nate asked with a low voice.

Dan took a deep breath.

"I haven't talked to her since Vanessa…yeah. But her lawyer called me yesterday, said I should be receiving the divorce papers soon."

"Man…I'm sorry"

"Don't be. It's not your fault. You were right about everything"

Nate shook his head.

"It doesn't make the way I reacted okay" he said "It's just that I really liked Sonja and Chuck is still one of my oldest friends so…I didn't really know how to handle knowing about…"

Dan nodded to show Nate he understood and to stop him from taking his sentence further.

"Do you miss her?" Nate asked.

"I do, sometimes" Dan nodded "It just made me realized that I had a whole life organized with her. Going on walks on Sunday mornings, pizza for breakfast. And she used to handle most of the laundry. Man, how do you wash a pillow?"

Nate chuckled and took a sip.

"I wasn't talking about Sonja" he said

Dan frowned.

"Vanessa?"

"Dan, come on" Nate looked at him with an insistent glare.

Dan coughed, searching his mind for another subject.

"I saw that Details did a piece on you. Hottest Editor-In-Chief, not bad. And you made the hottest daddies of the Upper East Side list on GQ."

Nate laughed out loud this time.

"Well, man, I mean look at me. Does it really surprise you?"

"Ha! No, it does not." Dan laughed with him.

"How is the writing going?"

The conversation felt lighter, merrier, easier.

"I turned in a manuscript today" Dan said. "Vanessa kept telling me to do it so…"

"Dan Humphrey, finally turning in a third novel. What aspect of the Upper East Side have you decided to explore this time?"

"None" Dan shook his head with a smile. "It's more of a children's book, I think."

Nate seemed surprised and then looked past Dan at the entrance of the bar; his eyes widened some more.

"Hum, Dan. I was kind of nervous about meeting you tonight, so when Ivy told me that she was doing a girls-night-out, I never asked with whom or where"

"So?" Dan asked, wondering how the conversation had gotten there.

Nate grimaced a little and nodded toward the entrance. Dan turned around to see Ivy, Serena, and Blair walking in, all heels and slinky dresses. Ivy spotted them, and rolled her eyes before walking toward them.

"Are you stalking me?" she asked Nate.

Nate stood up to give her a kiss on the lips.

"We were here first, woman" he told her.

"What do we have here?" Serena asked with a bright smile, looking at them. "Look at you two, dressed so smart for your date together"

Dan would have gladly teased back, but he couldn't keep his eyes away from Blair. She was looking back at him with the slightest smile.

"Hi Dan"

"Hey"

They stared at each other for a moment again, and perhaps the others had sensed something because Serena said that she was going to order drinks, Nate said that he was going to find them a table and Ivy said that she had to powder her nose. Within a few seconds, they were all gone, leaving Dan and Blair in a heavy silence.

"You look very nice" Dan told her.

"Thank you" Blair smiled "You don't look so bad yourself."

She took a seat next to him and rearranged her hair. They had grown, almost back to the length they had before she left for Geneva.

"Where is Ombeline?" Dan asked

"Home with Dorota. We renewed her contract this morning."

"She must be really happy that you're back."

"I am happy to be back" Blair said with a nod. "Do you know where you want to have Ombeline's birthday party this year? If you want, we can do it at the loft."

"No, the penthouse is fine"

"Okay"

Blair ordered a glass of wine and accepted when Dan took out his wallet to pay for it.

"Dan, I've been meaning to tell you…"

"We should go to lunch" Dan interrupted her.

He truly did not know what had possessed him to ask her out, but the words had come out of his mouth like it was the most natural thing. Blair seemed surprised.

"You want to take me to lunch?"

Dan swallowed and nodded "Yeah. I mean I'm pretty busy right now, so it won't be anytime soon but…we should definitely go to lunch. It'll give us time to talk."

"Talk about what?"

"About us."

Blair took a deep breath and swallowed half of her glass of wine. That was exactly what she wanted; talking about them. But the fear of a divergence of point of view on that particular subject was eating her from the inside.

"It's fine with me" she said nervously "When you're ready, give me a call"

Dan looked at her, trying to figure out if she was angry or not.

"I will"

Always the one with perfect timing, Nate came to stand next to them.

"Guys, I've found a table"

"It's okay" Blair got down from her seat and smoothed her dress. Dan's eyes followed her hands roaming up and down the red fabric on her hips and thighs. He had to catch his breath.

"We're not going to stay, I think." Blair said "Ivy wanted a night just with the girls. And you guys probably have a lot to catch up on, so…"

She looked over at Serena who was flirting with the bartender.

"Carter Baizen" she said loudly

They all saw Serena's body stiffen and she rolled her eyes. With a last smile to the bartender, she came to join them.

"Relax" she said "I used to go out with him, we were just reconnecting."

Ivy joined them too and passed an arm around Nate's waist.

"So how about we find a place with lest testosterone?" she told Blair and Serena.

"Yes" Blair said, with a little too much enthusiasm, Dan thought. "Let's get out of here."

"I love you" Nate told Ivy before giving her a kiss.

"Gentlemen, have a good night" Serena told them "And please, behave. Nate doesn't understand that he's passed the age of drunk-dialing to tell jokes about Nazis."

"Come on, at least I stopped with the jokes about black people"

"Much to Nana's dismay, by the way" Dan told him.

They all laughed about how wrong it was that Dan's grandmother still had prejudices against black people. Then the three women said goodbye and Dan watched Blair go away, wondering what the future held for them next, and if they would have a say in what would happen.

/

Dan's third book came out on Ombeline's birthday. Blair had not heard much about it and she took Ombeline with her at the bookstore, in the morning. It was one of the first books she saw displayed when she entered the store. She recognized the title before she even noticed his name on the cover.

_Irina and Paulin_.

The story Dan had written for Ombeline's first birthday, and that they never had the chance to read to her, together. Blair knew it to be a short story, but flipping through the pages, she could see Dan had invented much more adventures of the two friends. He probably had intended for it to come out that particular day.

Blair bought it and went back home with Ombeline, to get ready for the party. While Dorota was taking care of the decoration downstairs and Eleanor was dressing Ombeline, Blair locked herself in her room, and sat on her bed with the book open. On the first page, there was an author's note that she had not seen in the store, and that made her breath itched.

_To Vanessa, my very own Paulin, looking down from the moon to Ombeline, my very own Irina, herself living in the protecting halo of her mother, Blair, my very own earth._

Blair didn't have the time to allow herself to nuzzle into the warmth the note had brought around her, because the guests had started to arrive. When she went downstairs and saw Dan, talking happily with his sister, she couldn't help but break a large smile.

They didn't exchange much word, just a single squeeze of hands while Ombeline blew the four candles on her Tutti Frutti cake.

Fall naturally led to winter; Blair was happy to be spending it in New York. Winter in Geneva had been like a dream, with the chocolate and the several hundred years old architecture covered with immaculate snow. But winter in New York was so much better, with the lights in Time Square, the people at Rockefeller Center, the children in Central parks and the shows on Broadway.

She spent Christmas Eve with Serena only, who had just had a fight with Lily and wanted nothing to do with her mother. They spent the night next to the fire, watching every Christmas episodes of their favorite sitcoms; they drank mulled wine and both sang Christmas carols when the clock rang midnight.

Ombeline was in Hudson with Dan, and he was supposed to drop her off in the morning, before going to visit Georgina with Milo. So when Blair's phone rang at two in the morning and she saw his name popping on the screen, she felt a mix of worry and excitement.

"I have to take this" she told Serena.

"Fine" she said "I'm gonna call Carter"

Blair went to the kitchen and pressed the little green button.

"Humphrey, what's going on?"

"_I just put Ombeline and Milo to bed, and I was getting ready to go to sleep myself_."

"You just put her to bed?" Blair tried to hold down her annoyance "It's two in the morning, she's never going to make it through lunch tomorrow"

"_I'm sorry, we were just having so much fun. Come on, Blair, it's Christmas_."

Blair pursed her lips and leaned against the kitchen counter.

"Fine" she said "So why are you calling?"

"_I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas_" Dan said, and Blair swore she could hear the smile on his lips. "_How is your night, so far_?"

"Extremely pleasant" she said "I'm with Serena at the penthouse. Carter is with his family and she had a fight with Lily"

"_Yeah, Jenny told me about it. Speaking of Jenny, guess what_?"

"Do I care?" Blair asked, rolling freely her eyes since he couldn't see her.

Dan chuckled.

"_Probably not, but I wanna keep talking to you and this is a subject like another_"

Blair sighed and tried to ignore what his words stirred into her.

"What about Jenny?"

"_She's engaged_"

"Uh. Exactly what I thought; I don't care"

"_Come on, Blair_" Dan laughed "_She is providing a new member to your daughter's family_."

"I hadn't thought of it this way" Blair said "Who's the guy?"

"_Apparently some Australian singer. Beau something…"_

"This is so Jenny to get engaged to someone named Beau"

"_I know, right?"_

They laughed together while discussing Jenny's wedding plans. When the subject was worn out, a light silence settled between them. Perhaps it was the pure stillness of the night, or the mulled wine, but Blair felt a wave of confidence taking her over and she said;

"About that lunch"

She heard noises that indicated her that Dan was getting into bed.

"_I know_" he finally said "_I haven't had much time on my hand, yet. I started with the adoption papers for Philip and then there's the divorce…_"

"I see" Blair simply said.

She looked at Serena walking into the kitchen with red eyes. She had grown way too attached to Carter for her own sake, Blair thought. She opened her arms to welcome her friend into a hug, still holding the phone over her ear.

"_Blair_" Dan said "_When we have the conversation we ought to, I want to be free, and to be able to think fully. This is something that is worth my whole attention. You are worth my whole attention_"

Blair didn't answer, but stroked Serena gently on the back.

"_So I promise you, we are going to have that lunch. And we are going to talk_"

"About us"

"_About us_"

Blair took a deep breath. She had rarely felt so much pressure.

"I have to go" she said "Merry Christmas, Dan"

"_Merry Christmas, Blair_"

Blair hung up and ignored the smug that had been lingering on Serena's face since she had pronounced Dan's name.

/

It was the day he was signing the divorce papers. Blair had been told so by Serena who had been told by Lily who had been told by Rufus.

She wasn't the one getting divorced, so Blair didn't really understand why it was the first thing she had thought about when she woke up that morning. But it was either that or thinking about why it was an important day to everyone else in the city.

Her phone ringing dragged her out of her thought.

"_Blair_" Serena said "_Tell Dorota to prepare breakfast, I'm coming over_"

She sounded excited. Blair groaned. She was probably going to tell her about her Valentine's Day plans with Carter. She quickly got dressed and checked to see if Ombeline was still sleeping. She smiled at the sight of her daughter, so peaceful with her arms around Mr. Freezoo.

When Serena arrived, she had a bright smile on her face. They went to sit in the dining room and chatted while Dorota put breakfast on the table. When Blair dismissed her, Serena took Blair's hand in hers.

"I have a secret for you to hold"

Blair got excited. A gossip was exactly what she needed.

"What is it?" she asked eagerly.

Serena bit her smiling lips.

"I'm pregnant"

Blair's mouth fell open.

"Are you serious? How?"

Serena gave her a knowing look, still smiling and left Blair's hand to attack her scrambled eggs.

"I mean" Blair paused, looking attentively at her friend. "Are you happy about it?"

"To tell you the truth, we've kind of been trying."

"Trying?" Blair was incredulous "But you guys aren't even…"

"If you say 'married', I swear I will write Ombeline's name on my hand and slap you with it."

Blair closed her mouth, trying to contain her laugh.

"Fair enough. Well, if it was planned, I'm happy for you"

"Thanks" Serena said

"How far along are you?" Blair asked

"About six weeks. No one knows, except you, and Carter of course. So please, keep it to yourself until I tell my mom."

"Where are you guys going to live?" Blair asked

"We were looking for an apartment in the Upper East Side, not very far from his grandfather's, who he wants to reconnect with."

"Even after the awarded movie that he made and which exposed his grandfather as one of the biggest dick in New York?"

"Don't see the logic in it either" Serena shrugged "But I don't care as much as I get him, my apartment overlooking Central Park and my little Adeline"

Blair laughed.

"What name do you have in mind for a boy?"

"I don't. Carter is taking care of it"

"Serena! No! He'll probably call him Vito"

"Oh it wouldn't be that bad, would it? A little Mafioso in the family. We already have Chuck, though"

As soon as the name left her mouth, Serena closed her eyes and seemed to be silently cursing herself. Blair shook her head.

"It's okay" she said

"Have you talked to him recently?" Serena asked.

"No" Blair shook her head again. "Not since I left Geneva."

Serena nodded and took Blair's hand in hers.

"Hey, you know that, no matter what happens, I'll always be there for you and Ombeline, right?"

Blair reached out to take her in her arms over the table.

"I know" she whispered "I love you, S"

"I love you too, B"

/

Dan dialed Blair's number and taped nervously his fingers on his desk.

"_I'm busy, Humphrey, so if it's not about Ombeline, you better make this quick_."

"What are you doing for lunch tomorrow?"

There was a pause at the other end, but he could still hear her breathe.

"_I haven't planned anything_" Blair finally said.

Dan coughed a little.

"Can you meet me in Williamsburg then?" his voice was slightly trembling.

It felt like the first time he asked her to come see a movie with him after Nénette. He was expecting a protest due to the meeting place he had suggested, but Blair only said;

"_I can do that_"

"Okay. Let's say 12:30?"

"_Fine"_

"Fine."

"_See you, then"_

"Yeah. See you then."

Dan tried not to give it too much thought until he would actually see Blair the next day. However, he found himself calling Nate twice in the morning to ask him what shirt would look better with his beige pants. When Nate got finally sick of giving fashion advice, Ivy knocked on Dan's door and helped him choose, with a little smirk on her face. She did not say anything, though. She left with Milo and said she would take him to the cinema.

When Dan arrived at the restaurant, Blair was already there. She was standing in front of the window, with her purse hanging in one hand, the hem of her summer dress twirled by the light wind. Dan would never get over how movie-like she was sometimes. It was as if everything about her had been studied so she could become the focus point of his eyes.

When she saw him and he smiled, she didn't smile back. Her lips pressed together and her eyes looked over his outfit.

"You finally dropped the plaid jacket" she said

"It's still at home. I can always go back and put it on, if you like" Dan answered.

He saw her face break into a light smile.

"I think it'll be fine, thank you"

They stared at each other for a little moment.

"Shall we?" Dan said, gesturing toward the door.

Blair nodded and made her way inside the restaurant, stopping just so a waiter could show them their seats. Dan pulled her chair before sitting himself. They both went directly to inspect the menu, even though Dan didn't need to, since he was a regular at this restaurant.

"You should try the beef" he said still not looking up.

"I think I'll go with the fish" Blair answered, not looking up either.

When the waiter came back to ask them their order, Dan asked for a whisky and Blair for a mojito. They gave each other an awkward smile before looking out the window in silence. Their drinks had been on the table for only five seconds before Blair took a large gulp, emptying half of her glass. Dan watched as her face cringed and she put a hand to her mouth. Then she exhaled deeply and looked him in the eyes.

"Where do we start?" she asked.

"Where do we start what?"

Dan did know what she was talking about, but he was hoping to buy some time to think with this question.

"Dan" Blair gave him an intense glare "Where do we start?"

Dan sighed deeply and leaned back on his chair.

"I think…" he started but stopped to wonder if he would regret what he was going to say next "I think we need to start with the breakup. There is a reason why we aren't together anymore, right?"

"Right" Blair nodded "Although, you're the one who broke up."

"You would have, sooner or later"

"I wouldn't have, Dan."

Dan looked at her, feeling a little annoyance building. He was certain that they were both unhappy with their relationship at the time when everything happened. He couldn't believe she was making him look like the heartless creature.

"Fine" he said "You would have stayed with me, but for the wrong reasons."

"What are those reasons, may I ask?" Blair seemed a bit annoyed too.

"Because you were scared to raise Ombeline alone. You were scared I was going to bail on you."

"I was not" Blair's body stiffened.

"Blair" Dan said "It's me. I know you, I know how you act when you're scared and when you stop believing in yourself"

Blair didn't answer but drank the other half of her drink.

"When I broke up with you" Dan went on "It wasn't because I was tired of you. But I had the feeling that we had stopped working. And the fact that you would stay with me just because of Ombeline was killing me, because it isn't who you are, Blair. I wanted you to know that you don't need anyone to be yourself. Ending things was hard for me, but it would have been hypocrite to pretend like things were still the same. And it would not have been fair to Ombeline."

There was a silence during which Blair looked down to her glass. What she was thinking was a complete mystery to Dan. When she looked up again, she seemed hurt.

"It's so strange to think about it" she said "It seems like it was…a thousand years ago."

"It really does" Dan nodded.

The waiter came back with their entrées. As Blair was putting her napkin on her lap, Dan started on his drink.

"I think we've covered the break-up" he said

"Wait" Blair was looking at him hesitantly. "When you broke up with me" she said "did you still love me?"

Dan frowned, because to him, the answer was utterly obvious.

"I will always love you, Blair. I told you so right before you left for Geneva. Perhaps in a different way than at the beginning, but I don't think I will ever stop loving you"

Blair swallowed and tried to kill the butterflies in her stomach.

"I feel the same, you know" she told him.

Dan gave her a light smile.

"Is this the part where we say 'fuck this' and run away to the Bahamas together?" he asked jokingly.

Blair turned up her nose "I hate the Bahamas. And don't think you'll get away with the talk."

"At least I tried" Dan shrugged. "Alright, I wanna talk about something."

Blair grew nervous again.

"Chuck" Dan said.

It was Blair's turn to frown.

"What about Chuck? I told you, it's over."

"I just keep wondering why you always go back to him" Dan avoided her glare "It just seems…like you can never get enough of him. And I know everything he has done to you in the past, you are the one who told me. So…could you explain to me…why?"

"Dan" Blair wanted to answer right away because she wanted to get over with this subject "When you have known someone your all life and that no matter what you tried to do, this person is always there, you start to think that there is a reason for that. That somehow, fate or some other entity would not keep putting this person on your road if they really had a detrimental effect on you. But it's more of a progressive destruction, and you don't realize it until the harm has been done."

Dan was looking at her so attentively that it made her uncomfortable. She felt exposed, but not in a bad way. She had never been afraid to reveal herself to Dan.

"There was a time when I thought that perhaps I could cure him. Because we've always seen in movies how two messed up people are good for each other. But it wasn't the case. And even though when I got back with him, after Ombeline was born, it was better than it's ever been between us…Chuck will always be Chuck. And I will always be Blair. I think that because we were never able to figure out exactly what was wrong in our relationship, we thought that it didn't matter. At least Chuck did. And he would have never wanted to talk about it like you did. He would have just kept avoiding it as long as he was sure he still had control over me. I realize now that he needed to be in control, always"

"At least he fought for you" Dan said "Even though he didn't use the right methods, he fought for you. I never did. I just let you go"

Blair could hear regret in his voice.

"Chuck fought for the control over me, Dan. It's not the same thing."

"Maybe. But still; two years ago, I promised to prove you that love is enough. And I never did."

Blair shook her head.

"You did, Dan. Not directly, but when you decided to take Milo, it showed the world how you would always care for your friends and family."

She looked down to her plate because she couldn't hold his piercing eyes anymore.

"It's something that I've always admired about you. Once you love someone, you never let them down. You're always ready to give people another chance. You did it with Milo, Serena, Vanessa, Nate…"

She trailed off and started to play with her little tomatoes on her plate.

"It's actually something that we have in common" Dan said.

Blair smiled. To her, Dan was always idealizing her. But it made her feel warm inside, to know that he thought she was as much a good person she thought he was.

"So the breakup, Chuck…" he said as they had both started eating their meals "What else is there to talk about?"

Blair did not want to make him talk about Sonja, if he didn't want to. He had only been divorced for two months.

"I've been thinking about paying piano classes to Ombeline" she said "Then when she'll be big enough, the cello."

"I like it" Dan smiled.

"Really? You don't think it's too snobby?"

"Nah. Cello and piano are two main instruments of jazz music. I still haven't given up on my dreams for her to be a jazz singer."

Blair laughed.

"Give it up, Humphrey, she'll be President, I already told you"

They talked about Ombeline until the main course was served. Then another silence settled and Blair thought it was the right time to mention one of the things she had been dying to tell him.

"I read your last book, you know"

"You did?" Dan was smiling.

"I thought it was adorable" Blair nodded. "I could never picture you writing a children's book, though"

"Why?" Dan asked.

"You are always so gloomy when you write" Blair said, and it made him laugh. "Besides, I think after reading that sex scene in _Inside_, anybody would be incredulous to read a children's book written by the same pen"

"Oh, the sex scene. One the things I've enjoyed writing the most" Dan said.

"I don't doubt that" Blair gave him a mussed smile.

"I hadn't even realized I was in love with you when I wrote it, you know. We had always had such an intellectual relationship, to me sexual attraction was not even imaginable when it came to you."

"Wow…thanks, Humphrey"

Dan laughed at her pouty mouth.

"Oh come on, don't tell me you were craving for sex with me before we started going out."

Blair shrugged.

"Well, I am a curious woman" she said, and Dan's eyebrows went up "And you know, we used to share _everything_ with Serena. So yes, I had heard stories that made me wonder…sometimes."

"Even when you were with Chuck?" Dan didn't know why he had asked that and instantly regretted it.

"Even then" Blair nodded and her voice dropped "Sex with you is very special"

"Is it supposed to be a compliment?" Dan asked with a nervous smile.

"You tell me. The thing is when I had sex with you, it was impossible to hide how I felt about you. And that didn't even scare me"

Blair smiled then, because she could see Dan's cheeks reddening. He let out a nervous laugh, avoiding her eyes.

"I don't think we've ever been that honest with each other before"

Blair just went on eating her fish and they didn't talk until both of their plates were empty. Dan paid the bill and they got out together. After Blair had called a car, she turned to Dan who had his eyes fixed on her.

"So we had the talk" she said "But where does it leave us?"

"Honestly, I have no idea" he stuffed his hands in his pocket and she hit him lightly on the wrist, because she hated when he did that. "I think I'm scared, Blair."

"Scared of what?"

"Of how much…I guess how much I can love you"

Blair swallowed.

"And the possibility that you would not feel the same" he added.

It was the third time since the beginning of lunch he had told her indirectly that he loved her. Blair assumed that, like he said, he might be scared to actually say it. And she understood. She, herself, had rarely felt that frightened before a feeling.

"Hey Dan" she said, because there was still something she wanted to know "When did you realize you loved me?"

Dan was unhinged by the question.

"Man…can I say that I have all my life but I just didn't know it yet?" he asked with a smile

Blair rolled her eyes.

"Intolerable" she said "I'm only asking because for my part, I think I realized it when you took me to that restaurant, when we were in Italy"

"It was suggested by the writing program, Blair" Dan said, laughing. "I didn't do anything special."

"You did. When you asked if I wanted to go, you said '_I hear they have good gelato_'. Like you were trying to use this as the right argument to make me go."

"But Blair…you hate gelato." Dan was starting to get confused.

"Exactly" Blair said "But you were trying to know me. You didn't act like you already did. And that night, you didn't order for me, only suggested. And I remember thinking that I was in love with you. I don't know why I wasn't able to say it until so long after that."

Dan tried to figure out how not to show how much he was touched by her confession. It might have been the most beautiful thing Blair had always said to him, after her calling him "the greatest father" on Ombeline's first birthday. That memory still made him shiver.

"I think I fell for you when we were working at W" he said "I realized that the Blair Waldorf I thought I knew was a complete different person from the Blair stealing the stapler. But the day I realized it might be more than a little crush…you were standing in my loft, in a white dress with green leaves on it. We hadn't talked for an entire summer and still, when you needed to get away, you didn't book a plane, you didn't order a car. You came to me. I can still hear you say '_Take me there'_. At that moment, I thought that I would take you anywhere that could make you smile again."

They looked at each other for a moment after that. Their eyes were anchored in each other's until the car Blair had called pulled next to them.

"Thank God" Blair said "I think we've reached the acceptable amount of cheesiness between two exes."

Dan laughed as he watched the driver open the door for Blair.

"It was a very good initiative, Humphrey" Blair said "I actually expected it to go terribly wrong."

"Me too" Dan said with a laugh "When have we become so civilized?"

Blair just smiled and waved.

"See you, Humphrey"

Dan nodded and watched her get into the car. On his way home, he thought about the fact that they never answered the pending question. Where did the talk leave them?

/

Everything was ready. Dan had checked twice. It was a Sunday afternoon at the beginning of July and the adoption papers had gone through. Milo wasn't legally his anymore. His name wasn't Humphrey. From now on, he would be Milo Becker until the day he died. And Dan would just be this man, who took care of him while his mother couldn't.

They were both sitting in the living room, playing scrabble on the coffee table. Dan had been amazed of how much Milo loved scrabble, so he had offered him a board for his eighth birthday. He could see that Milo had been touched. Their relationship had improved since Dan had started getting German lessons. Therefore, Milo didn't talk in German only when he was upset. Sometimes, it would be to ask what was for dinner or what movie they should watch.

After Sonja had left, Dan had reorganized his life around Milo. Taking him to school, making sure he always had everything he needed, going on weekends in Hudson. Sometimes Dan thought that it could actually work until Milo was eighteen, but he couldn't ignore the look of sadness of the boy's face every time he got off the phone with Philip. Because Philip had been the only father he had known.

Milo's bags were at the entrance and Dan could see he wasn't very concentrated on the game. He was probably eager to see Philip again. Evidence of that, when someone knocked on the door, Milo instantly got up. Dan followed with little enthusiasm and went to open the door. When he moved aside to let Philip in, Milo almost jumped in his arms.

It was visible that Philip was also extremely happy to see Milo again. It reminded Dan of Ombeline every time she got back to New York from Geneva.

Philip put Milo down after two whole minutes and turned to Dan to shake his hand.

"Thank you" he said, and Dan could hear the gratefulness in his voice "Thank you for everything that you've done for us"

"It's completely normal" Dan said "And if you ever need anything, even though I'm in New York and you live in Boston…"

"You'll be the first one I call" Philip told him.

They both turned to Milo, who was looking up at them with his backpack already on. Dan smiled to him.

"Wait, I forgot something"

He went to his room and came back with Cedric. He handed him to Milo.

"_Was ist das?" _Milo asked.

"It's Cedric. I've had him since I was very little, younger than you. He's been my best friend forever. I want you to have him, so you can remember that you'll always have another friend here."

Milo nodded "_Danke_"

Then he walked toward Dan and hugged him around the waist.

"I will miss you and Ombeline"

Dan stroke Milo's back and put a gentle hand on his head.

"We'll miss you too, buddy"

Then with a last shake of hands with Philip and a last waved to Milo, Dan stood alone in his loft, for the first time in years.

Back to being Lonely Boy.

But no. He would not let it happen. As Dan was looking at the door, he took the decision to embrace the chance he got of having a family. No one should walk away from that and he wasn't about to. So he took his keys, and called the car service. Gone with his principles from middle-class brooklynite, it didn't matter for now. The faster he would get where he wanted, the better is was.

When he got in the elevator, he felt like the apprehension was eating him from inside. With a tight stomach, a dry throat and shaking legs, he got inside the penthouse.

Blair was in the kitchen with Ombeline perched up on a chair. They were baking something, Dan didn't stop to pay attention and find out what. When Blair looked up and saw him, she seemed surprised.

"Daddy, we're making a pie!" Ombeline said joyfully when she saw him.

Dan smiled at his daughter and went back to being serious when he looked at Blair again.

"I know you hate monologues, so I'm going to try and make this quick. Although, for me, it's going to be hard."

Blair hesitated to send Ombeline away but she decided not to. As in any tense situation, her daughter was her grasp of sanity to hold on to. Besides if Dan wanted to talk in front of her, it couldn't be bad. But still, she felt her breathing become erratic.

"I will start by saying that I love you, Blair" Dan said "I know that you know it but I want you to hear it. I love you. And I'm also quite an asshole since I've been divorced for only five months. It's not fair to Sonja, but…she left and we've already wasted so much time. We should be together, Blair. Not only because you are the mother of my daughter, but because it's mind blowing how we are made for each other. I don't know why we've tried to deny it, I don't know how we were even able to, but we are. It's as simple as that, Blair. Love is as simple as that. I think that with all the crazy stuff that happened in our lives, we forgot how to be simple. But I want to try, with you. I want to be happy with you and Ombeline and I will do everything I can to make you happy. What do you say?"

Blair could feel the confuse glance of Ombeline upon them both. She was big enough to understand that things were about to change.

"So, you want to start over?" Blair asked, unsure if it was her imagination tricking her.

"No" Dan shook his head "Starting over is for people who made things wrong the first time. I want to pick up where we left off"

Blair swallowed. A Cuban party had started in her stomach and she was back to being a fifteen year old with rainbows and pink clouds in her brain.

"If we move in together, can we still have Dorota?" she asked with shy smile.

Dan laughed and picked up Ombeline in his arms, before walking to face Blair.

"Dorota's entire family can move in with us, if it'll make you happy."

Dan leaned down to kiss Blair softly on the lips, before embracing her with Ombeline between them.

/

In a month, they had fought about where they should live. About the colors of the curtains. About Ombeline's meals. About what movie to watch. About French literature versus British in the 19th century.

_How can you love Oscar Wilde? I mean, yes, he deserves the respect, but everything he writes is so predictable. Besides, the movie adaptations are so much better than the books, it's sad, really._

_It's never been proven that eating vegetables is actually better than not eating them._

_Staten Island? Humphrey, were you lying about loving me?_

_No. We are not watching _August Rush_ again. Enough with your modern fairytales crap._

In a month they had laughed about Serena's pregnancy mood swings. About Nate's new hobby : mosaics. About Ombeline actually trying to figure out who came first, the egg or the chicken? About Blair's new shoes which gave her blister for a week.

In a month they had made love about fifty-three times. Dan had counted. On her kitchen island, right after desert. On his desk, almost fully clothed. Against her office doors, after all her employees had gone home. In his father's bathroom, in the middle of brunch. In her bed at the penthouse, slowly, sweetly, all night and the morning after that. In his bed at the loft, Blair in a complete frenzy, holding on to the shelves above his head to ride him harder.

In a month she had told him "I love you" about fourteen times. Dan had counted that too. And he had responded every time.

They were happy, everyone else could see it. They hadn't even tried to make the announcement that they were back together. One day, at brunch Blair teased Nate about potentially being a woman and Dan found it so funny he had to kiss her right then, in front of everyone's open mouths.

Ombeline loved seeing her parents like that, it was visible. She would smile every time she would see them kiss, hug, laugh together. She could take both of their hands in hers when they went to see a puppet show. She could also always convince one of them –Dan –to give her ice cream after six.

And she could watch _Finding Nemo_ with both of them, just like they were doing that night of August, all of them settled on the couch at the loft. Unfortunately, after a day of playing with Travis, she was exhausted and fell asleep right before her favorite part, the part with the sea turtles that can live more than a hundred years.

Blair and Dan continued to watch, his arm around her and their daughter snoring on his lap. When the credits started rolling, Blair stretched out.

"I feel so sore" she murmured.

Dan reached to stroke her back gently

"You haven't been feeling great lately, I've noticed. You never get on top anymore when we…"

Blair hit him with a warning look and pointed at Ombeline sleeping.

"She's asleep" Dan laughed "Do you wanna eat something?"

Blair shook her head.

"I already rendered my dinner, I'm not up for a midnight snack."

"If I didn't know better, I would think that you're pregnant" Dan said, getting up with Ombeline in his arms.

Blair got up with him and frowned.

"Well…we actually don't know better, Humphrey" she said "I mean, when was the last time we used a condom?"

Dan looked at her, incredulous.

"Blair you _still_ don't take the pill?"

Blair crossed her arms.

"Why should I be the only one who has to be responsible? Besides, I don't like it. It makes me grumpy and bitchy."

"Oh yes, because that's not how you usually are."

Another warning look.

"Watch it, Humphrey"

Dan shook his head and went to put his shoes on, Ombeline still in his arms.

"Grab your jacket" he told Blair.

They walked together to the nearest 24/7 drugstore and bought a pregnancy test. When they got back to the loft Dan went to put Ombeline to bed while Blair went to the bathroom. When she got out, Dan was in the kitchen making tea and Blair went to stand next to him, putting the stick on the kitchen counter.

"Hey this is where I cook" Dan protested

Blair ignored him and took the mug he was giving her.

"How long do we have to wait to know?" he asked.

"It says seven minutes on the box" Blair shrugged

"Jesus, seven minutes? One would think you could afford a test that worked faster"

"Hey, don't look at me! It's the best we could find in stupid Brooklyn"

Dan laughed and kissed her on the temple. He could see she was nervous, and he wanted to distract her for at least seven minutes.

"I finished Maupassant's _Une Vie_ by the way" he said "Most boring book ever."

He congratulated himself when he saw her gasp, eyes wide open with indignation. Her argumentation about why this book was one of Maupassant's finest work and a great homage to his master, Gustave Flaubert lasted thirteen minutes. Dan listened to her until she drank the last sip of her tea.

"Blair" he then said "Seven minutes have long passed"

Blair seemed to be brought back to earth and put down the mug to pick up the stick. She handed it to Dan.

"Do you want to do it?" she asked him and he seemed surprised "I mean if I'm really pregnant, it would be nice for you to be invested that way. You'd be the first one to know and you won't have to complain about not being able to breastfeed."

Dan laughed and took the stick, still not looking at it.

"Why can't we do things the conventional way?" he asked and then kissed her softly on the lips. "If you're not pregnant, we are definitely trying to get married before making a second baby."

His words and all they implied pierced Blair's heart in the most delicious way.

"What if I am pregnant?" she asked

Dan looked at her with a smile.

"We are definitely getting married before making a third one" he said.

Blair bit the inside of her lips, trying to repress the enamored smile that was about to appear on her face. She gave up when Dan leaned down to kiss her again. When he pulled away, he instantly looked down to the stick.

"Well this was a dumb idea" he said after a few seconds.

Blair frowned "What? Why?"

Dan looked up.

"Because I have no idea if the pink thing in the middle is supposed to say if you're pregnant or not. Can't they make those things clearer?"

Blair rolled her eyes.

"Like I said: stupid Brooklyn"

She started walking toward his bedroom, yawning. She only turned around to see him looking at her from the kitchen.

"And by the way" she said "the pink thing means that we're going to have a new apartment soon, unless you want to turn your office into a nursery"

Dan dropped the stick and ran toward her with a smile. Blair let him lift her from the floor and kiss every kissable spot of her face. She gave in to his embrace and kissed him with all the passion she could find within her. She was so happy it made her feel like she could fly.

They both went to bed that night thinking about the life that was ahead of them. They didn't sleep at all, just talked and made plans. Names, apartments, schools, vacation destinations, wedding dates. It had been five years since they had broken up. And they both new it would never happen again.

* * *

_**First I want to say that you guys made writing this story a blast. You were always so reactive in your feedback, analyzing the characters and making speculations about what would happen and all. I really loved it.**_

_**I am not posting the epilogue right away, because if there are any questions that anonymous readers want to ask, you can now and I will answer them when I post the epilogue.**_

_**I will be back with others dair fics throughout the summer, mostly one shots and one three-chapters fic. Prepare for A LOT of fluff. As if this chapter wasn't enough haha.**_

_**Thank you again for going on the journey of Matter or Years with me, you guys are the best. **_

_**Bisous!**_


	7. Epilogue

**EPILOGUE**

* * *

Elvis was three months old when they finally agreed on a wedding date.

December 1st.

They let chance decide. The both wrote the dates they wanted on little pieces of paper, put them all into a bowl and let Ombeline draw. When they saw the date, both of them gave a shout of victory, because it was a date that two of them had written. This realization led to a one-hour argument about why they had never figured out until then that December 1st would suit everyone.

Blair didn't waste time. She called Serena, her mother, her fathers and Dorota. Dan didn't bother calling anyone, since he was pretty sure his father would hear from Lily who would hear from Serena. Sure enough, two hours after Ombeline had drawn the date, his father sent him a text to congratulate him.

They had found a new place, but they waited until after the wedding to move in. How they found it was a fluke, too. It was an afternoon of April, when the two of them were taking a walk around Williamsburg, Blair with her immensely swollen belly, picking in the box of nectarines Dan was holding for her. He was in the middle of a rambling about why his mom's new boyfriend was nothing more than a pedant Banksy wannabe when he realized that he had lost Blair.

When he turned around, he saw her a few steps from him, nipping on her nectarine, her brows frowned, fixing at a house. When Dan joined her, he could see a "FOR SALE" sign planted in the front yard. Dan laughed because –was Blair really considering buying a house in Brooklyn? When she saw his face she told him to imagine it with a wooden fence and a nice gate, to keep it from outside viewers. Dan could picture it, and he fell in love with the vision in his head. But there was no way they could have it, because a lot of people had probably already made an offer on it. When he shared that fact with Blair, she dismissed it with a wave.

"Please" she said "I'm Blair Waldorf"

And indeed she was Blair Waldorf. The following day, they met with the proprietor and after two hours of discussion with Blair, the man gave in. They would just have to sign the papers, and the house was theirs. It had a nice backyard where Dan and Blair could already picture a swing for their two children and a hot tub for romantic summer nights. Dan thought about how lucky he was that day, marrying a woman who could always get her way.

Chuck had come back to New York, right after they had gotten back together. Blair had not seen him once, nor talked to him. But one day, when Dan was in Manhattan he ran into him. Not very surprising, since he was only two blocks from The Empire. They exchanged a glance, then Chuck simply nodded and went on with his day. Later, he would start a relationship with the daughter of one of his investors, but he would never marry.

Dan and Blair's wedding plans were perfect, according to Blair. After a lot of convincing from Serena, she agreed to let Carter officiate the ceremony. Of course, all of New York knew about the wedding, and just the day before, Dan received a package. It was a black and white picture of him and Blair laughing on what seemed to be Ombeline's second birthday party. There was a note attached to it that said "_Toivotan teille onnellista elämää, paskiainen" _followed by a smiley face. He recognized the language, but had to check to actually know that it meant "_I wish you a happy life, bastard" _in Finnish.

The ceremony took place on the pedestrian way of the Brooklyn Bridge, right in the middle of their two childhood worlds. Blair didn't wear a dress. Just a white blouse with a long blue navy skirt. Dan didn't wear a tuxedo, but a suit Blair had chosen for him, matching her dress –he didn't complain about how much it had cost.

There were only their families, with Nate and Ivy and their two children. Milo and Philip were there too and Dan insisted they got on the big family picture.

But because it was still Blair Waldorf's –Waldorf-Humphrey actually –wedding, afterward there was a reception at the Plaza with about three hundred and fifty guests. Dan barely saw Blair during the reception, she was too busy with Serena ordering the photographs to take the best shots of Milo, Ombeline, Travis, Emily, Adeline and Elvis, or as they called them "The Super Next Generation".

So he spent most of his time talking to guests and listening to Harold's finest stories about his little Blair Bear.

Two months after the wedding, the Waldorf-Humphreys were very well settled in their new house when neighbors of them moved out. Sure enough, three months later, Serena, Carter and Adeline were replacing those neighbors.

And from that moment, a pattern started to form in their lives.

Every two days, Serena would let herself in in the afternoon, and make some tea, whether Dan was there or not. Then she would patiently wait for Blair who would almost come home running with a piece of gossip to discuss with her best friend. Then Dorota would bring the kids home, Carter would arrive with join with Adeline and they would all have dinner together.

Milo would come to their house every first Friday of the month, and stay the whole weekend. Dan was pleasantly surprised by how much Milo had got attached to Blair. But it made sense, Blair was probably a softer version of his own mother.

Thanksgiving dinner would always take place at Nate and Ivy's. Sometimes, Chuck and his girlfriend would join. Blair would always get up early in the morning and drive to Manhattan with Serena to help Ivy prepare the dinner.

The Waldorf-Humphreys would often go to vacation, but not for more than three weeks. Being away from New York actually sickened them and by the end of their trips, they were eager to go back to their house, where they had grown all their little habits. The last week of August, they would all go stay at Nate's country house in Connecticut and have their annual End of Summer Barbecue.

Two years after the wedding, Blair and Dan decided to have a third child. Actually, it was Blair who had brought up the idea, and Dan instantly agreed, although surprised. He was less surprised when he learned that Serena was two months pregnant and Ivy four.

And so in the same year, Ivy gave birth to Samuel, Serena gave birth to Vita and Blair gave birth to Cleo.

The story of how the three of them tricked their husbands to impregnate them at around the same time would become a classic at Van der Woodsen-Humphrey's brunches.

In a matter of years, Dan and Blair had both married twice, had had three children, had grown in their careers, had grown with each other and had discover things about life. They had learned that running away from the past was unnecessary, and that the future could only build based on it, they just had to find the right fundament. They had learned that nothing could ever replace a family and that they had to embrace it, in the risk of losing it. They had learned that friendship is one of the core elements of a happy life, and that compromise was the basis of a healthy one. They had learned that love is always, and would always be enough.

And so, the day they brought Cleo back home, they sat with her and their two other children in the living room, answering curious questions of the older siblings, watching her sleep peacefully in her mother's arms. Dan and Blair watched their three children and smiled at each other. The feeling of contentment they felt wasn't new. It was a feeling they had gotten used to.

* * *

**_Thanks again for being with me all along! I will be back soon, and with so many dair fluff you might actually see rainbows between the sentences of my stories ;)_**

**_Love and Bisous !_**


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